Roommate Rant

I fuckin' HATE having roommates.

Okay, just THESE roommates. And every other variety of roommates I've ever had. How is it a guy that's mostly fucking blind, such as m'self, can be the neat freak in an apartment with three other people living in it, any one of whom has 20/20 vision? Mine's 20/60 at best, but apparently I'm the only one who can see what a fucking sty this place is turning into.

In the living room, we have a desk, a table, a smaller side table, a tv stand and a floor. ALL of them are literally piled with stuff. PILED. Piled THICK. It's fuckin' disgusting.

Now, it ain't food... uh... items, and at least that's something. Just books, CDs, DVDs, clothes (hope they're at least clean clothes) stuff, stuff and more stuff.

God dammit.

Mine are cats...they don't care.

That said, while I'm no Martha Stewart, I do clean and so forth.

3 people living in one apartment? Sounds like it would be a tough situation to keep neat, no matter what.

If you are a neat freak, you need to find your own place.

Why do anal retentive neat freaks expect everyone else to adapt to them?

Clutter makes me crazy.

Yeah, it's the clutter.

I'm so glad it's only me and my cat.

I was always the roommate that got bitched at for being messy. I can't keep a place tidy. It's just not possible. It used to drive me mad when the others wanted the place to be perfect all the time. I just can't live like that.

"Living" is the operative word. It's a residence, not an interior decoration showroom.

TQ...
I've been there.
Ranting is pointless.

And.. remember I saw how things got when you were living on your own.

Eh. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. My surroundings affect my mood. If there is random shit everywhere, I start gettin' all nervous and twitchy.

Maybe, but NOT ranting leads to explosive flatulence. Ask Uncle Albert, he knows.

Yeah, but keep in mind: "how things GOT." Like I said, I'm the mostly-fuckin'-blind one. So, sure, it sometimes has to get bad before I notice. But God damn... just, God damn. The only reason I haven't gone completely batshit insane cleaning this place is because I don't know where their shit goes, and if I take a wild guess where it goes, it's goin' in the big smelly metal storage unit behind the building. You know, the one with a lid instead of a door, the one where the Mexicans get all their furniture from.

A bag, Big bag, in their room.

With Dave in the bag.

Murder them, chop off their limbs, then neatly put them away in their own dressers.

Dave is living there too?? Jesus man, u gotta get outta there. I don't know exactly how you can be living with scott anyways.....he's nice and everything, but he isn't homeless, so why does he always look like he is?

No, not for awhile now. When I showed up, I insisted the place become pay-for-stay. Mainly because of Dave.

In teh worx. Sonya and I are getting our own place when she comes down from Pine Top.

Because he's a hippie...? You hadn't noticed this?

HEY!!
I'm a hippie too and I don't look like I'm homeless!


Most of the time.

exactly! I love scott, but damn...sometimes the BO is a little too much for me to handle.


And who is Sonya?

That's 'cause you're just in touch with your inner hippie.

The next ex. lol

And god dammit, it would also be nice if -- every now and then -- I could listen to music without needing to wear earbuds. But the roommates are always asleep until 3 IN THE FUCKING AFTERNOON.

That sounds like an excellent reason not to use earphones and to play your music nice and loud.

Yeah, except...

I'm not an asshole, I just play one online.

Oh, and then the roommate's girlfriend, this nasty, selfish little pint-sized midget witch, likes to blare HER fucking music until 5 in the fucking morning.

I get the computer from 7 in the morning 'til 3 to get writing work done. Guess how much focus and energy I've got for that.

But if I damage the speakers, how will I turn them up to max for a nice, rousing 0530 bagpipe ditty?

You BUY a set of pipes and do your own best rendition.

Bah. The roommates are one thing -- everyone in the Phoenix Metro Valley area, though, that might be a mile too far.

Okay, and here's something else that's been bugging me. Not about the roommates, this one, it's about their cats.

Every time I go into the bathroom to take a piss, one or the other of their cats, or both, INSIST on being let into the bathroom. *scratchscratchscratchscratch* "RRREOWW!!!" scratchscratchscratch "MRRRRAAOOWWW!!!" scratchscratchscratchscratch

So I let 'em in. They jump up on the edge of the tub and sit there, together, staring at my dick.

What. The fuck. CREEPY.