Some crap about American Idol.

I keep waiting for the inevitable moment on American Idol where they go...

"You paced it well, your timing was great, you're a natural pro....BUT, that fart you ripped at the end...sorry...no..no...security!".

Only thing that makes me peek in on the audition episodes.

I keep waiting for it to happen.

It's gonna.

It's gonna.

Just you watch.

The audictions are the only thing worth watching.

Top 16 = end of my viewership.

Some fucking mongoloid tuned the TV right in front of my stationary bike to to one of those talent shows tonight. Asshole had to put it on that channel, even though the reception was fucked and the sound is always off anyway. Made me long for the usual Fox news in closed-caption.

So I was thinking to myself, "Gosh, self, wouldn't it be great if someone dropped in through the ceiling, Batman-style, landed right in the middle of the stage hard enough to crack the floorboards and without so much as a wink started mowing everyone down with a minigun like Jesse Ventura in Predator?"

Then I got into the details (60 minutes on that fucking bitch of a bike). Who would I want to go down first? The princess under the spot light, clearly throwing a hissy fit over something the judges had said that she wasn't accepting, or maybe the judges themselves? The inanimate, hatchet-faced monument to cosmetic surgery and the spackling blade school of makeup, or maybe the effeminate looking 45-ish dude with the hair helmet and the snotty demeanor? Nah, I tell myself. That's what Old Painless is for. So we don't have to burden ourselves with such trifling dilemmas. Plenty of relief to go around.

And don't think we forgot about ya, studio audience. We've got some lovely parting gifts for you, too.



I smiled and pedaled faster for a couple of minutes. Thanks, Jesse.

Only if shot with a tranc dart and strapped to a gurney would I tune in to that dreck.

I would pay good money to see Techman shot with a tranq dart.

Now that's reality television!

Is it just me, or is the entire judging panel getting more snarky this season Some of the things Simon says to these contestants are waaaaay over the top, even by his standards.

Not that I blame him. After five seasons, there are bound to be more than one fuckwit who comes up there and wastes the judges' time just to get on TV, like that bi-polar schizo bitch that came on about mid-way through last night's episode Seriously, why should morons like that be coddled at all?

I want to know who screens these losers?

If the people passing them on think they have talent, then there's the problem.

If I had to be on that panel, I would be snarky, too.

The screeners are probably looking for two things, contestants with talent and contestants who will embarrass themselves. I'd imagine the latter category of performers is what draws the most viewers.

^
Bingo.

there are plenty of good singers who have pleasant enough voices,but just can't take it to the next level. *I've* had a tad bit of training, but no amount of coaching could bring me up to be the next Kelly Clarkson or Taylor Hicks.

Man... If anyone missed this shit, you've got to see this. Most crazy bitch to ever appear on AI. Too bad Simon wasn't there to add his two cents

I listened to the lowlights on the radio this morning. Man, that one guy singing "Gloria" with such a thick New Yowk/New Joisey accent was hilarious. And the one chick "I could be the only American Idol who can't sing! You can teach me to sing". I may actually have to start watching this shit.

I can't watch it. Last night I was at a friend's who had it on and at one point I just had to step outside for a bit. I am so embarassed for them, I just..... What the fuck is wrong with these people?

How about the fat dude with the pissbowl little boy haircut singing Selina's "dreaming"?

I'm surprised Simon and co. can keep from bursting out into laughter at most of these auditions.

Then again, after six seasons, I'm sure they've become somewhat more immuned to this crap than we are, after listening to about 30,000 people each year embarrass themselves

Wife and I started watching Idol about four weeks in last year. We missed a lot of the early rounds. This year we're starting from the beginning.

I'm pretty sure a lot of these losers are let into this stage of auditions just to make interesting TV, but it's painful to watch. The drama, the self-delusions, the whining and crying and just plain crazy people. It's bad television IMHO.

Once the show gets into the actual competition . . . after the field is cut down to about twenty contestants and then forward from there, it gets good.

I just listen to Opie & Anthony make fun of the freak show part of the series. But I wish someone would go nuts on the show and shoot the judges and other contestants, most of the people trying out are crazy, at least one has to be extra crazy.

Larry King had William Hung perform "Achy Breaky Heart" today.

It makes me sad that someone like that got a record deal, and I still can't get a job. -_-

I don't normally watch AI, but I was in the room when my daughters were watching that tonight on TiVo.

WTF?

That bitch has some serious, no shit mental problems!

That is called life. It fucks with you all it can and when it is done, it kills you. Cat and mouse, my friend, cat and mouse.

That guy still around?

I always figured the judges made up crap as they went along anyway.

Simon: "I'm sorry, that was way over the top. We want professionalism, not circus performers."

Two days later

Simon: "We're looking for someone over the top. Someone who is different and willing to take risks. That's how you become a star."

Halfway through the season:

Simon: "I don't like you. I don't think you can sing."

Winner of Idol:

Simon: "I knew from the moment you auditioned, that you were unique and talented. Good job."




-J.

American Idol is ALL crap.

Waiting for the inevitable AI winner group hit "push out the dookie".

There is such a thing as being way over the top or not enough. Folks who come in adding falsettos and vocal scoops without getting the melody of the goddamn song first aren't going to get through. Neither will the person whose voice is incredibly mousy.

Most of them are, but Kelly Clarkson has done an admirable job of leaving the show behind and following her own creative path. I hate to admit it, but that girl has some pipes and some really catchy tunes to go with them.

No, Muad Dib is right. All crap. 100% poo.

I'd never buy one of her records, but talent is talent.

She's the only Idol winner that's had a pretty big career.

That's true. However, what I'm referring to is the Judges' constant changing of the requirements. First they want a winner who can be over the top, then they don't. They want someone who can sing incredibly well, and then they'd rather have someone who looked good and sings okay.

-J.

Point taken. I hate it when Simon always has to tear into someone's appearance (Usually a fat girl ) when said person can sing. You can beat that black girl with the blonde, short hair in season two would have won if she wasn't kicked out.

There may be a legitament point that, in general, looks play a big part in the entertainment business. But given who won last season, America's a lot less discriminatory in that regard that Simon Cowe.