stabbing lower abdominal pain

That is indeed me. I VERY seldom use that account.

Edit: I have connection to a very small number of Wordforgers on that account, so it must be finding me by looking for friend of friends.

Glad to see you back around @oldfella1962 !

You just made a lot of people who can't and shouldn't have kids, jealous!

Welcome back

Glad you're not dead, young fella.

(places OF doll back in glass cabinet and looks lovingly for next subject)

whoever was wielding the OF voodoo doll when the medics ran that tube down my nose really took it to the next level! Not quite as bad as a few years ago when they ran a tube containing a tiny camera up my urethra and into my bladder to see why I had blood in my urine, but it came pretty close!
But I do know when the medics say "you may feel some discomfort" that really means "pray for death". Also when they bring the biggest strongest medics into the room you know the shit's about to get real.

OF, your X-rays are ready.

Did I miss something? Was @oldfella1962 gone for medical reasons?

It's shit like that why I don't use Facebook.

It somehow linked me to coworkers even though I never mentioned my job in my Facebook account.

Yeah. He had a septic tank problem.

So they had to send out the truck and fix him up.

yep, that's the X-ray they took last week. Sadly, removing it is considered "elective surgery" until a COVID vaccination is developed.

this guy was great! I even took the time to do their online survey, a rarity indeed.

yes, three days of fun at the hospital including: x-rays, CAT scans (they didn't find one fucking cat!) tubes up my nose and down into my innards, enemas, IV hookups, and plenty of morphine.
Who says you can't have fun on a "staycation" these days?

Oops I almost forgot I had a really great cheeseburger for lunch on my last day. Army hospital food is much better than most people realize.

If you don't mind my asking, what was it? Intestinal blockage?

yes - again. I had a tumor removed in 2004. Not to get too technical, but as a result I lost some guts, and they rerouted the remaining guts. Over time scar tissue and shrinkage & shifting caused a kink in my intestinal garden hose. In 2017 I had a blockage similar to this one, but this one was worse. Future blockages will be even worse. I suggested doing surgery and starting from scratch to remove the ever worsening hose kink. They can go in right where they did in 2004 - the scar is still there - cut along the dotted line! They agree it's a sound strategy, but here's the catch:
that would be considered "elective surgery" in the time of COVID-19. So after pumping out all the backed up sewage goo through a tube in my nose going down my gullet (a couple of pounds worth!) and flushing me out with two enemas of increasing strength from my other end, they cleared the blockage until next time. A few months? A couple of years? Nobody knows. But they did give me some tips on early detection so I can immediately back off before it gets dangerously blocked, and I may save myself another trip to the hospital.

Granted this whole plumbing shebang wasn't quite as urgent as 2018 when I lost 30 percent of my blood over a few hours and almost died - that was a different plumbing problem unrelated to this one.
So, that problem could pop back up again, but I have tips on how to detect that early. Losing consciousness and shitting blood being the red flags (no pun intended) to get myself to the hospital.

This may be the most relatable I've ever found you.

*When doves crrrryyyyyyyyy*