The Enterprise had just been crippled from a Klingon ambush and they narrowly escaped. They needed to get their wounded off of the ship and onto a planet in order for them to survive. Something about McCoy's medical equipment not working well in the ship's musty air I really didn't get a clear message on that situation. Anyways, they found a planet nearby, but, it needed to be checked out by a scouting party in order to ensure that it was safe to beam the wounded down to the surface. “What's the situation with the transporter room, Mr. Scott.” “She's busted up real good sir and can only beam down one person at a time.” Kirk turned to Spock for an answer. “Well captain, it would be troublesome to beam down one person at a time.” “Yes it would Mr. Spock.” “May I offer a solution to this problem?” “Please by all means.” “I would prefer to tell you in private.” “Alright Spock, to my quarters then but it must be quick.” They went to Kirk's quarters and locked the door. “Jim, I know a way to get three men down there at once.” “Oh yeah? How do you suppose that?” “Well, Vulcans have a secret compartment that I have never told you about.” “Storage compartment, storage compartment?” “In a sense.” “Well, show me what you mean.” Spock dropped his pants and started feeling around his balls. Then, he put his hands underneath the ball skin and pulled out each testicle like a pair of false teeth. “Each side can hold one person, but I will not be able to walk so well.” “How can you fit a person in there?” “This skin is very stretchy on Vulcans, Jim, watch.” He put his whole arm in his right testicle area. Jim was impressed. “Well, let's get Bones to the transporter room and all three of us will beam down.” They went to the transporter room and Spock removed his pants. “Dammit, Jim, I'm not crawling into some Vulcan nook or cranny.” “I assure you doctor that these are neither nook nor cranny, but my ballsack.” “Bones you need to do this for the mission.” “Dammit, fine.” McCoy crawled inside of the left testicle. “My god man, why haven't you told us about this before? It's so comfy in here.” McCoy snuggled in deeper and went to sleep. “I wanna try, Spock.” “Go right ahead, Jim, It feels good on my end too.” Kirk cannon-balled into the testicle and rested his head on Spock's penis like it was a pillow. “Alright Mr. Scott, beam us down.” The transporter sent all three of them down onto the planet's surface. But, Kirk and McCoy were too comfortable to get out. “Alright captain, McCoy, we need to scout this planet. “Can't you let a man damn sleep?” “Yeah Spock, quiet down!” Spock stood there while the two men slept inside of his ballsack. He decided that the most logical thing to do at that moment would be to masturbate. He started rubbing and rubbing with thoughts of Jim and McCoy enjoying his warm, fleshy insides. He was getting closer and closer to his big finish and BAM! Bones and Kirk were sucked up from their testicular resting places and shot out of Spock's penis. “What in the blazes?” “Spock!” “Sorry, it was the most logical way to pass the time.” They got up and started scouting out the planet. There was no animal or anything in sight. “Well men, it looks like this place is safe for them to come down.” “Hey Jim, Spock, I have an idea I want to try before we beam the injured down.” “What is it, Bones?” “I propose that you and I cum into Spock's testicle compartments and then he cums out our cum.” “That sounds hot to me, what do you think, Spock.” “Logical.” “Well then let's do it.” Kirk was rubbing his hands together and licking his lips. Spock held open each side of his ballsack and the two men started yanking it really fast. Bones came first in a grumpy fashion, then Kirk. With the semen in place, Spock started to yank it with the help of the other two. He came like a champ and sprayed the combined semen of the two men all over the place. McCoy brought a glob of it to his tongue and tasted it. “Jim, we have found something remarkable.” “What is it?” “What your Vulcan first officer has just ejaculated here is a healing serum that can heal any wound! We must collect it and apply it to all of the wounded on the ship.” They scooped up as much as they could and put it in a sample jar. They brought it back to the ship and saved every injured crewmembers life with McSpirk semen
As cries for help go, this one makes me worry less about suicide and more about whether the law lets me legally assist it.
