Let's assume a hypothetical. Assume on one stormy, wind-swept evening, that a necromancer of unimaginable power were to raise the dead 16th President. He dusts off his jacket, dons his trademark stovepipe hat and marches to Washington. Now here's the kicker: which party would he identify with, and which party would nominate him?
I'd rather vote for the powerful necromancer. I, for one, would welcome our new zombie-raising mystic overlord.
Following on from the unresolved "could Bill Clinton be VP" question from a few days ago, here's another one. Is there anything in your constitution that strictly requires someone to be alive to be voted president?
No one would nominate him. Perception is everything. "You've said it yourself a million times. If there had been a TV in every living room sixty years ago, this country does not elect a man in a wheelchair."
Zombie Abe Lincoln gets hit by a Care Bear Stare after a mid-air collision with Jackie Chan. Teh internetz said so.
I think the Fred Thompson campaign has already showed what happens to zombies who run for President. No one would nominate zombie Lincoln after that.
... My loyalties are divided; do I back one of my own race, or one of my own allies.... My only hope is that Zombie Lincoln manages to infect Hillary in the process; that evil will under my control would bring great founts of power. After he contributes to my growing flock of minions, Muad Dib can go to town on him.
Ooh! I'd forgotten Zombie Lincoln. As tempting as it sounds, Zombie Reagan would be silly. He's already had his two terms. Crap. I just realized Zombie Teddy Roosevelt has also had two terms. So Zombie Lincoln is the Republicans last, best hope against Zombie JFK. Can someone who's brain is missing be zombified? I should know that but I don't. I can't think of a precedent. But if it is possible, the fucker would be unstoppable. How can you destroy the brain of something that's brain is already destroyed?
And therein lies the question. Would a zombie who's responsible for the modern era of federalism and civil rights find much of a home in the Republican Party?
