The Most Pathetic Troll in the History of Wordforge

As do we all.

Such a plethora of ways to respond to this fail.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've seen some lame trolls in my time (and some rather good ones) but this takes the cake for one of the lamest.

This merits a salute from Tal himself:

This thread was a hoot. I've done a couple good trolls over at TK, but I've got to hand it to you, garamet. Well done

Skrain,

Re: The Most Interesting Thing on Wordforge These Days

Sadly, this thread is about the most interesting thing on Wordforge these days.

You know what the really sad thing is? The heart-strings-pullingly sad thing? This thread makes me feel bad for garamet. Not 'cause she got trolled, but because she got trolled poorly.

I disagree with garamet on damn near everything, but even I, who will half-heartedly toss out an ageist troll at her here and there, think that if somebody's gonna get her all excitable about something, that somebody has obligated himself to fuckin' deliver. And not just obligated himself to her, but to the rest of us, as well. You had us all expecting a spectacle, Dukat, you no-talent shitheel. garamet was probably on the edge of her seat just waiting to see what you'd come up with -- you had her taking her nitro pills and laying off the laudanum, and for what? You come back with pictures of you burning a book she probably just signed off to a ghostwriter so she could dodge the rheumatiz? You suck. You don't even deserve more than that -- you suck.

Actually, I'm sorry, I have to break persona for a second. I actually love garamet. She's my very favorite-est foil here on the board, right up in the top three with Uncle Albert, may he rest in peace, and Turdin. I troll garamet like I'm stepping up to the mic at a roast.

Hes such a pussy he's using a safety lighter as well. No matches, flamable liquids, fireworks etc.

Totally gay!

Oh dear.

Y'know what, fuck this shit. Everybody who loves garamet, raise yer hand: *raises his hand*

Garamet is one of those weird people where I agree with her on most things politically, think I would get along with her excellently in person, but don't really like her Red Room persona on Wordforge. That means to me one of two things.

1. It's just one of those things where the particular style of communication doesn't mesh with me.

2. She's one of the best trolls here.

Your mistake was in rating skrain as anything better than a confused immature boy who likes to play with matches when mommy and daddy are out. Most of us expected fail, though the spectacular level of fail was hard to predict.

garamet and I agree and disagree on many things. That's life.

She seems cool.

Thanks are in order

I have to say this is a first. No, not "trolls playing the 'Ur boox R teh suk!' game." As I've said before, that's almost a rite of passage here. Rather, it's this:

Thank you, Skrain, for putting me in some pretty exalted company.

I know that was not your intention (though I'm still not clear on what your intention was...perhaps you can clarify), but it has been the outcome.

:kungfail:










:failedsodie:

Hell, I don't much like her, but that was still the most pathetic troll I've ever seen, and as I pointed out, she actually won in the end because he still bought her book.

He didn't even pour on lighter fluid.

Unintended consequences

If there were ever any doubt that the pen (or, in this case, the keyboard) is mightier than the sword (or the Projectile Weapon of Your Choice), those photos should lay it to rest.

Note that the spine isn't cracked. He did literally buy the book for the sole purpose of burning it. He was so afraid of the words, he didn't dare look inside, merely took offense at the cover art. (Perhaps his real target was the artist?)

Or perhaps he thinks that that damaging the physical manifestation of your work somehow damages you as a person or the words you write here in our discussions. And he clearly is unable to understand the divide between fact and fiction. It's a delusional life he leads, but maybe when he is a bit older and out of high school, he'll mature.

^Yeah, conflating George Takei with Sulu was a bit of a giveaway, although such "mature" posters as Volpone frequently make that mistake as well.

Fanboys, eh?

This thread makes me really glad we don't have negreps that count anymore.

Probably a whole lot of the funniest insults that have been posted here in awhile would never have happened if all they had to do was neg the moron.

So...countdown to Skrain Dukat disappearing forever and some new lame troll popping up starts.....now....

My apologies to the internet.

Best laid plans and all that, what a fucking disaster my great idea turned out to be. The reason I had put a week delay on it, was because I was going to my parents house on Thursday for dinner and planned to get all my garamet-written books. I had Probe, Strangers, Catalyst of Sorrows, had pretty much all of them boxed up and a plan to make an impressive flaming pyre.

But what I failed to remember was when I got my kindle I sold all of my books at Half Priced Books. So here I am Friday with nothing. So I go to Half Priced Books at lunch and hope to hell they have at least one of her novels, which they did, which I'm pretty sure is mine, so I've now double bought it.

So I say fuck it, doing this is not as bad as doing nothing. So I wait for my wife and daughter to leave (they are at a wedding this weekend) and I walk over to the rec area of my apartment complex. I have no matches, once our daughter was born and we got to very fluffy cats, my wife no longer burns candles. We have nothing but a mostly empty grill lighter that was in the junk drawer.

So I get there and the fucking book won't burn.

It melts it singes, it smells like roasted marshmallows. Then my camera battery dies and I've left my cell phone at home. So i run back home with the still smoldering book in the grill and come back with my phone. Finally get a little flame going and thought well maybe I should piss on it, I dunno, then a bunch of little kids show up at the playground and I picture myself in jail within the hour if I whip out my dick and pee, so I throw it on the ground and stomp on it with my very ugly yet very comfortable shoes.

Thus ended the only time I'll promise anything without having the slightest clue on what I'm doing.

For the record I'm 31, have a 4 year old daughter and a wife who would laugh at me worse than you all have. But I gotta say, I've been dying at the responses of you guys. Your disdain and your images and insults are truly hilarious and I've been laughing out loud and enjoying them.

See you next time on Troll Fail.

Learn when to walk away, dude.

I'm not gonna leave or change into another self. Its the internet I really don't care what people think of me. This is where I can say thing like smelly cunt farting anus licker with no retribution.

Wait, you have a Kindle?

Can you but a couple dozen copies of my book so you can teach me a lesson by deleting them?

That he feels compelled to say such things speaks volumes.

Too long, didn't read.

So, given your admission that anyone but you would find this exercise ludicrous, was it strictly "Hey, WF, :lookatme:" or was it something else?

I got the thread to 10 pages. Got people united in making fun of me. I could almost be Jesus like