So I'm in Walmart to buy a thermometer (oral not rectal....not that there's anything wrong with that!) and wouldn't you know it: no old fashioned simple kind meaning a glass tube with mercury. They are all battery operated. So I open a box to test one to see if it works before I buy it - maybe the battery is dead or whatever. It puts the sensor under the tongue (love that movie!) and I get 95 degrees and some change. So I try to see if the battery is in it and I can't unscrew the battery compartment without a screwdriver. Screw this, I lay it on the shelf. So I grab a different model, run the self test....works so far. I put it in my mouth for a full minute - 95 degrees and change again! Now I'm pissed, so I get some store help. I want them to show me what I'm doing wrong. They ask me if I had anything cold in my mouth. I say "no" and she says "maybe you didn't have it far enough under your tongue." I oblige her, putting it well under my tongue for over a minute....96.5 degrees. A little warmer, probably because I'm getting upset and pissed off. She tells me I have to buy it anyway since it was in my mouth. No big deal, it was for my sick son anyway so I guess it will still be accurate enough if has a raging fever to detect any high temperature. Later at work I google my incident and it says that 95 degrees is bordering on hypothermia - that 98.6 is average, but if you go below 97.8 or something you could have a serious medical condition. Granted my temperature has always ran low (97 and change) but no doctor or hospital has ever said that's an issue. But now (apparently) my temperature is about three degrees below normal. Has anyone here ever ran across this in themselves or others? This is very odd! I'm not feeling sick or tired or have any symptoms or maladies. Discuss!
Wait, you were putting walmart products under your tongue and then back on the shelf? At least they weren't rectal. Not that I can criticise: I once went apeshit in Carrefour looking for creamcheese. Opening cheese containers. Putting them back. Asshole french don't do cream cheese. La Vache qui Rit (laughing cow) is the closest it gets.
