Ugh, kemo sabe! Tonto in the new production of the Lone Ranger is...

...Johnny Depp. Which means this will not be a serious take on the material I was hoping for. Depp as the Ranger might've been good, but casting him as Tonto means the producers are almost certainly going for comedy rather than fidelity to the original story. At the very least, putting someone of Depp's stature in the sidekick role all but assures it will be a distraction.

I am depressed.

I will hold out hope. Depp is an amazing actor. Yes, I could see him do well as the Ranger, although I really like a Ranger with steely blue eyes and a square jaw.

And Disney is generally pretty faithful to source material--almost reverent, I would argue. They did OK, carrying the torch for Zorro for some time IIRC, so I still hold out hope.

I want a new Lone Ranger for our generation more than I want a good many things.

(By the way, have you seen the recent comic series on the Ranger? It looks VERY cool. I really ought to get off my ass and order the back issues.

So who's going to be the LR?

OMGs!! Oh noes!!! Has to be somebody like Clint Eastwood.....but younger of course.

Excuse me, Mr. Paladin, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that casting director dead? Would that pep you up some?

The only surprising part about this statement is that it only ranks as the 1735th gayest thing you've said.

​

Much as it is (unfairly, IMHO) maligned, the 1981 film 'The Legend of the Lone Ranger' hit mostly the right notes in the telling of the Lone Ranger story. Taken on its own, it's really pretty well done and Tonto is portrayed nobly and with dignity, not merely relegated to sidekick but made the voice of the Ranger's conscience.

I'd be happy if they took this script and...

...ditched the unnecessary narration from the balladeer...

...tightened the origin story in Act One by having John Reid flashback to his meeting with Tonto rather than telling it before the credits...

...resolved the romantic angle with Amy Striker and got her involved in the resolution of the story...

...and put a little more action in Act Three.

Do I need to dig out of mothballs my failed adult film screenplay
"The Bone Ranger" and show Hollywood how to do it right?

Depp's just as good a dramatic actor as he is in comedy, IMO.

I certainly agree he's a fine dramatic actor. As I said, casting him as the Lone Ranger would've had me feeling optimistic about the project.

But casting him--rather than an Indian actor--as Tonto CAN'T be anything other than a distraction from the essential Lone Ranger story. Depp is simply too high profile--and too expensive--an actor to relegate to a sidekick role.

Who knows? Maybe I'll be proven wrong and the final film will be terrific. But I can't help but think that this is leaning towards broad comedy, with Depp playing another eccentric character who dominates the story.

I liked the take on Tonto's character from 'Legend.' Tonto was someone wronged by whites, but still pushed the leader of his tribe to give shelter to John Reid:

Tonto should be played seriously and with dignity. He shouldn't be the comic relief.

I haven't been able to take the Lone Ranger seriously since that 'don't step in that kemo sabe!' joke...

Hey, at least it's not Owen Wilson, right?

I suppose you have a point there. If it were Owen Wilson, there would be NO hope...

An interesting point, purely from a business standpoint. Obviously I'd like to see a franchise and if you're shelling out for Depp as Tonto, you're making it an awfully expensive picture (because you need a Ranger with enough gravitas to not be upstaged by Depp).

I'm really disappointed by the way they handled the Banderas Zorro film. I mean, I liked the film. It was cleverly written, well acted, and had good stunts. It seemed to me like they should've cranked out about three Zorro films in quick succession. Instead years dragged on before they came out with some unfocused sequel that probably ended hopes of a franchise.

Forget about the 1981 film. The worst thing to happen to the Lone Ranger was the 2003 WB TV movie. Happily I was in Iraq at the time, so I've never seen it. But even screencaps and reviews fill me with fear and loathing.

I truly believe this version is unfairly maligned. I've watched it a couple of times recently and, really, it does a decent job with the material.

Hmmm. Have to see what I can dig up on youtube...

Just saw about 10 seconds of the WB's Lone Ranger.



May as well call it Kemo Sabe's Creek.

Impossible. The word "Tonto" translates directly to 'idiot' from spanish to english... and "que mo sabe" means 'he who knows' or 'one of knowledge.' It would be nice to retell the story but there is no way that Tonto could be... tonto.

That might be a problem if (1) it were intended solely for a Spanish-speaking audience and (2) audiences were incapable of realizing that other languages might have similar-sounding words that don't mean the same things.

But to get back to the main point: Tonto has always been portrayed respectfully, as brave, loyal, smart, and resourceful. It would be an insult to longtime fans of the characters to play him in a mocking or disrespectful way.

I wonder if Disney will get any backlash for casting a white guy in the role of a Native American.

Depp's at a dangerous age for an actor - on the cusp of leading-man-makes-transition-to-character-roles.

Gone are the days when Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart could play romantic leads well into their 50s. Hollywood wants 'em Young and Pretty. So an actor past 40 has to diversify, and Depp can certainly do that.

Also, if you need authenticity, one of his grandmothers was full-blood Cherokee.

I pity whoever gets cast as the Lone Ranger, though. He'll have to be a damn fine actor to make sure the camera doesn't love Tonto better.

Or maybe that's the idea. I mean, whether you liked the remake of Wild, Wild West or not, who was more interesting there - the lead or the sidekick?

Less so for men than for women; Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Bruce Willis are all well over 40. But, yes, none of them can continue playing heroic-type leads much longer.

Authenticity isn't in the blood so much as the appearance. Depp just doesn't look very Indian. Certainly not like Jay Silverheels or Michael Horse did...

Seeing as Depp's probably the hottest actor in Hollywood (I think he just picked up $50 million to star in a fourth 'Pirates' film), it's hard to imagine anyone with enough sheer star power to outshine him.

Exactly. 'Wild, Wild West' is a template for making a bad movie and one of the reasons is that the sidekick steals most of the attention from the leading man.

That movie was so bad it's on the Terrorist Watch List.

I dunno. Not much they can't do with a little makeup...

My first thought was "Heath Ledger," dammit...

Although he would probably have been too young, at least for the movies. The "young white man in the wilderness accompanied by an older, wiser Native guide" motif works better on the page - Hawkeye/Chingachgook, Ishmael/Queequeg, etc.

Let's hope they don't make the same mistake again.

So who'd make a good Lone Ranger, do you think?

Then it'll get blasted for racism because Depp's playing in "redface."

Ledger would've made a terrific Ranger, I think.

I believe that the Lone Ranger and Tonto are supposed to be about the same age. Certainly they are in 'Legend,' where young Tonto gives young John Reid the amulet that years later will enable him to recognize his kemo sabe as the sole-surviving Texas ranger at Bryant's Gap...

Yep. But Depp's going to be playing Tonto. I don't think there's a chance in hell he'll play it straight. Why hire Depp for that role in that case?

Christian Bale would be good, though he's probably had his fill of masked fighters for justice. Brad Pitt's too old and a little too pretty but could probably swing it. Eric Bana or Josh Brolin would look right in the outfit, but they're both a little on the old side, too.

Among younger known actors, I'd look at: Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, Sunshine), Jake Gyllenhall, (dare I say?) Hayden Christenson, Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild, Speed Racer), (premature, but here's hoping...) Chris Pine, Brandon Routh. (Incidentally, looking at pictures of under 30 actors today, they all seem to have been chosen to appeal to readers of 16 magazine. Teenage girls must be a big part of the overall box office...)

For Tonto, I'd look at someone like Adam Beach (who is Indian), who played the role of Ira Hayes in 'Flags of our Fathers.'

^Good choices.

Agree! I couldn't remember his name...good choice.

Coming soon, Huck Finn, starring Russell Crowe as Nigger Jim!