Wordforge: Serenity! Part 1

Cut to: A beautiful, brightly lit and utterly unrealistically sunny outdoor British schoolyard...

TheLurker: So when the Earth was used up, we found a new solar system and found hundreds of new Earths...
Young Miniborg: Systems.
TheLurker: I beg your pardon?
Young Miniborg: Systems. It's impossible to have more than one or two Earths in a single solar system. (taps pencil annoyingly)
TheLurker (comes over and takes pencil away): Now Miniborg, it's not nice to correct your teacher...or Joss Whedon...(sticks pencil up Miniborg's nose)

Cut to: a laboratory, where we see Miniborg strapped to a chair with electronic gadgetry up her nose.
Borgs (dressed in polished uniform): So...what's the point of all this?
Flashlight: We're training her to be in the next season of "Lost". We're messing with her brain and making her psychic and doing all sorts of kewl stuff so people will be forever wondering what exactly her problems are.
Borgs: I see. What about her physical training?
Flashlight: Well, I've helped many people go bonkers, but Miniborg is a creature of extraordinary savagry.
Borgs (in quiet, fond voice): Yes...she always used to love to go postal on people. (takes out heavy mallet, bonks Flashlight over the head, then runs over to chair and unties Miniborg)
Mewa: Stop!
(Image of Borgs and MiniBorgs freezes. Mewa walks through image as Flashlight comes running up)
Flashlight: What are you doing here? You can't be allowed...
(Mewa touches computer screen)
Computer: High Anti-Firefly Troll Access Confirmed.
Flashlight: Oh. Well. An Operative of the AFT is always welcome here.
Mewa: You fucked up, dude.
Flashlight: Er...huh?
Mewa: You were trying to create a Lost cast member. You made her psychic. So now she'll know what the producers are planning and will spill the beans to the National Enquirer for a lot of money.
Flashlight: Er, I....
Mewa: You know what your sin is, Flashlight? It's envy. You were hoping to upset people just as much as I do. In days of old, you'd have been flamed to death for such foolishness.
Flashlight: Well, I'm afraid no flaming is allowed...
(Mewa takes out flamethrower)
Flashlight:
Mewa: This is a horrible death. A dishonorable death for a man who has posted foolish things. (Fires flamethrower)
Flashlight:
Mewa (turns and looks at holographic Miniborg): Where are you hiding, little Brit?
Cut To: Logo of "Serenity", which slowly morphs until we see it is plastered on a box of adult diapers, which in turn is stuck to the landing gear of a battered old spaceship, which in turn starts entering atmosphere. We see the box go flying past the bridge window)
Storm: What was that?
Techman: Did you see that?
Storm: Did I just see a box of adult diapers go flying off my freakin' ship?
Techman: Yeah, and it took off part of the heat shield. This could get interesting.
Storm: Define interesting.
Techman: OMG STFU I'm an old man and am going to piss my pants and now probably the seat? And oh yeah...we all go BOOM?
Storm (grabs mike): Uh, everybody, this is the Captain, Techman's going to pee his pants and we're probably going to crash and make a mess. (heads down the corridor, where he sees Jeriko) Jeriko, how many times do I have to tell you, no RPG's.
Jeriko: Aw, Storm, we might run into something I can blow up...maybe a bus full of New Orleans refugees.
Storm: We're robbing the place, not committing atrocities.
Jeriko: Aw, Storm...
Storm: NO RPG's.
Miss Manners: Problem, sir?
Storm: No, just that we're about to crash.
Miss Manners: He was missin' that box of diapers. Don't worry, sir, my man can land anything...hey, Jeriko, is that an RPG?
Jeriko: Yeah, Storm don't want me taking it along, goddamn liberals are ruining...(fades into a mutter as Storm walks back to the engine room)
Storm: Summerteeth! What the hell is wrong with my ship?
Summerteeth: Not a thing to worry about, Captain. Everything's as bloody good as bangers and mash.
Storm (tries to sort that out): Uh, right...but if we crash, it's your fault! (turns, sees Borgs standing behind him) Hi, Borgs...nothing to worry about, 'cept if Techman pees his britches, that might strain the laundry some...
Borgs: This isn't disgust. It's anger.
Storm: Kind of hard to tell, you being British and all.
Borgs: If it was disgust I'd be vomiting.
Storm: I'll remember that.
Borgs: You're not taking her.
Storm: Taking who?
Borgs: My sister.
Storm: Oh, her...look, Borgs, we discussed this...you're guests on my boat, I've taken you in because you ticked off the government and quite a few people over on TBBS (continues for five minutes of additional exposition)...anyhoo, she's got so many piercings she'll distract the metal detectors.
Borgs: She's a young girl! And she's psychic, and all you can think of is how to use her to fool a metal detector?
Storm: That's of use to me.
Borgs: You're not taking her and that's final!
Storm: If I ever here you say that's final again...well, it'll be the final final time you ever say final.
Borgs: That doesn't make sense.
Storm: But I mean it. (stalks off)
Borgs (sighs, climbs up ladder, to wear Miniborgs is hanging from the rafters): Mini, it's time...
Miniborgs: I know...we're going for a ride...(grins satanically)

TO BE CONTINUED

Woosh!

Off to Media Central.

Well, I'd send it to the Workshop, but it would die a lonely death.

This is worthless without Vulcans and Klingons.

How am I not one of the crew? Can I be Simon? Or book?

I bet I'm the vault officer negotiating where he gets shot.

EDIT: And where is "Wordforge VI: The Undiscovered Caht"?

Baba must be in it.

Didn't see me...fuck the baba he's a twat.

I doubt miss manners would call me or any other man "sir."

Why is this in the Red Room?

Fuck you tmm3k!





There. Happy?

It belongs in the Workshop.

Oh, fuck off you underaged piece of crap!!

There's already a psychic Lost cast member - Walt. He somehow communes with animals.

POTN, you know you gotta make me Jayne!

whooosh