Wordforge: Serenity! Part 7

(Cut to: Storm talking to Tamar)
Storm: So, we've got some really juicy video for you, and we want you to upload it over the Net.
Tamar: Sure, just upload it to me.
Storm: No can do.
Tamar: Why?
Storm: Because I'm on a Mac, which forces me to make a suicidal run to get the DVD to you by hand.
Tamar: Figures. Okay, but can you give me a hint what this is all about?
Storm: Let's just say Parallaxis ain't going to collect on his bet.
Tamar: Oooh! This ought to be good. I'll see you in a little while then.
Storm: And not a word of this to anyone, okay?
Tamar: Nothing in the 'verse could make me betray you. See you soon!
(Tamar switches off and we see that she is surrounded by Mewa and a whole bunch of Voyager fans)
Tamar: Okay. So where's that Mal Reynolds action figure you promised me in exchange for betraying Storm?
(Mewa takes out rubber Parallaxis suit, puts it on)
Tamar:
(Cut to: the ship's break room. Our heroes are sitting around, looking depressed. There are bottles of Coors and Burger King boxes scattered about in a cleverly-disguised product placement effort)

Storm: Y'all got on this board for different reasons...
Caelia: Actually, we all got thrown off TBBS...(Storm glares)...er. Sense. Stop making. Got it.
Storm: Anyways...so now I'm going to ask you for more than you've ever given before...
Summerteeth: I'm not doing another Playboy Centerfold caper...
Storm (glares): No, this time I'm asking for even more than that...
Borgs: More than scraping the bugs off the windshield?
Jeriko: More than taking those space hippies to that Eden planet without killin' 'em?
Miss Manners: More than cleaning out those little furry ball critters that ate our quatrotriticale shipment?
Techman: (puffs on pipe, smiles happily, listening to bongo music on his Ipod)
Storm: Gorram it...more than any of that! Now, these people here...the folks on Cassandra...nobody knows what happened to 'em. We're gonna make sure the whole universe knows what happened here. 'Cause the gub'mint thinks they can control us. Make us watch reality shows. Make us fall in love with shows and cancel 'em. Make us vote for Texans. (Caelia starts to speak; Storm glares at her again and she stops). Well, I'm tired of watchin'...and votin'...and tired of reality. As sure as anything I know this...I aim to do somethin' implausible.
Jeriko (takes swig of Coors, makes face, throws the bottle at Borgs, who ducks in the nick of time): Shepherd taught me that if you can't make a rational point, start flamin' and hope you hit somethin'.
Borgs (wipes beer off his face): Do we have a plan?
Storm: We're going to make a run right for Mrs. Universe. Get her the DVD and let her pirate it.
Miss Manners: Sir...it's a sure thing the Flyswatters will know we're coming. They'll be waiting for us.
Storm: No...they won't see THIS coming.

(Cut to: Space, where the Wordforge Serenity is moving cautiously through the Shipper fleet. We see Storm suited up and standing on the hull, carrying a piece of cardboard. We see a Shipper VW van, pimped out to look like an "Enterprise" shuttlepod, slowly approaching)

Storm: Techman, are we almost through?
Techman: Actually, I have another bag of this green stuff for the pipe...
Storm: No, I mean, are we almost past the Shippers?
Techman: Uh...sure, baby. Right on. Totally.
(Storm flips over cardboard and holds it high. We see written on it, in bright red flourescent paint: ANNA YOLEI RULEZ! Instantly, the entire Shipper fleet wakes up, to the sound of angry fangirls)
Storm: Get us out of here!
(The ship zooms off, pursued by the Shipper fleet)

Cut To: the orbit of Mrs. Universe's planet. The Flyswatter warships are arrayed about.

Spock's Tricorder: Sir, we're getting a reading in the cloud.
Lt. Mewa: Excellent. (Looks at window) We should have worked something out, Captain Rucker. We should have settled this like Trekkies. All weapons, prepare to fire.
(Wordforge Serenity appears out of the cloud. Then we see a horde of Shipper 'ships in pursuit)
Mewa: Fuck.
Spock's Tricorder:
Gul:
Eccentric:
Mewa: Somebody shoot! Shoot them all! For the love of the New York Yankees, SHOOT!

(Both fleets open fire. We see the Wordforge Serenity duck, dodge and evade like Kirk1Adm trying to escape Garamet)

Storm: No!
Techman: Yes!
Storm: No!
Techman: Yes!
Storm: No, the M-16 is NOT better than the AK-47! (grabs console as Techman, wearing a slightly glazed look, puts the ship into an inverted loop) By the way, are you okay to drive?
Techman: I'm leaf in the pipe!

(The ship zooms towards the atmosphere. We see a Shipper 'ship in pursuit, as the rest of the fleets blow each other to bits)

Techman: I'm leaf in the pipe! (chortles happily)
Storm: What the hell does that mean?

(Shipper 'ship opens fire. Wordforge Serenity tilts crazily, starts to tumble towards the ground)
Miss Manners: We've been hit by a bad plot!
Techman: I'm a leaf in the pipe...watch how I burn!
Storm: Everybody! Strap in! Prepare for a completely unnecessary character death!

(Ship bounces on runway, loses landing gear, headlights, signal lights and horn. As it slides down the runway we see a license plate spin madly on the pavement. Then the ship slides through the Video Rental Return box and comes to a stop atop a couple of homeless people. Inside, the crew blinks as the emergency lights come on)

Techman: Wow man. (takes another puff from pipe, holds his breath for a minute). I'm a leaf in the pipe. Watch how I...

(Techman is impaled by a large lance, inscribed with: Watch the Crusades, Coming Up on the History Channel!)

Storm:
Audience: GASP!
(Whedon and Phantom give each other a high-five)
Miss Manners: Baby! (grabs corpse, starts kissing it)
Storm: No time for that! (mutters) besides, it's disgusting. (Ducks as another lance comes flying through the window. This one says, We SAID, Watch The Crusades On The History Channel, Or You'll Get Impaled Like The Old Fart!) We gotta go!

TO BE CONCLUDED

even the n00b got a line...

do you make a point of ignoring me?






oh, and, fun stuff

wait...where did I miss the part about the centerfold?

A leaf on the pipe! AWESOME!

Bwahahaha! :rofl3:

Quite amusing. Although I thought my treatment of the AA gun scene was better. :sulk: