Wordforge: Serenity! Part III

Cut to: The dark, oil-encrusted world of Beaumont. We see hovercars, lots of Bush Loves You posters, and loud women in cheerleader burkhas flirting with lots of refugees from the movie Urban Cowboy. Garth Brooks music is heard everywhere as the ship is caught in a docking clamp and hauled into a docking space.

Summerteeth (wiping off one of Miniborg's larger earrings): She's too metallic...doesn't help she's got to be wearing so much bloody metal. She sticks out in the dark.
Borgs:
Summerteeth: Now remember...never talk to the Oklahomans...talk to the owners, the Texans. Know who you're dealing with. And stay away from the threads started by Arkansans, they get blown right out of the sky.
Borgs: Summerteeth, I...
Summerteeth: No, really, don't say anything...
Borgs: But I wanted to say something to you, about us....
Summerteeth: No, really, that's okay...(walks off hurriedly into the crowd)
Borgs (sighs): Do you want to stay with them, Mini?
Miniborg: This city is not safe.
Borgs: No, I guess nowhere is safe now.
Miniborg (softly): From me. :devilpop:

Cut To: A seedy underground bar
Summerteeth: I still can't believe you just kicked them off the ship.
Storm: I didn't kick them off, they decided to leave all on their lonesome.
Summerteeth: And to think I got so hooked on his cooking! Except for some things...I haven't had a good banger in me in over a year now.
Storm: Er...did I want to hear that?
Jeriko: Hell, let her go on, she's on a roll.
Storm: Look, Summerteeth, just forget him. I mean, once they're gone, we won't even have nightmares about him anymore.
Summerteeth: Why do you wake up screaming "Caelia" then?
Storm:
Polarslam:Family troubles?
Prufrock: Yeah, family troubles?
Storm: Polarslam, Prufrock.
Polarslam: I'm Prufrock
Prufrock: I'm Polarslam
Storm: No, you're Polarslam, he's Prufrock.
Prufrock: How can you tell us apart?
Storm: Polarslam's gayer.
Polarslam:
Prufrock:
(They sit down, order drinks. Storm kicks a back under the table towards Prufrock and Polarslam)
Polarslam: Now then, let's rediscuss our cut.
Prufrock: Yeah, our cut. Forty percent.
Jeriko: Forty percent my white American buttocks!
Polarslam:
Jeriko: The deal was you'd take sixty percent and we'd get forty percent!
Storm: Uh...J...
Jeriko: He's trying to bust the deal, Storm. No damn way this Canadian is gonna give us sixty percent and walk away with only forty percent!
Storm:
(Meanwhile, Miniborg walks into the bar. She wanders around, looking at people, then finds herself entranced by the TV over the bar.)
TV: Next, on a new episode of Enterprise...the Borg and the Ferengi show up and inflict further mayhem on continuity freaks...
Miniborg (stares raptly, then says softly): Cassandra.
(Miniborg turns, steps out of her brown coat, walks over to where a couple of Halliburton employees are playing poker. She smashes the table, then smashes them. Screams ensue)
Storm (looks, sees Mini rip the arm off a Young Republican and starts beating a John Bircher with it): Jeriko...
Jeriko: A fight! Where's the other chick? And the jello?
(Storm rushes up the stairs towards the gun rack. Jeriko rushes over to Miniborg and grabs her. She struggles)
Jeriko: Darn it, girl, I just wanna tip ya...
(Miniborg does various unspeakable and painful things to Jeriko...this might be edited out later to preserve the film's NC-17 rating)
Jeriko: Urk. (falls to floor)
(Miniborg grabs a chicken, bites the head off, spits head at Bush aide, who is killed by the impact. She then pries a gun from the cold, dead fingers of a fallen NRA activist, just as Storm grabs his own gun from the locker. They aim guns at each other)
Storm:
Miniborg:
Borg: Appeasement!
(Miniborg goes to sleep. Storm goes again, then comes down and shakes Jeriko awake, then picks up Miniborg. They all leave, quickly)

Cut to: The ship. Storm slams Borg down on the table.
Storm: She got the drop on me! On ME!
Borg: I wasn't expecting that. They told me she was dangerous, but...whatchugonnado?
Storm: She could have endangered everybody here. Eight months! She was here eight months!
Borgs: Six, actually. I thought the word appease....
Jeriko: DON'T SAY IT!
Miss Manners: It only works on Europeans.
Storm: I'm still wondering, though...what's gonna happen when she wakes up? Is she going to be the deranged girl, or the psycho girl?
Borgs:
Jeriko: What I wanna know is, how come we ain't killed her yet?
Miss Manners: probably because she'd kick our collective butts?
Techman: May I make a suggestion? One that doesn't involve our asses being kicked? (looks at Storm) I think we need some help here.
Storm: You don't mean...
Techman: I do mean. I think it's time we called Missus Universe.

TO BE CONTINUED

You know, I feel really hurt I'm not in this.

Yet...

*Notices he isn't in it, sets fire to phantoms hat*

Ok, I've never clicked one of these Serenity's... what the hell is this?

Serenity -- parody fic.

That I'm not in.

Which fact is mildly upsettin' to the ladies on the board here.

Welcome to my world...

See...when you hint with your user-name, it's bound to come in handy....

Ok, phantomofthenet is known around these parts for writing parody stories of shows or movies, replacing the characters in the real story with their Wordforge counterparts.

His last work before this was doing the Star Trek series, I got to be Chief Engineer!

Me too. It makes me cry on the inside .
~Kyle

Everything makes you cry on the inside. So stfu already or I'll drop you on my ignore list as well. Damnit.
Now where's the coffee?

That's one of the great things about being staff, you can't ignore me