Wordforge VI: The Undiscovered Forum, Part II!

Personal Blog, Stardate 0508.15. I've never trusted TBBS'ers. And I never will. I can never forgive them for the gratitude I feel towards them after they killed my boy. * In my opinion, this peace conference is problematic, not to mention how many shitstorms will develop at the Help Desk as a result...
Door: Beep!
Elwood: (looks up from blog) Come in.
Lt. Yolei: I brought your luggage, sir.
Elwood: Thank you, Lieutenant. Set it down over there.
Lt. Yolei (drops off case of Mt. Dew, several cartons of cigarettes, and a bundle of back issues of Southern Babes Magazine **.) Sir, may I speak candidly?
Elwood: I always get a bad feeling when someone asks me that.
Lt. Yolei: I just wanted to say sir, that I think this peace conference is problematic and that many shitstorms will develop in the Help Desk as a result.
Elwood: Er...yes, Lieutenant. Is that all?
Lt. Yolei: No sir. I just wanted to plant the obvious plot foreshadowing before I informed you that the TBBS'ers are about to rendezvous with us.
Elwood: Er...thanks, I guess, Lieutenant.

(On the Bridge)
Cassandra: TBBS Battlecruiser on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow...
Nick: Scrape them off, Captain?
Elwood: (shakes head)
Dr. Albert: Want a tranquilizer, E?
Elwood: (shakes head)
Diacanu: Raise shields, sir?
Elwood: Negative.
Diacanu: Distribute condoms?
Elwood: I've never been this close before.
TheLurker: We're being hailed, sir.
Elwood: On screen.
(Chancellor Sparforth appears on screen)
Elwood: (coughs) Uh, on behalf of Wordforge, I extend you greetings.
Sparforth: Whatever.
Elwood: We will be your escort to the peace conference.
Sparforth: Uh huh.
Elwood: ...and we invite you to be our guests for dinner tonight aboard our ship.
Sparforth: M'kay. (screen cuts off)
Elwood: Uh...Cassandra, uh, have some dinner laid out in the Party Lounge.
Cassandra: Aye, sir.
Uncle Albert: I'll bring the brownies.

(Transporter Room, TBBS'ers beam in)
Elwood: Chancellor Sparforth, welcome aboard.
Sparforth: Ja, ja. (waves hand dismissively) You know my administrator, T'Bonz...my aides, Neroon and J'Kladis, and our military commander, Enterpriser.
Elwood:
Nick:
Cassandra:
Diacanu:
Enterpriser: My dear Elwood. I have so longed to meet you.
Elwood: I thought...you had been...
Enterpriser: Banned? "Once more unto the breach, dear friend."
Sparforth: We brought General Enterpriser out of retirement for these negotiations.
Elwood: Er...I see. (glances sternly at Diacanu, who stops vomiting with an effort.)
Enterpriser:

(At dinner)
Nick: Yum. Good browniesh, Dr. McAlbert.
UA: Thanks.
Sparforth: This is an excellent liqour as well, Captain. What is it?
Elwood: It's called White Lightning, Chancellor.
Enterpriser: Isn't that illegal, Captain?
Elwood: One of the privileges of running your own board is being able to set your own rules.
T'Bonz: Listen to yourselves. "Own" and "Rules".
Neroon: Everyone knows that Wordforge is a club only for your sycophants, Captain.
UA: The hell it is!
Enterpriser: "To be, or not to be," Captain. That is the question that faces us, as you can see.
Elwood: Er...I don't, actually.
Cassandra: (looks worried, raises glass) To Chancellor Sparforth, the architect of this new era!
(nobody drinks)
Cassandra:
Enterpriser: As you are aware, Captain, our people face a new future, one where trolls will be dealt with differently...and of course, we can always use more bandwidth.
Elwood: Earth. Borgs. 2004.
(dead silence)
Enterpriser: I beg your pardon, Captain?
TheLurker: Er...tell me, do you still have Firefly discussions over at...(stops as she sees Neroon eat a live canary)
Enterpriser: Ah, you haven't lived until you've discussed Firefly in the original Sci-Fi and Fantasy Forum.
Diacanu: Ours is just as good!
Enterpriser: I doubt that.
Diacanu:

(Back in Transporter Room)
Elwood: Thank you for coming. That was enlightening.
Sparforth: Ja. I shall have heartburn all night.
Enterpriser: Ah, Captain...it will not be an easy road. How did your great Bard put it? "They will decide that they will have to live under their rule, and there will be some disagreement on that point?"
Elwood: Riiiiight.
(TBBS'ers beam out)
UA: Boy, that was pretty fucked up.
Cassandra: We did not exactly present ourselves in a flattering way.
Diacanu: Did you notice how they SMELLED?
TheLurker: That was you, Dicky.
Diacanu: Oh.
UA: I'm going to find me some more brownies.
Elwood: I'm going to bed...let me know if there's any more Help Desk Threads we can inadvertently start tonight...

(TO BE CONTINUED)
* Elwood's son, Baba, was killed way back in Wordforge III: The Search For Cass
** Featuring "Tattooed Biker Whores of Green Bow", on sale at porn shops everywhere.

Huzza! A new Episode! Not that I understand it, of course, but it's still fun to read.

Enterpriser?

Part III?