Writing your own performance review

Daughter had her mini-evaluation today. To remind people, she is bloody good at her job, but since the first flush of enthusiasm at being in the workplace has worn off, it turns out she is crap at what she rightly describes as 'corporate bullshitery'.
Her boss: 'Well, at least you haven't called me a wanker this month.'
Daughter: 'It's only the 14th...'

 

Just keep in mind that you get the same raise no matter what you write there and whether or not you achieved anything.

Start with what I wrote above... "I was a key contributor to the blah blah blah..."

 

Businessspeak just sound inhuman to me! It's like children trying to sound important. Sadly, being under the HR department, my boss lives by it and expects it of us. But my mind just doesn't WORK like that!

 

Just write this (from Dilbert): I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable levels of productivity.