What, are Christians celebrating the birth of Jesus X? I demand a photoshop of Jesus wearing faggoty-ass hipster glasses and a dashiki!
No, not really. Eat a bag of x. I don't give a shit about any religious tie-in, but it's fucking Christmas. It ain't fuckin' Xmas. It ain't fuckin' Big-O Tiresmas. It ain't fuckin' Hitchensmas or Darwinmas or Dawkinsmas. It's fuckin' Christmas, and you can like it or lump it.
I am now convinced that a 24 hour period without outrage would have much the same effect on John Castle as sunlight on Christopher Lee Dracula.
Convince yourself of whatever you want, tightassed fuckholes restraining themselves from going all Asperger's and taking the joy out of the holiday season would be just fine with me.
It's not outrage, and it's not insanity. He's convinced that someone fucking cares to read his every idle thought because he fancies himself a writer.
I mean Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. You think there's another word that encapsulates all three holidays, let's hear it.
Oddly enough, the people who pay me to write and then praise the results fancy me a writer, too. What have you got to show for yourself other than a handful of Travelocity commercials?
I submit this as the basis of the new secular/science nativity. Bow before the power of God-Jesus. *God-Jesus fires lasers from eyes* Now...you..will....see...the...light.
You give and get presents on Thanksgiving and New Year? You set off fireworks on Thanksgiving? You sing "Auld Lang Syne" on Christmas? Not interchangeable. Not generic. I mean, if you personally don't like American holiday traditions, that's your deal. Doesn't make them irrelevant to anybody else. Maybe you and Uncle Albert should put on your big boy pants, suck in them quivering lower lips, dry them watery eyes and learn to deal.
I do care. Christmas brings joy to people. Yeah, it's by way of a made-up bullshit sky-fairy based bastardization of pagan rituals, and maybe only a percentage of people get real joy out of it, and maybe once a year is all they've got, but it's nobody's business to go around shitting on it. If it isn't for you? Fantastic. Congratulations, you're too big for fun. Take your lemon-sucking sour-faced ass off to the place where you're comfortable and hang out there, nobody's making you celebrate a god damned thing. There's enough horrible shit going on in the world, they're all going to come face to face with it as adults, let the kids have this one. The world doesn't have to suck just a decade earlier for kids because you grew up and got a dose of lemon juice up your fuckin' urethra. You jackwagons who pull this "xmas" bullshit are like bullies on the beach kicking over sandcastles. That's it. That's all. Fuck you dicks, leave them kids alone.
So "Christmas" brings joy to people, but "Xmas" is a big wet blanket. Which means the most important part of Christmas, to you, is Christ. And you still claim to not be a Christian. Could it be you've gotten lost in your own troll?
The most important part of Christmas is Christmas. If it'd been Volvomas, the most important part of it would be Volvomas. As in, not neutering it to pacify wet blankets like you.
I'd say the most exciting part of Christmas to children is the presents. You could call it Jolly-Red-Suit-Man-But-There's-No-God-Mas and they'd love it just the same.
Yeah, that explains the Santa-letter-writing and caroling and all the other shit. Because kids do that for their birthdays, too.
