Yeah! I'm getting my medical "procedure" soon!

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by oldfella1962, Feb 9, 2016.

  1. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Finally the doctors can get to the bottom of why I have blood in my urine. I have an appointment date. I will however miss some work because between the numbing from the local anasthetic and the drugs, I need an "escort" (no, not that kind of escort!) because I'll be in no condition to drive home. The hospital says normally folks need a few days off! :brood: Sorry, I'm out of "sick leave" days so missing work isn't going to happen. Regardless, I lost all the literature they gave me about the procedure - or maybe I never received any. I have memory loss so who knows? Whatever it is must be pretty involved but they aren't cutting me open. :calli: Why would I be incapacitated for that long?
    Whatever, blood in the urine (even tiny amounts) isn't normal so it will be nice to find out why I have it.
    I do urinate about two dozen times a day, which might be a "red flag" too.
  2. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    That doesn't sound good.
  3. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    When was the last time you had sex with a Thai prostitute?
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  4. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    This is why other countries have universal health programs in place. No need for sick days or worrying about time off for what will undoubtedly be an invasive procedure :clyde:

    Regardless, I wish you all the best tomorrow. :mrsa:
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  5. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    How can you be "out" of sick days when it's only February? Did you miss a lot of time last month or something? :huh:
  6. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    It's probably a candiru fish. They swim up people's urethras.

  7. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    If he works for a federal job, they most likely follow a fiscal year calendar that began in October.
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  8. shootER

    shootER Insubordinate...and churlish Administrator

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    Thanks. I forgot about that.
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  9. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    Shit dude, sorry to hear that. Hope everything turns good for you.
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  10. Quincunx

    Quincunx anti-anti Staff Member Administrator

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    Guess he pissed them away. :diacanu:
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  11. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    Good luck bro, hope it's not too serious.
  12. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    That's fucked up. Funny, but fucked up.
  13. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Let me think now. Probably about YES! Right there, perfect....oh yeah...ummmmm yeah five seconds ago.
    DAMMIT! I forgot to check for an Adam's apple again.
  14. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    I used a lot of them driving my wife to her medical appointments because she had cataracts and couldn't drive. That and my car repairs. The dealership ferries you around but you still have to work within their hours. No public transportation where I live unfortunately.
  15. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    I can't imagine running out of sick days. I take so few, I pretty much always have the max allowable accrual in my balance.

    Just the same, @oldfella1962, take an extra unpaid day if you have to -- health is no joke. Best of luck for a quick recovery!
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  16. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    @oldfella1962 That sounds an awful like a kidney stone. Have they ruled it out?
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  17. El Chup

    El Chup Fuck Trump Deceased Member Git

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    Sounds like prostate issues to be, with the frequent urination. My old man had the same when he had prostate cancer (which, if caught early, is nothing to worry about).
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  18. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    Procedure is probably going to involve catheterization, and yes, you want some drugs for that. :eek:
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  19. TheLonelySquire

    TheLonelySquire Fresh Meat

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    I wish you the best. Hopefully nothing too serious.
  20. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    As others have said, this sounds like prostate trouble. By now you're probably out of the OR and on happy drugs, but hope all went well and that the docs told you 90%+ of prostate problems are age-related and not cancer.

    Good luck! :mrsa:
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  21. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    I'm still betting it's one of those urethra seeking catfish from the Amazon and Orinoco river basins.
  22. Inútil

    Inútil Fresh Meat

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    Best of luck Oldfella. :)
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  23. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    When a urologist first pitched the "catheterization" he acted like it was no big deal, very routine. Like getting "the rod" for VD or whatever. But the scheduling lady told me I'd need an escort because it is indeed a big deal.
    Maybe not just the catheter/camera but the whole procedure involving who knows what! Anyway the CT scan didn't pick up kidney stones or prostate problems, so that's good. Plus I never get up during sleeping to urinate, so that's good too. But it better be pretty damned painful to keep me home. This reminds me of a funny/pathetic story about the last time I had people doing doctor stuff below my belt! :storm:

    About 20 years ago I had a vasectomy, right here at Fort Gordon matter-of-fact. They gave me a medical "profile" for light duty and "PT at my own pace for two weeks." That said, I had a PT test scheduled in few days. Of course I could postpone it - PT is strenuous enough, but going balls-to-the-wall (no pun intended) would be insane!
    But the plot thickens - I was in the "high scoring" category of soldiers. If you score above 270 out of 300, you are exempt from doing PT in the morning. You do PT on your own. That's a strong motivator! However your exemption only lasts for six months, until your next test. If you don't score a 270 you go back to doing PT with the rest of the shlubs at "Zero Dark Thirty" every day. :brood: And my dick of a First Sergeant would not give me my own separate PT test once I was ready. If I didn't take one with the rest of the unit in a few days and score a 270, I would be back doing morning PT until the next scheduled test. :brood:

    So of course I took the PT test. I would not give up my elite status! :shakefist: The pushups, no problem - it's over in two minutes. I keep my core tight and it should be no big deal. Same thing with the situps, my easiest event.
    But the run was two miles of jarring, up and down motion on an asphalt track. :unsure:

    Amazingly I scored above 270 and with the adrenaline still flowing, I felt great. :techman:
    The next morning, not so much. :weep:Someone had detonated a nuclear bomb in my groin! And it was the day I had to fill a cup with my baby batter "sample" and take it to the hospital to make sure no sperm were getting through. I powered through (without the internet of course!) but with one problem - there was blood all in my johnson juice! :whoa: I'm no medical expert, but my gut feeling was that this is not normal. :chris:Even the medical staff said "dude! You ejaculated blood!" which pretty much confirmed my suspicions. Also the pain was starting to get unbearable. :drama: Turns out taking a PT test at 100 percent effort was (spoiler alert) not the smart play. I had "epididymitis" which is inflammation of the tubes all running around near your nuts and whatnot.
    You don't think about these tubes much, you kind of take them for granted until they catch on fire! :brood:
    So they gave me Tylenol 3 with codine and I had to teach class (I was an instructor) in pain for the next few days. :facepalm:
  24. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    The joys of military life that civilians never hear about . . . :garamet:
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  25. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Now in that very same company (the original members having long since retired) there is no "incentive program". :( They do the roll around in the wet grass at 5:30 AM PT even if they have a perfect score. I'm so glad I'm retired and exercise when I want to - and am in better shape than the day I retired out of the army! :lol:
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  26. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    Dunno about the other branches, but group PT in the Navy was a joke, and little more than a check in the box for the Captain to show his bosses in case there were too many weight failures. :jayzus:
  27. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    In the Army it varied from unit-to-unit and location-to-location. It's mainly for the benefit of soldiers getting promoted - the higher your score, the more promotion points. That said the soldiers who are really trying to improve their score are better served doing PT on their own, especially the NCO's trying to get a better score. After you've been in a few years, you really know your body and what it needs best. Case in point at Fort Rucker we had a ton of rotations to Bosnia in small groups at a time, maybe three or four people. Every-single-soldier improved by doing PT on their own or under the guidance of one or two NCO's. Their scores before the rotation (doing mandatory by-the-book PT) and after the rotation doing effective focused PT showed a marked improvement in PT score and lower body fat level.
  28. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    That's a fair system, IMO. In the Navy, there's no anything for exceeding the requirements in most rating communities besides bragging rights. Leadership has been pushing for extra points for excellent scores on the exam and with all the other changes to our advancement, maybe this will become a thing, too.