Do you get ashy in the winter?

So you white guys never kept lotion in your gym locker?

No. I take it this is common?

Do you know what the starting line up of an NBA team would look like WITHOUT lotion???

Not a pretty sight.

Except for that 9 feet tall Chinese dude.

My skin gets dry though. I use that cow stuff - the stuff for cow tits, to keep my knuckles from cracking.

I used to catch shit cause friends would come over my house back in the day and see the bottle of lotion next to my bed and assume I used it to masturbate.

Asian people get ashy too. Depends on how dark they are. I get it a bit on my arms sometimes.

I actually get more pale and white.

More white.

How come you don't use the human lotion?

No, I get eczema.

On my hands. They get dry and crack and bleed. It fucking hurts.

Thanks the gods for real oatmeal soap and Noxema.

Most lotions, just make it worse. So do most hand soaps. Something in them I guess...a common ingredient. But I keep Noxema at my house, and in my car, and Yardley oatmeal soap (THANK YOU Walgreens!!!) at my house and my ex's.

This stuff is sold at Walmart. It was originally designed for cow tits though back in the 30's in Wisconsin. Cow tits get rough handled from the cold and dirty, dirty, dirty man hands and milk machines.

If it's good enough to keep a cows tits in commission, it's good enough for my hands.

Actually, it from severely dry skin... I'm at my most ashy state right after showering... I have to lubricate myself from head to toe just about.

Watching you guys try to figure out what "ashy" is was one of the most hilarious things I've seen in a while...

Ya liked that, huh?!

Exfoliate before you lubricate. Try a loofah, or some apricot scrub. If you remove the dead cells first, the lotion absorbs better.

I never get ashy. I'm the same damn shade of pink all year round.

METROSEXUAL talk?

And here I thought garamet was white.

Uncle Albert agrees!

Nobody's actually white, like nobody's actually black. Most people are just different shades of beige to brown.

Except us soulless gingers. We really are *pink*. Sigh...

Well, he does have a predilection to very big asses.

What solves it for me is a fresh shower every morning and lotion with aloe vera.

Lotion is for women. That is all.

Not those Oreo cookie colored people in Star Trek.

They were white and black.

Or they probably should. I don't use lotion regularly and am ashy as hell.

Its nice of your ex to still care about your skin. I guess the occassional booty call requires a soft feel.

Bill O'Reilly agrees!

You bet your ass it does.

I got a big bottle of Intensive Care with Aloe in my desk drawer.
You are not alone, my brother.

Real men enjoy psoriasis!

My mother taught us to do the sign of the cross on our face with Pond's lotions.

Forehead, cheek, chin then other cheek.