You can rehearse and use all the comebacks you want. If a bully doesn't like you, he doesn't like you, period, and will pick on you/harm you. I'm not really seeing how they're bringing anything new to this table.
If they'd let the scouts take their knives and/or guns to school, this stuff wouldn't be a problem at all.
A person who is being bullied is in fear of the bully. He is unable to just punch the mug in the face and take him on. I wonder if I had gotten the coaching, would I have been able to bash that bully that was 2 yrs older and a half a foot taller than me? I don't know, but that's what it will take. If I could go back in time, some of those bastards would not have gotten out the second word. Bang! Zoom! Yeah, that's me now. Not when I was a short 5th grader. Most just can't or won't stand up because it isn't in them. Yet. Not much you can do about them cracking jokes. You crack a joke back that makes the bully look like an asshole and he just pounds you. I found that associations with other tough or big guys can help. But the un-cool doofus can;t just flick a switch and get cool. So if you have a pussy ass kid that dresses funny, its partially your fault. Get that kid in the proper gear and show him how to not be a putz!
But kids can't "punch a mug in the face" these days. With the school "zero tolerance" ideas the boy scout will get in trouble along with the bully. And the bully is smart enough to mess with the boy scout without it being actual punching, so the school can't do anything to the bully on the boy scout's say-so alone. Basically a camera or teacher has to catch the bully in the act. It's always rough being a kid, but when you can't defend yourself by "fighting back" it makes it rougher. So now picked on kids bottle it up inside until they fatally snap.
Typically the scouts who've made it up a few ranks are getting pretty self-sufficient. BUT, if they do band together you're going to have to some kids bullies would be smart to leave alone.
Any time I fought back agin a bully, teachers only ever saw my action, so I was the one who got in trouble.
We don;t have any of that zero-tolerance stuff over here. Since pre-k, I taught my daughter to handle idiots that bother her. One time in 5th grade she put this boys head in a garbage can. The boy told on her thinking that only she would get in trouble. They both got called to the office. I went down to the school and told them straight up that any boy that bother my daughter is gonna get their ass kicked. Its that or protect my daughter, Mr. Principal. Not one situation has occured with her since 7th grade and she is in 11th grade now. But that zero-tolerance stuff is bunk. If a kid is being bullied, the parent needs to go the school and identify the bully. They the school that if he continues to bully your child you will hold the school and that kids parents at fault and that it will lead to legal if not criminal court action. I did it when I was in HS and was the lone black student. I told the principal that I didn't feel safe cuz there were numerous racist students. After that conversation, people were holding doors for me. It helped that some of the bad guys were on teams and were told that if they bother me they will be off the team. I didn't have one fight and went on to be a bit popular.
Same here. But on top of it, the motherfuckers SAW what the bullies were doing. I quickly figured out there was some kind of twisted pecking order being set up from primary school upward, and I was being punished for violating it. So, next time I got punished for defending myself, I was like "screw you, it was worth it". Rode out my punishment sweatlessly, and the bullies left me alone. Public school is a cesspit.
A few basic self-defense skills will be immensely wiser and more useful for dealing with bullies than any of this pacifistic, warm fuzzy bullshit.
Unless modern bullies are suddenly kung-fu masters, what more do you need than just keep out of their reach, wait for an opening, and sucker punch 'em? That's all I did.
Responding to physical violence and intimidation with anything other than proportional violence and intimidation. Trying to talk your way out of a bully's cross-hairs. What I will teach any children I may have is pretty simple: Never start a dust-up, but always finish it, and never believe anyone who says you have no right to defend yourself. After that, it's a matter of specific technique. But no child of mine will EVER be expected to passively accept being pushed around or beat up just to comply with some dumb shit "zero tolerance" policy.
There was this boy bothering my daughter so I called his father to discuss it. The same kid she put in the garbage can. The father wasn't aware of this. So I tell the father.."I don't know what kinda punk kid you got but if he doesn't want to end up in a garbage can again, tell him to stop bothering my kid." The kid chilled out. Another kid I told that I would punch his lights out. He told the principal and I said ' wow, that kid sure has some imagination. I never said that.'
I imagine boys would not want the help from the parents. Or fathers not wanting to step in for their son. I say, protect the kid. Work with the kid like its a team effort.
It's a big thing about parenthood that concerns me, though. I can easily see myself fighting a losing battle with the entire faculty, school board, and maybe the local PD, because I refuse to ask my child to passively tolerate physical bullying to avoid injuring the poor little darling who pushes her around. I mean, what do you envision the reaction would be to a parent who sat down in the principal's office and told him "If my child is attacked, she will defend herself. If you want to prevent that, you will have to prevent the attack, period."
I expect them to go the extra mile. Talk to the bully. Talk to the bullys parents. Maybe even kick the bully out of the school. Many parents don't stand up so its eazy for the faculty to roll a kid over. My stuff was minor. I worked more on having a kid that DOESN'T get bullied. The kid that is the victim of a bully has other things going on. Some in his head, some at home. the parents should help with his general confidence. They should also embrace his friends. The kid that is the victim of a bully is all alone.
Nobody deserves to be bullied, and nobody should have to alter themselves in the slightest just to discourage it.
That's for sure. I found out my kid had a habit of making other kids look stupid. Intelligent zingers in the lunchroom. Verbally, she's a Mike Tyson.
Here's the catch, at least for me. Especially considering that my nine year old boy will begin his training this summer. In response to an actual assault, when acting in defense of himself or a third person, he'll always have me supporting him. He'd better not start it, but he damn well better end it. If nothing else, I'll have printed copies of the Code of Alabama talking about the in inherit human right and legal justification for defending yourself against a physical attack, regardless of whatever policies may or may not exist at the school. In response to name calling, well, he needs to learn that there are assholes everywhere and that this will not be the last time that it will happen during his lifetime. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me unless I let them, is a fundamental truth that everyone should learn. That's training for life as an adult that's just as valuable as any curriculum the school may offer.
And I will come down on them hard when they're in the wrong. But I absolutely fucking refuse to corrupt any child of mine with the diseased mentality of submission and conformity to prevent something that should not be happening anyway. They will not grow up believing it's more enlightened to let bullies dictate who you are and how you act than it is to stand up for yourself.
No. I'd hope that kids would learn some self-discipline along with the skills they pick up there, though.
It's a very fine line and I wish you all the best. Just don't let your little angels pull the wool over your eyes.
Dad was a tough guy, he thought it was up to me to learn it on-the-job like he did. His fights usually ended with the other guy unconscious or dead, mine usually ended with me bloody and the other guy laughing.
