In all seriousness, that's what I would prefer to do. We just can't think of anything that would make sense.
Why does that make me crazy? It's like the perfect solution! We would only choose a name that sounded normal and that meant something to us... Not something dumb like Logan 5. It would mean he and I would have the same last name (team name) and neither of us would have to "take" the name of the other. It's the ideal solution IMHO. You are stuck in your old ways, old man.
I like that idea. A lot. Actually, I think I'll sleep over it and perhaps have a talk with my fiance about that.
You could have a contest! Let Wordforge pick your new last name! Of course, it'd help if we knew your first names. I wonder if your MIL would be more pissed if he took your last name, or if you both choose a "third option" last name?
I kept my name. The only reason was because I had a child and we shared the same name (didn't get married to several years later). I teach, and have so few students have the same last name as their parents'. Didn't want my child to have to go through that. Plus, it didn't hurt my feelings that I didn't have to complete any paperwork for my SS card, DL, or teaching license. Doesn't bother the husband one bit, at least he's never admitted it if it does. Yeah, it pisses the MIL off, and that *can* be a good thing!
The way I look at it, there are three main "desirable outcomes" when you're deciding what to do with last names after marriage, and it's next to impossible to satisfy all of them. The three desirable outcomes are: 1. Both spouses being able to keep their current professional identities. 2. Making a statement against a practice rooted in inequality. 3. Everyone in the family having the same last name. Changing your name to his only satisfies #3. Keeping your own name satisfies #1 and #2. Both of you hyphenating satisfies #2 and #3. Here's another option, though, which I think is sort of elegant. When Jennifer Granholm, the governor of Michigan, got married, she and her husband kept their own last names -- but each changed their middle name to the other's surname. She's Jennifer M. Granholm and he's Daniel G. Mulhern.
Okay, wahine, let's take his dick out of the equation and answer me this; What would you do if you were both girls and having a lesbian wedding? Whatever the answer to that is, do that.
The straight line of the week. The possibilities are endless, though 90% start with "Except for the bit where you --"
I didn't vote, because I wasn’t sure what to vote for but i will vote against hyphenating. It's a common practice in our church’s denomination and our pastor and her husband have a hyphenated last name and so do their children... and thats fine, it works for them, but what happens if one of their kids marries someone with a hyphenated name? My brother has already decided that if when he gets married, if his wife doesn't want to take his last name he'll take hers, because he doesn't want to hyphenate and he wants their children to have the same last name as both their parents.
I'm about as feminist as they come, and I took other half's surname when we got married. As somebody said to me at the time, 'if you reject your husband's name, you're keeping your father's'. Picking a completely new name wasn't much heard of then. Having said which, while I was still a reporter I kept my maiden name at work - apart from the fact that it was the name by which I'd started to build a reputation, the fact that I was a crime reporter in those days meant if people who didn't like what I'd written looked for me in the phone book or on the electoral roll, they'd be looking a long time... Meh, when it comes down to it, names don't really matter that much. I really can't argue with my dad, who always said, 'call me what you like, just don't call me late for dinner.'
Or you could be my wife's grandpa, who told her, "Why don't you keep your name, you may need it again someday".
I would go for the both of you combining both your names. Because it's cool. CAN husbands change their names too? Then all you'd have to decide between you is the order of your new surnames.
Late to the party, but I've heard of men who have done that. But as Marso mentioned some posts back (albeit in a joking manner) there's still very much a stigma attached with that. And there are still some women who are stuck in the stone age and think they can't be married without changing her name, even if the marriage is on paper only and she knows full well it's not a matter of if the marriage will end as when. *cough* my mom *cough* Personally, I'll probably change or hyphenate my own name. My last name belong to a father I haven't seen in ten years and my mom has wanted me to change to her last name for years, but by the time she started that shit up, I'd had my name forever and didn't want to start all over again with a new identity for no reason but her own pride. Marriage is about as good an excuse as any to get rid of it, IMHO. Oh, and to say what everyone else has said: do what feels right for you and fuck everyone else. WF is full of couples with unconventional beginnings like the Garishes who were barely legal when they got married and have been together for (IIRC) 17 years. If you want his name, great! If you want to keep yours, cool! If changes his or if you hyphenate or pick a new family name entirely, it's all window dressing on a relationship built on a good foundation of love and trust.
DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT. There's no other answer. Whatever your instinct says is probably the right decision.
What feels right to me is choosing a new name for both of us. Just have to think of something that works.
