As I understand the current take on evolution, the existence of every living organism on the Earth, including humans, is based on the ancestors of said organism taking advantage of, exploiting, often killing and eating, or at least ruining, countless weaker individuals and species. I would like to apologize for that. I realize that my whole life is based on the unfair actions of my ancestors. Evolution needs to be replaced with a more equitable system, say some kind of lottery where all organisms have an equal chance of being eliminated, so it isn't the strongest preying on the weakest. "Survival of the fittest" is morally wrong.
its the cyanobacteria ancestors we should be ashamed of, by unleashing oxygen upon this world they committed one of the greatest acts of genocide ever
^ I feel so ashamed... Can the world ever forgive me for all the wrongs my ancestors have perpetrated on the ancestors of a whole bunch of other organisms that don't even have any descendants any more, so that they aren't actually the ancestors of anyone, and whose descendants can't forgive me because of the wrongs my ancestors perpetrated on what would have been their ancestors if they had survived to have descendants, so that... ...Where was I going with that?
^ Is that what I meant? I feel ashamed for that, too, then. I hereby issue a formal apology to all members of inferior races for looking down on you. (And anyone who accepts that apology better not come crying to me because they see themselves as a member of an inferior race...)
Well, at least we don't have to apologize to the dinosaurs. They, at least, do not appear to have been driven to extinction, or even hastened in that direction, by competition with any other organisms. Though their descendents, if any still exist, certainly owe a lot of apologies to various organisms that they helped wipe out. I think a lot of those nasty critters ate up animals whose descendents could have evolved to sentience over time, except that their great-great-great-gran'cestors ended up being someone's lunch instead.
Apologies only make one look weak. Never apologise, just make up for your actions through generous donations to make up for all the stuff that was stolen. After all, if a person's rich then they must've stolen it and must be punished just for being rich. Being rich is an atrocious crime against humanity since it causes the poor people to starve.
But mammals have benefited unjustly from the extinction of the dinosaurs! Who's going to even that out, huh? Who? WHO?!?
Well, the few dinos who weren't snuffed out at the KT extinction, managed to evolve into birds. Flying, one would think, is ample enough payback.
Dinosaurs became chicken? [action=Asyncritus]imagines a Tyrannosaurus Rex, much diminished in size and beginning to grow wings, but still terrible and with big teeth, blustering: "Nobody. Calls. ME. Chicken!!!!"[/action] It wasn't my fault, your honor! I didn't order the asteroid, and none of my ancestors did, either. It just happened! One day we were all organizing this huge party with our dinosaur buddies, and one of them said, "I want to really get smashed this time," and the next thing we all knew, it was getting darker and colder...
know you all present that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a false deity! The one true God id teh Ceiling Cat! Read the word- http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1
So there were parrots and chickens and finches and eagles and owls when the big rock hit 65,000,000 years ago? Sweet.
Agreed! Some bastard heathen yesterday was trying to tell me about the Invisible Pink Unicorn! Fucking infidels!
