One of our managers decided to break the ice at training sessions by having a round the Whhel of Fortune home game. Big-ass 30" diameter wheel that you put your own phrases in. This will be a "Living Our Values" game . Anyhoo, I got elected to make the inserts, based on a template they gave me. The manager tells me there are 18 spokes on the wheel. She could only think of eight phrases, so I should use each one twice. Rather than continue talking to her, I decided to make "spin again!" for the two extras. After scanning the template, creating and carefull cutting out the 18 pie wedges, I inserted them into the wheel. Only to discover the wheel actually only has 12 spokes. Well, I guess that's why she isn't the math manager.
Team Work! Is this good for the company? Synergy Reaganomics You can do it! Fundamentals Bells and whistles Outside the Box Proactiveness Goal-oriented Win-Win Time Management
Be sure to add in for the remaining 4 spots: Do the funky chicken Kiss a member of the same sex Kiss a member of the opposite sex Strip
Sounds like the gay shit The Army does. Anywho, here are my phrase suggestions: Got MILF? It's not my department! You didn't get the memo? Does the SWAT Team know our address? This is Nucking Futs!
Bullshit Bingo is a fun game to play in teacher's meetings. A few of us do it clandestinely. Some of the phrases change over time. I add phrases like: * rich and robust content * adequate yearly progress (AYP) * NCLB
Perhaps. But I was only foolish enough to trust the person who bought the game, dowloaded the template and planned the whole thing, to tell me the right number.
12 more buzzwords: Paradigm shift Consensus Value-Added Vertical integration Core competency Values Strategic partners Six sigma Our brand Re-engineering Market leader Segment Mission statement
One of our previous presidents loved the word "transition." It was in every presentation he made, somewhere. It jumped the shark when his Christmas "message from the president" in the newletter started, "As we transition from this year to the next..." Another president's pet word was "synergy." again, it appeared in every friggin presentation and speach.
I feel your pain Forbin, just the other day we were confronting a problem, and dad said, "We're really going to separate the wheat from the chaff". So we did just that.
Sounds like our Army NCOER (kind of an annual efficiency report). You run out of superlatives after a while. One of my bosses found a way to work "promulgulate" and "emeliorate" into one of mine.
I really like clever invented words: the Simpsonish "embiggen" that has caught on, for instance. And I see nothing wrong with expressions like "full of fail" making it into the common vernacular. I remember a thread a couple of years back where I praised the word "dicked" as a more vividly crass alternative to "screwed" or "sexually penetrated." It occurred to me, though, that there wasn't a similar term from the feminine perspective. The best I could manufacture was "entwatted."
"Cromulent" is another word from The Simpsons as is "D'oh." (The last one has made it into the OED!) "Unpossible" is another Simpsonism which crops up from time to time.
Six Sigma suxs. I keep getting emails at work, wanting me to pony up $600 to attend some annual Six Sigma Conference and get "belted" or something, and listen to a bunch of business big-wigs spout off something in some language other than English. I'm amazed that Big Business in America can make any profit at all when it wastes time on like this.
Should we tell them about the "P5" shirts? I don't know if I got one or not, but there's no way I'd ever wear it. Anyway, I thought it was "Living Our Values" BINGO. Or is that a different game in the works? That sounds about as interesting as sitting around with a bunch of old ladies at church.
Oh, I've got P5 shirts! Betcha can't remember all 5 - Persistence, Punctuality... fuck, that ain't right, I can't even remember any of them. Yeah, Bingo is next week - I had to research and purchase a bingo-card printing program for the graphics dept for that shit. There aren't a lot of options. And some of our values phrases are so long, they print at about 4-point in the bingo fields. Better bring reading glasses. God knows when the wheel of fortune thing will happen. They're also planning Living Our Values Jeapardy! 6 Sigma at our place is officially referred to as "Value Based Six Sigma," or VBSS. The manager is referred to as "Champion" rather than manager. Highly qualified members of the department are black belts. Everyone else in the company is supposed do some kind of cost-saving project to earn a VBSS green belt. We have VBSS posters and logos all over, so of course, after many years, they decided to make it VBLSS for Value Based Lean Six Sigma. So we eventually have to change all the stationery and posters. I still have no idea WTF it all means, and I don't really care.
I took some online VBSS survey for the company. Once question asked what the acronym DMAIC meant. (Google it if you care.) I knew it was Define, Measure, uh, Analyze, and that was all I could remember. Rather than put down a partial answer, I made up new meanings for the letters, Don't Make Another Insane Choice, and put that down for the answer. I like my answer better than the real one. Let me check my closet for a P5 shirt... Yeah, it's there... With the other shirts I never wear.
