Favorite Way for the World to End

God calls you up one day and says that He's had it with humanity and is going to wipe us out, but as an act of mercy, He's going to allow you to pick the method by which He does it. So, what's your poison?

Yeah, like we need Gods help to finish ourselves off.

Earth ripped apart by two black holes.

Ragnarok'n'rolla

No Zombie option?

That's a disease, innit?

I voted for the "All Our Yesterdays" ending of the world. Death would be instantaneous yes?

Grey goo.

What do I care? I'll be offworld at the time.

Every human being on Earth has catastrophic, fatal orgasms, we all die and the world is flooded with jizz.

Snoo Snoo?

That's right. "Death by Snoo-Snoo." For the whole... planet.

Death by otters. On conveyor belts.

Strange matter.

I think y'all know where I stand on this one. :ele:

Zombie Apocalypse is a pretty broad phenomenon. It could be caused by a disease, but there are other causes. Chemical warfare, Hell filling up, and rampant consumerism come to mind.

I'm going with a general zombie/machine/alien apocalypse as my first choice. A chance at getting up to some destructive mayhem on my way out. My vehicle will be taking a Blues Brothers -style tour of every fucking shopping mall in the city, and that's just for starters.

So, we want to kill all people? or destroy civilization? or destroy the whole planet literally?

Global Atomic war.

Culmination of the Radical Homosexual Agenda.

A Black Hole spontaneously forms in Baba's ass. Come on, you knew he'd be the cause. You knew it.

Wipe everyone out in some manner. All dead. You know, real wrath of God type stuff.

Asteroid hits the Cotton Bowl in Dallas on the second Saturday in October.

Yeah the shockwave and nuclear winter will probably get me soon after, but knowing that those assholes went first will make my last moments a lot more bearable.

Well, there's also alien invasion.

There's a probe joke here somewhere....

The Blues win the Stanley Cup. Whatever curse that's on them gets flung off and starts a chain reaction that wipes out all the idiots who don't use their turn signals. They die horribly, feeling the full brunt of their idiocy in their last seconds. This spreads to the tailgaters of the world, with similarly painful results. All the news anchors pull a muscle trying to pretend that this loss is somehow a bad thing and are replaced by the monkeys who write those notoriously unreadable inter-lingual instruction booklets. Watching the news, the world's governments get the idea that there is a huge nuclear war on and launch their nukes at each other. Big shiny explosions, the world dies.

Later we find out that it was actually the world's secret evil identical twin, and the world itself had been tied up in Marcie's brother's insane girlfriend's duplex's basement since Greg left Yolanda at the altar two seasons ago.

Also there is pudding involved.

And a alien probe determines that Earth is over populated and humans will be extinct in a couple hundred years and take thousands of species with us so the probe creates two airborne viruses. One makes Zombies and is in the billions and one makes Vampires in smaller numbers. Vampires being used to hunt down those humans who were smart enough to survive the initial Zombie onslaught.

Oh and then the probe in one last act sends out a powerful EMP pulse that just wipes everything electrical out unless it was underground or in a Faraday cage thing.

Actual for a pulp story it's pretty decent. Lots of Mormons though.....

JJ's next Star Trek film proves to be as enjoyable and successful as his first. Haters storm nuclear power plants and trigger catasrophic meltdowns while screaming incoherently about breweries and fonts and nonexistant plot holes. Because their Star Trek died, the whole world must join it!