What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby? A watermelon floats.
What's easier to unload, a truck full of lightbulbs, or a truck full of dead babies? With dead babies, you can use a pitchfork. (Damn, these are from the 1970s!)
What's the difference between garamet knocking on your front door because she wants in and a dog barking on the back porch because he wants in? When you let them both in, the dog will shut up.
What can you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag. What can you do with a kid with no arms or legs? Use him for second base. Yeah, I went to school in the 70s.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion? You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby. (I'm so going to hell.)
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Did you hear about the two men who raped Helen Keller and then chopped off her hands so she couldn't tell anybody about it?
Q. What's the difference between a dead baby and a dog turd? A. About 5 minutes, and you have to starve the dog first. Q. What's the difference between a garbage bag full of trash and a garbage bag full of dead babies? A. The garbage bag full of trash goes into the dumpster behind your house.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in front of the door? Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, hanging on a wall? Art. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, gone waterskiing? Skip.
