Hypothetical Itchyass Situation.

There's your problem!

Yes, and in remote parts of the world I have had to use them all at one time or another:

- magazine pages
- leaves
- sticks
- pinecones
- nothing at all

Believe me, there have been plenty of times when I was very grateful for really cheap toilet paper. (Of course, most of the time I have some right on me, but when you spend enough time in remote places, it occasionally happens that the need hits when you aren't prepared...)

Which parts of France were those?

Pinecones?!?

Yowch!!!!

Pinecones? PINECONES?!?

How the hell does that become a good idea? I'd think ripping off a piece of your shirt or maybe sacrificing a sock would be something you'd try first.

Detroit.

Well, actually spruce cones. If you only rub in the right direction, it's not too bad...

Heh. He doesn't know how to use the pinecones.

Hell no I don't know how to use pinecones. You'd first have to convince me of the utility of it. Seems to me that they are about the least suitable object conceivable.

I've had to sacrifice socks a couple of times when I discovered there wasn't any TP.

Everyone tries the sock trick...

Once.

Then after a day of patrolling with no sock they never do THAT again.

Eventually you get to the point where you just say 'Fuck it, I'll just wash my hand real, real good....'

I say that takes the whole "Assimilate and blend in with the locals in the sand box" idea way too fucking far.

About the worst I can claim is leaves. Thank the Gods!!

Just think of it as a manual bidet.

The irony was that the fucking thing was wrapped in 3 layers of plastic.

Yeah, the outside plastic (it was a Costco purchase, so pretty big), then that was divided into 16 packs that were wrapped in plastic, and then the four packs were wrapped in plastic.

I love my wife to death, and she has the greatest intentions but she doesn't always think things through when it comes to her 'beliefs'. I think after the TP incident I've gotten it into her head "Any company that has three layers of plastic packaging isn't actually Green, it's just Green Washing. Don't just look at the labels, but take in the entire product."

I've used both each time it's happened, one for the bulk. The other to tidy up, just don't do the between the legs shoeshine thing, that can give you rug burn.

If I were in that situation I'd just ask my spouse to kill me right then and there. The day I can no longer wipe my own ass is the day I want to check out permanently.

I've never loved anyone that much.... and you can actually get people to pay YOU to let them wipe YOUR ass.

You can always show her Penn and Teller's bit on recycling as well. Amazing how much feeling good about ourselves actually costs both moneywise and environmentally...

I'm not so lacking in will that I can't handle temporary weakness.

You would really rather die than have help wiping your ass for a week or two? Even if you know you'll get better?

Kinda nuts there, dude.

That doesn't apply here as almost all energy is derived from Hydro, Nuke, or alternatives. The last remaining coal powerplant in the state (providing only .5% of Seattle's electricity) will close in 2016.

Also, since everyone does it, there are huge economies of scale. Between recycling and composting Seattle has one the highest landfill diversion rates in the Nation.

Recycling IS actually good here.

No one desires to be in that situation, but you only get one life. There's lots of things I wish I could do that I can't, but I can still find enjoyment in my life.

There are just some things worth paying a little more for.

Too bad that cloud of Smug shifted north and is growing exponentially.

=

You really need to read up more on "recycling". Other than making white people feel good and allowing local politicians to toot their horns about "diversion rates", household recycling is a bunch of bullshit that's actually bad for the environment.

(Except for metals recycling, which is a very good thing.)

Yep. There are some indignities I will not abide.

I'm done as soon as I can't move my own furniture.

No, you need to reread my post.

Most of 'worse for the environment' argument is based on the energy argument. Since the US gets a large percentage of it's energy from coal any extra energy cost associated with recycling over making new is put in the 'negative' column. HOWEVER in a place like Seattle where over 98% of it's power comes from Hydro, Nuke and Renewables that argument doesn't work.

The next part is transportation. B/c a separate truck is needed to collect the recycling it presums a doubling of carbon emmissions due to the vehicles.

First this presumes all garbage trucks run off diesel or gas. Not always the case.

Secondly it doesn't take into consideration density. You want to serve 5000 McMansions in Suburbia, then yes, that'd be A LOT of driving, a lot of trucks, a lot of time, and a lot of money. You want to serve 5000 households in DT Seattle and that is a couple of blocks.

Lastly it doesn't take into consideration the general amount of waste produced by those living in cities compared to elsewhere. Not only that it presumes that recycling is only adding a second stream of waste, instead of also decreasing the general landfill waste. When people make an effort to recycle, to only buy recyclable products/containers the general landfill ammount is decreased substantially. In my house of 9 in Bellevue, we went through a bag of garbage every 2 weeks. The rest was recycling. As we only took the garbage bin out when it was full, the truck only stopped at our house every 3 or 4 weeks. Repeat this throughout the city and you have less time, money, and energy spent on collecting general garbage.


Now this time actually read my post before responding.