Tubby: Pepper sprayin', bacon stealin', chicken wing lovin' 340 pounder arrested.

Me HUNGRY.... feed now.

Cow of a woman tries to make off with pilfered product.

Damn....before I even read the details I KNEW there was a better-than-even chance of this happening here in Georgia. Athens was a curve-ball, but Georgia is no surprise.

Anyway, are they going for the stereotype "perfect storm" or what?

Regardless, that fat girl who played "Precious" will portray her in a Lifetime TV movie soon.

Well, she'll get 3 squares where she's going- still at taxpayer expense, unfortunately.

That, and she'll stab the others to get theirs too. Takes a lot of PB&J to feed something that size.

And this little piggy went to the market...

How do you make it all the way to 340lbs of grown ass woman without learning that spitting on people is some uncouth little kid shit?

She's a ghetto rat.

She doesn't look an ounce over 310

The camera adds 10/100 pounds or so they say.

Nobody likes a rat.

Who here would've reported this shoplifter? Keep in mind we're talking about bacon, beer, and cheese.


:dancingbacon:

I love her wry smile in the mugshot.

How many cameras were on her?

Skin would. Shoplifting jacks up prices, and unless people love jacked-up prices, they'd better start learning to like a rat.

Although to feed her in the manner to which she is accustomed, the correctional facility would need a properly reinforced runway surface for deliveries.

Prison time will be good for her. It will help her lose tons of weight, improve her health and bolster her self-esteem. Now if we could only do the same to some of the people over here.

The really comical thing here is she tried to run away.

I guess using run instead of "a slow side to side waddle to get away" is much easier to type and takes less space.

Hey, maybe that worked for her before. Freight trains might take awhile to get up any speed, but it ain't easy to stop them once they're going.

Or a big black female version of the Juggernaut.

I got a job once by telling the manager about a shoplifter. So yes, I would tell.

How in the hell did you have a picture like that ready to use??!?

It wasn't ready to use, I read your comment about the freight and thought 'Like the Juggernaut'.

So I made it in way under a minute, for a visual.

Riight.

And then she'd sit on you next time you took the subway.
Wait.....can she even get thru the door of a subway?

Regardless, let's hear what Howlin' Wolf has to say about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ2UadHc_Qg

At her size, I'd be comparing her more to Blob.

Little piggy's gone be squeelin' when they don' be givin' her no feedin' trough.

She's so fat not even Dora can explore her!

She's so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door!

She's so fat last time she seen 90210 is on the scale!

She's so fat that her Christmas picture is still developing!

She's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

She's so fat she doesn't need the internet - she's already world-wide!

She's so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard!

She's so fat that when she dances the band skips!

Luckily for the band, the bari sax had been vamping an ostinato at the skip, so they avoided the broken record sound when they got forced into the infinite loop!

She's so fat, the waistband on her panties says, "BF Goodrich".

She's so fat, she steps on the scale and the readout comes back with, "GET THE FUCK OFF ME, BITCH!"

She's so fat, Columbus is tryin' to convince Queen Isabella to fund an expedition to explore her neck.

She's so fat, Eskimos think she's a porn star!

Look, children, white middle-class assholes who hate themselves.