Racism in a Jif? Damned Skippy!

For Volpone:

No word yet on whether cruncy peanut butter is more racist and oppressive than smooth peanut butter.

 

And let us not even for a moment ponder whether or not the racism actually lies with those who, y'know, make everything about racism...

 

There aren't enough facepalms on the Internet for that.

People who think sandwiches are racist should probably be put down.

 

What next? Pizza as an attack on Germans?

 

That why it's not so bad that the teachers are striking in Chicago atleast it spares the students from this same kind of PC shit there too.

 

So..let me get this straight..

If I eat a peanut butter sandwich near someone else who doesn't eat sandwiches that is racist?

WTF? That doesn't even make any sense! Food preferences are not racism. Pie is suddenly racist if blacks don't eat it. It's complete nonsense!!

 

Idiocy. People who see racism everywhere in everything are blind to when it actually takes place.

 

Eating that isn't racist.

Calling Anna that is racist.

There is a distinct difference.

 

There are CLEARLY far too many people out there who have nothing constructive to do with their time if all they can do is invent controversies.

I also love the asymmetric tolerance on display: food may be racist if minorities don't eat it. But what if minorities eat foods that whites don't? Oh, that's their culture! As usual, it's only whites who can be guilty or responsible.

The term racism is rapidly losing all its power. When I hear it now, my first reaction is skepticism.

 

I'm eating a PB&J right now.

 

The word "jelly" is racist against Brits.

It's "jam".

 

Can't seem to find a working link to this story.

 

WTF is this Mister Rodgers shit? I thought The Army went off the deep end in the late 90's with "Consideration Of Others" training. Every fucking food item will seem strange to a Somali unless it involves parts of a goat I wouldn't even let a coyote eat.

Hey, kids, you want to feel good about your culture? You have the rest of your 24 hour day to do it when you leave school in the afternoon. Option B is have mommy + daddy buy you a ticket on the first thing smoking back to your country/cave of origin.

If I were an educator and the school even suggested wasting my time putting every fucking aspect of our daily lives under scrutiny, I'd have a Courageous Conversation about kissing my ass.

A few more generations and we will destroy the last remaining bits of American pride and exceptionalism out the door.

 

Huh. If this is to be believed I guess I'm a racist after all then.

 

George Washington Carver was probably racist when he worked with peanuts. Or something.

Peanut power!

 

Obviously not racist.

That said, stuff like this can be a consideration in standardized tests.

 

Oh for fuck's sake, can't we just fire these fucking morons when they do stupid shit like this? They are an embarrassment, not to mention they are destroying our kids' minds with this horseshit.

 

Why do these people spend so much time thinking about potential racism?

And why do they think it's their job to speak for anyone who might be offended?

 

PB & J is inherently racist, in a "separate but equal" fashion.



It will only stop being racist once the PB and the J are truly integrated!



Goober Grape is a good start, but we still have miles to go!

 

So instead of jellyfish it's jamfish?

 

Well a jelly fish is a lot more similar to the English version of jelly, which is what Americans call jello.

Really you should call them jellofish!

 

Wrong.

There's actually a difference between jelly and jam.

You're a lawyer; look it up.

 

Yes, I'm sure there's some legislation and a bit of case law on it.

 

Let's just shortcut the whole process:

Since American society is of, by, and for white people only, everything that exists within the context of American society is racist. It's all part of the oppressive superstructure.1







1 - Statements contained herein may not reflect the opinion of the author or correspond to any rational interpretation of reality.

 

principal of Harvey Scott K-8 School

Volpone, you know what to do.

 

About 30 years too late, folks:

THE SCENE: Professor Shabazz K. Morton (Eddie Murphy) is sitting in a big brown chair in what appears to be a study. Behind him are a fern and a bookshelf. Professor Morton is waiting for the audience to cease its laughter. Incidentally, while he pronounces it "Morton," the closed captioning reads "Martin."

PROFESSOR SHABAZZ K. MORTON:
I don't see what's so funny. Hello, my name is Professor Shabazz K. Morton. In 1895, at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, a black man named George Washington Carver developed a new method of soul, soil improvement through crop rotation. (the audience laughs) So I messed up. Shut up! (the audience laughs again and applauds) Stop clapping before y'all make me smile! To end the South's agricultural dependence on cotton alone. As a result, Carver came up with hundreds of industrial uses for the peanut. Sure industrial uses. Meanwhile, one night, he's having a few friends over to his house for dinner, and one of them leans over and says to Doctor Carver, "Excuse me, George. What's that you puttin' on your bread?" And Carver says, "Oh, that's nothing but a butter substitute that I made from peanuts. I can't digest all that animal fat, you know." So, the other fella tastes it and he says, "Hmm. This pastes pretty, this tastes..." (the audience laughs again) Yeah, keep on smiling. "This tastes pretty good, man. Mind if we take a peek at the recipe?" And Doctor Carver says, "Take a peek? Heh. Man, you can have it. Who's gonna make, eat butter made out of peanuts? No, no, I'm working on the method to compress peanuts into phonograph needles." So, Doctor Carver's two dinner guests, Edward "Skippy" Williamson and Frederick "Jif" Armstrong, two white men, stole George Washington Carver's recipe for peanut butter, copyrighted it, and reaped untold fortunes from it, while Doctor Carver died penniless and insane, still trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut. This has been Black History Minute. I'm Shabazz K. Morton. Good night.​

 

Your post is completely unreadable. Why would you use a WHITE font color?!?!?

 

Yeah, that'd be ridiculous!

 

Because my background is blue, thus white stands out quite vividly. I didn't choose white - I just cut and pasted. If everything else I cut and paste is readable, why would I think this segment would be any different?