Step 1: Invade home. Step 2: Score family-sized can of whoopass.

And the added benefit of a firearm versus fists, bats, etc. on an intruder.
The firearm (if used properly) is a PERMANENT solution to that intruder's ability to practice his trade.

Why half ass it? The intruder is a proven threat. You put other residents at risk because you didn't finish the job.

Can't sleep at night because you killed somebody? :darwin:
It was him or you, and you didn't have enough self esteem to put your life above that of a violent felon. He lives to reproduce and raise children who are statistically likely to be threats to life and limb, while you die a victim. That's a sad, sad way to live and die.

The folks in the OP seem to have done all right.

IN THIS ONE CASE! Let this happen 100 times (with a large demographic variance of home owners) and see how often it works.
WAIT...how about we send a crew of intruders (usually they work in teams) to your home and see how it plays out?

Because that will really convince me that you're a responsible gun owner?

Tasers are not legal for civilian possession in NJ. I don't know about other states, but I don't have that option.

Honestly, I don't think you will really convince me you are from this planet.

Yeah.....

How dare you guys not stop engaging Dayton.....

Oh wait......

Wow, yeah, let's base policy on luck.

You never did tell us why you hate innocent children.

There's an Ayoob Files column from 1991 this reminds me of. I have it in PDF but the fucking thing won't cut-and-paste properly.

Basically: Senior couple home watching TV.
Suspicious Dude rings doorbell and asks for someone who doesn't live there. Husband politely tells him he has the wrong house. car in driveway with more young men in it. Dude goes away.
Five minutes later the doorbell rings again. Husband's spidey sense goes off and he retrieves his .45.
Unfortunately his wife beats him to the door and opens it. Same suspicious dude, shows the wife a piece of paper and insists she reads it.
Husband arrives behind wife at door with his .45 out of sight.
At that moment, the husband realizes the paper is a distraction and he sees the dude draw a handgun and point it at them.
Husband raises his gun while trying to get between his wife and the threat.
Bad guy and homeowner fire simultaneously, both emptying their guns.
Homeowner gets multiple hits on bad guy, who goes down on the porch, mortally wounded.
Carload of accomplices in driveway takes off.
It's after the shooting stops and his tunnel vision recedes that the husband sees that the bad guy's first shot hit his wife in the forehead, killing her instantly.

This was probably the first article that made me aware of home invasions, and put them at the forefront of Things I Don't Want To Happen To My Family.

Did he bump fire?

If I have time to grab a taser, I have time to grab a gun, which has a higher success rate of stopping a threat than tasers do, with the added benefit of being able to be fired more than once.

No, it's totally not. It's a callback to another guy -- who, yes, happened to be black -- who started some shit that he came out on the bleeding-and-crying side of.

Didn't even occur to me that they were both black until you mentioned it.

is "call the amber lamps" the guy that picked a fight with Epic Beard Guy?
That guy needed a good ass kicking.

Yep, the very same. Lesson learned: You do fucking not get beefy with a Vietnam vet, because they can and will fuck your shit up, sideways and backward.

Darwin's First Law: Don't answer the door if you don't recognize the person ringing the bell. At the very least you'll spare yourself Jehovah's Witnesses and unwanted magazine subscriptions. In Forbin's Scary Universe, you'll save yourself from being shot.

Darwin's Second Law: If you're dumb enough to violate Darwin's First Law, at least when your wife asks "Who was that at the door?" don't just grunt and retrieve the remote, answer her.


Have you ever wondered why you collect stories like this? Is it because you live in one of the safest cities in America, despite your state's "oppressive" gun laws, or is there something else going on?

And because tasing someone doesn't have nearly the cachet as ventilating them. Nobody buys drinks for the guy who just tases someone.


General question that any gunlubber can answer: When you fantasize about shooting that Bad Guy who's determined to break down your door at 5 a.m. when he knows you're home, do you reach for a handgun, a shotgun, or your AR-15?

'cause I'm trying to imagine what would be left of your furniture if you went for Options 2 or 3.

And if your rationale is "If I used the AR-15, I wouldn't go auto; I'd only fire one round at a time," then wouldn't Option 1 be preferable anyway? Or is your aim really that bad?

Not that you had any credibility on this issue before, but now you're pure laughingstock.

So you'd opt for "Use up the whole 30 rounds, then haul what's left of the furniture to the curb and head for IKEA."

So I'm saying that you're a laughingstock for presuming that AR-15s are capable of fully automatic fire.

Did I write "fully auto," or are you just bad at dialogue? Would your character have said "semi-auto" in an offhand remark like that or, since he'd be yukking it up with his fellow gunlubbers, wouldn't they - pardon the expression - automatically get what he was saying?

Semi-auto is "one round at a time," so your "dialogue" is, what? Choosing between semi-auto and semi-auto? Knock it off with the games -- you fucked up, and you're caught.

If there is one person I want to suffer terribly, but survive, from a home invasion it's Garamet.

Not because I hope such a thing would change her mind about guns.

No, I just want her to suffer being beaten within a inch of her life because she is one of the worst posters on this board.

Acceptance of your recognition that you're a lousy shot, and you'd need a 30-round clip to take out an intruder?

And this, boys and girls, is why some people own guns. Words scare them.

And this, boys and girls, is why Zombie's correct about garamet being the worst poster on the board.

Because words scare you, too?

You did flit off right after the rep rules changed.

Go on, now. Do what you always do.

Wow, and both of those points just flew right over your head. That's right, the ability to stop someone from killing you, or the ability to stop more than one person, or even the same person in case you miss the first time, takes a back seat to garamet's fantasies of bravado.

And this statement only highlights how you really do have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

In your hands they apparently would.

What a pathetic attempt at dodging. You've already shown yourself to not know what you're talking about, but naturally you'll never admit to it.

If you're that bad a shot, I wouldn't even need to.

No one would confuse "auto" with "semiauto" except for people who don't know anything about firearms. Not even in casual conversation.