I am the masturbating troll

Wow. I never thought we could get worse than Castle on the pathetic scale.

So bad it's almost as if Castle needs to come back to put Turdrun in her place.

Man, that's fucking harsh.


I mean, it's true. But still...

Wasn't there supposed to be some big event that would humble us all?

I nearly asked if you could let us know when it started so we didn't miss it amidst your usual crap, but I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.

But everything since has had the squelchy whistle of a damp fart.

So if this lightshow happened, perhaps you DO need to point it out to us?

Actually, I suppose orgasm denial is indeed a form of trolling.

That said, ya need to at least warm them up a bit, or it's not so much denial as "not even getting started". I don't get to say hello to female coworkers and then say I denied them an orgasm, unless that hello included nibbling of the earlobes.

Which it would, if not for that pesky restraining order.

Your posts are so dumb that no one gets past the first sentence anymore. You're not master of anything. You're just masquerading as a woman. And a moronic one at that.

Less of a masquerade than your attempts to pass your hatred and bigotry off as appropriate for a follower of Jesus' teachings, and far more authentic than your imaginary wife.

Shouldn't you be plugging in your Cougar 9000? You need a full charge for another chickless weekend.

Hey look!!!

Chardman posted a reply with actual text!!!!

Wait, is this another masturbation thread by that pinky re-run dude? Where's my poncho? I feel a drizzle is in the air. A small one.

I actually do that quite often, which you'd notice if you weren't so busy lovingly suckling The Festering Prolapsed Anus of Epic Fail™.

Thank you captain obvious, it is good to know you are still out there being completely useless.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that you have a sharp wit. Seriously, my own thread title was a better jibe than that. Don't hurt yourself trying to keep up.

That would be all awesome, if I was here to amuse others.Trolling is a solo sport for a reason. Those trolls who get caught up in their own popularity have given other trolls the rope to hang them with. Some may like me sometimes, especially when I attack those who they want to be butthurt, but they should realize the enemy of their enemy is just a tool and not their friend. When I want for friends I do not go here. Seeing how most around here treat their "friends" I am pretty sure I am right on. Friends tend to be a liability on message boards for a troll. That is why we use socks when we play with ourselves.

I know the sarcasm was there. If you look at the master plan I relied on it being there. Duh, it is what I used. Those people could have called me anything else but master troll, and they did. For some reason, me, they all liked the idea of calling me the master troll above most other names. I am trying to explain this shit to you losers so you can do better in the future.

Every word I type here has a purpose. There is reason behind it. That is the same for everyone here. They have a reason why they respond the way they do. If I told you to do something you have no motive in the universe to follow my instructions. So if I want you to do something, like say whine about this latest victory of mine, then I do what is required to make you follow my desire. I was quite aware that the master troll thing would catch on, and I knew people like chup would run with it trying to take the title from me to taunt me with it. In the end after they made the "crown" dirty they would return it to my head and make sure everyone could see they crowned me the master troll. All I did was accept the title and then dust off the crown.


Now everyone is trying to pretend they did not mean to crown me master troll when clearly they did it by their own free will. They just had the stupid idea that the crown would come with their admiration. Now if I were running for most awesome person ever their admiration and love would have been necessary, but the master troll crown was always made of dirt. It's value comes from the refraction of the motivations of the troll that uses it. In other words none of them would ever really want that title, even though they all wish to be the great bad ass. Even great badasses who grab the crown get taken down as they do not understand it. The only person who could truly want and handle such a crown is a master of chaos, or a master trickster.

You can say all you want about who I am and who I am not. The results are not reliant on your opinion or desire. I do not think outside of the box, I create the box you think in.

Hey look, dayton is still such a fucktard he failed at being a gym coach.

Look here mongrel, don't you start hijacking my victory dance for your own. Now take that nubby little pecker of yours and jerk it to my greatness like you do every night. Remember who you are supposed to be giving attention to in this thread you whiny little cunt. You have your reputation, do not start trying to be me. Get back to telling us how you are going to beat the fuck out of everyone who writes bad things about you because you cannot deal with people correcting how wrong you always are.

Is this genuinely the best you can do, after such a total failure of a thread?

Wow...less than 10 paragraphs. Well done, sir!

You actually read his shit?

Did I say that was the best that I can do? Please stop putting words in my mouth I am quite capable of saying what I mean. If you are going to make the joke thing you should really either work within what I give you or get better at mocking me. You are just showing all the people who don't like you that they have nothing to be afraid of because you are all talk and no substance. It is a nice suit and jacket you wear, but the person inside of it is not anything more than common rabble.

You do not like the fact that I do not respect your intellect, and I make it very well known. I know where it hurts and that is why you are one of my toys. It was fucking easy as pie to do this trick, and there are more coming. I have not yet even started performing, this is just the practice outside of the carnival to lure the rubes in. I would tell you to know your place, but you are already there and quite easily manipulated. You have no idea how the strings are woven. And yes, it is my fantasy world where I will dance you about for my amusement. The other night I was terribly amused. I had a good old laugh at the chuppet. Please do not confuse a meltdown for the fireworks. I love fireworks and how the explode in different rythem with the music.

I am not eric cartman though I can see where a person might get that. I am a magical girl come to lighten up your world. Oh wait, did I just drop another term that you might someday call me? Or am I just having a meltdown. Be very careful my puppet because your folly amuses me, and I would think you would not like to end up like dayton.

I suppose that might be ban worthy (anna is going to yell at me again despite the reality that you can get banned around here.) given the opinions of the mods. You have not yet seen me unfold my wings and do something, and we are heading into that time of year when I might have some more time inside.

But it is not only me who knows I am such a master troll as you have so graciously advertised that for me. I will take that title as you have used it to identify me. See where my next trick is and I might give you some points.

I suppose reading a lot of big words does not hurt his head as much as it does yours.

Well, this thread was set up as a reaction to my posts, so I figured it was a courtesy to give it some attention.

I usually don't read past the first few sentences though.

He might be trolling but we are all skimming past it.

Que?

Ha ha. Just noticed this gem. "For some reason"....

From one of your first posts here....

You haven't gotten people to recognise your trolling credentials. You haven't irritated them. You've gotten them to laugh at you. That's the purpose of the "Master Troll" label. Mockery. People don't even manage to finish reading your long winded replies, and all your big claims on arrival have amounted to absolutely nothing. All they see is another human failure who's had about as much impact as a cyber attack on a paper envelope....and it's glorious to see a delusional egomaniac like you crash and burn with such a whimper. In fact, it's a testament to how you can be trolled that this thread even exists. Always nice to see a "big brain" implode.

You mean you're going to do more!?!? Please no!

WF can't take much more! You've already fractured us enough. I think you need to take a step back and realizing the true and irreversible harm you've unleashed upon WF. A world of hurt would be a welcome place compared to where we find ourselves now.

I was pretty sure the big words were hard for you to comprehend. Don't worry, there is nothing you need to know within them anyway. I am pretty sure that you just told me you are so easy to control I can do it in less than 144 characters. I still won't do that, but we agree it does not take much to influence your feeblemind.