There is a reason 104 years later USASOC can still get 1911s. It's not because it is ineffective. Anne's father beat Lung Cancer today the Old Soldier's method. Bit of a different situation between me and Anne. She's really really old. And her parents were about 10 years older than mine to begin with (North v South). So Bob and Carol are only a couple years younger than my grandparents. Fuck. Merry fucking Xmas. Bob dead today. Christmas on the 25th. Rio is due on the 27th. Yay.
If I understand correctly… wow. That's a tough situation for anybody to deal with, to say the least, and right before Christmas doesn't make it any easier. Not much to say other than hang in there, people are going to be relying on you for support. How old is your son now? He's going to be confused about the whole thing and I honestly don't know how much would be appropriate to tell him.
I had an aunt die the day after Christmas in '99....six days after one son's birthday and the day before another's It sucks, dude.
Can't be sure, but I think his father-in-law committed suicide, rather than continue to suffer an incurable case of lung cancer. Baby is due on two weeks, so wife is already a hormonal basket case, this likely doesn't help. Probably some alcohol in there, too.
Oh I see - well who knows what can go through somebody's mind when facing a terminal disease? Perhaps bad timing being Xmas, but things hit when they hit. But having a baby due (while stressful) is kind of a sign that "life goes on" in one form or another. I just got to see my first grand-child a few days ago. It puts things in perspective for me. My life is winding down, her (the grandchild) life is just starting up. That's a pretty cool cycle to me.
My uncle's father (my mother's sister's father in law) did the same thing a year ago. He had terminal brain cancer and probably felt choosing the way he went out was one of the only things he could still control. Sympathy and best wishes to you and your family.
Correct on all points. He pretty much said last night this was going to happen (and by 'pretty much said' I mean 'He fucking said'.) so not a shock or anything. In fact I got up at 7 this morning and started working on the basement. Ever since Drew and Rachel moved out, it's been a work in progress. Long term goal is to get it ready to AirBnB, short term is to have ready for my Mom and Dad to stay when Rio is born. So timeline shortened. I got up early and started cleaning up the construction zone. At this point, bedroom, bathroom and half the kitchen is good to go (chandelier in dining area of kitchen is unfinished). Fucked up part is I was the first to call Carol. More than fucked up part was she said 'I'm glad you called so I can say I'm glad he's dead'. Bob thought I was awesome. He only ended up with one son and one disappointment (a daughter). His ended up being a math nerd. Yeah, he was an astrophysicist working at JPL, but how you gonna talk to someone like that. Then I came along. I was a fellow Vet and I could go drink for drink with him (no small feat.. Add on I was smart enough and followed politics enough, we ended up doing our own thing. He was an arrogant, abrasive, misogynistic asshole to everyone else in the family, but he thought I was fucking awesome. Only issue we ever had was he was a dick to his daughter.
Lost my wife's dad the day before Thanksgiving last year. That sucked. When we moved into our house, there were a lot of papers. We found an envelope with a police report and a picture of a guy with his brains splattered everywhere. The older brother of the guy who owned our house committed suicide rather than die of some kind of cancer. Found all kind of letters from the owner to government agencies about how he wanted to be buried next to his wife, but that the famiky had arranged it so a "dago" couldn't be buried next to a white woman, or something. Lots of weird stuff man.
Sorry, man. My great uncle Wally (Dad's Father's Sister's Husband), who Dad was close to, died of cancer. When Aunt Dot asked Dad to take his guns out of the house, he found that Uncle Wal's old .38 had a single shell loaded. So the old fella was clearly considering bailing out early. Just never got up the nerve, I guess. I know people call it the coward's way out, but sometimes I think (depending on circumstances) it would take a hell of a lot of courage to actually do it.
Gul explained upthread, but in summary: father in law commuted suicide to head off death by incurable lung disease, a week before Anc's wife's due date.
Ok, gonna sound terrible, but since it's the Red Room, I've got to say that I find that an incredibly, incredibly selfish act. Not only does it suggest he had no interest in seeing his grandchild, but the emotional impact could have a negative impact on her health during the birth. Awful stuff.
Again, we never know why some people do the things they do. Suicide causes a lot of emotional damage most of the time.
I am not much for the guilt trip about others pain over suicide. It is a terrible motivator and actually lowers the emotion of the suicidal person by making them feel more terrible about things because they know one fact. You cannot live for the happiness of others. People say the suicidal person is selfish anmd perhaps that is so, but then so are the people around them. You do not want them to go because you will be in pain and loss. However, if a person is feeling so sick and tired of this world that they just want to end the pain or move onto whatever else is out there even if it happens to be oblivion is it really right to ask them to live on in that for the sake of your feelings? You do not have to live in thgeir shoes or their pain so great for you. So what if they suffer a bit worse because they see you whining and complaining about how they are going to hurt you. The idea that everyone has hope for a better tomorrow where the bullshit is not there is a fairy tale. Some people are set for a worsening end. Some people live in day to day pain, and there is no hope for relief. There are no bootstraps you can haul yourself up on if there is no cure for whatever is causing you pain. It is great that some people who suffer a painful spiral into disease or pain get up each day and face it. That does not mean everyone wants to face that future, and why should they? What is going to be a painful realization for most is that your piece of mind and your pain may just not be a good reason for them to do so. My thought is if life is so bad, and the world and I cannot provide what you need to survive then go and do not worry about those things you leave behind. I cannot live for others, and they should not live for me. It does suck for people left behind, but they have a different experience, and they will have better days after losing you. About the only exception I find to this are angsty teenagers. It seems that run away hormones and inexperience lead to excessive drama for many at that time of life. Children make bad choices so you should take that into account.
^Yeah, not all suicides and suicide attempts are the same. An eighty year old with a terminal illness =/= a teenager with a hormone imbalance or a woman who had a successful pregnancy after years of trying who is now too depressed to wake up in the morning. Many doctors with terminal illness choose not to treat themselves; they've seen it far too often that in most cases they've only added months to life and not life to months.
There should be a different word for people who chose to end it when things are not able to be fixed.
