But I'm Not Dead Yet!

Real life Monty Python sketch.

“...this is not the first time we have noticed something like this.”

not uncommon across the globe for some strange (in this century) reason. How fucking hard is it to figure out if someone is dead? It takes about a minute for a quick "round robin" check and once more expert care is taken it still doesn't take too much longer. Come on China - you can learns THOUSANDS of different characters for your complicated language as children, but you can't ensure that someone is dead? The human brain never ceases to amaze me.

Good thing they don't practice embalming (another marketing gimmick from the 19th century (or 2000 BCE)).

IIRC, George Washington when he was nearing death had serious fears about being "buried prematurely" and left some instructions to assure that he was in fact deceased when they finally laid him to rest.

That was another marketing gimmick of the 19th century.

taphophobia

damn that coffin looks like some modern "prepper" shit! Anyway TAPHOPHOBIA is an awesome band name, of which we can all agree.
It sounds like some punk band Spaceturkey would listen to!

Guess we need to go back to the days of having a bell to ring in your coffin.

True! George Washington was, in fact, buried alive after his presumed death. This was only discovered after Washington desperately clawed his way out of his coffin, an event forever immortalized by the great artist John Trumbull: