He could dish it out, but he couldn’t always take it. I think he was more sensitive to certain things than he let on. I think he even mentioned having serious bouts of depression. I wish he would have calmed down a bit and relaxed a little. Of course that could have just been his online persona. I’ve never had any personal exchanges with him via PM or anything like that but he definitely put a lot of his life out there. As often as he would say Wordforge is dying and just quit this place, he still always managed to end up back here. Things will certainly be less combative around here. Who will harass Dayton from now on?
My condolences to any friends or family reading through the thread. You could tell El Chup generally gave his best effort in his contributions to the board and his posts were always worth a read as a result. His presence will be missed.
just hang in there long enough to breath right back at it! "Old man" breath is pretty nasty - that should keep it away!
I interacted once through the chat function about … something that doesn't seem very important right now...but he was pleasant and insightful, although somewhat reserved. I can certainly believe that he rode the roller coaster between depression and overexuberance. He called it as he saw it without fear or favor and truly was an equal opportunity offender. I don't think he'd mind my saying that. At any rate, that's not meant as insult, just an observation about a unique poster.
We talked quite a bit through PM, and Facebook. In those private conversations, he was always polite, patient, and earnest in what he wanted to communicate to others. We sparred, at times, but I think it's because we both wanted the same thing, but were trying to come at it from totally different angles. I am going to miss him.
I shouldn't engage in speculation, but I can't help but wonder: if he was suffering from depression, do you suppose...?
It's possible. That's the bastard about depression. You can hold up against it, and resist for a long time, and then it can hit you in just the right way where you just can't take it anymore. Since it's your own mind working against itself, it eventually figures out how to outsmart its own defenses.
Tough to say. He had a lot of health problems--though none appeared life-threatening--but, as of his recent gout thread, he expressed his intention to get into better shape.
I can smile at you, with a twinkle in my eye, laugh about eating better and going walking more often, and in my mind I'm figuring out the most efficient way to kill myself, weighing pros and cons. You'd never know until it's too late.
That's why I talk about sunshine, rainbows, and cute cartoons as often as I do. The alternative is, well, discussing the abyss.
I genuinely and sincerely hope not, but that was my thought too. Before it was confirmed, I went to the website of his firm to see if they had anything up and the firms’s website was down and has been down since I first checked after hearing the news. If he found himself cashiered and in a depressive state... ☹️
I kind of touched on that in the El Chup memorial thread. And I think that's another reason I may have not given him as much shit as I could have or wanted to at times, I didn't want to add to his depression or make it worse if he was in the midst of an episode. I really hope he didn't go in that way, I'd hate to think of him spending his last feeling lost or alone.
I didn't know him very well, but from the few clues I see on this thread I would suspect heart attack. The few people Ive known with gout were on the heavy side. Well that's enough speculation about this.
We saw a picture of him in his wig a while ago, he wasn't that robust, just the opposite, although I suppose one can always grow.
"That's why I talk about sunshine, rainbows, and cute cartoons as often as I do" - Amaris HA! Reminds me of a funny anecdote from my army years. Gather round kids, we need some levity: when I was at Fort Rucker back in the day I had a gay dude in my squad. This was right when "don't ask, don't tell" came around, so he didn't even try to hide it, because nobody was on a witch hunt or anything so it was cool. But he was like Richard Simmons cranked up to eleven! Anyway sometimes our unit would let us squad leaders take our guys to do morning PT on our own. So one time I took them to the gym for a change of pace. Anyway myself and one of my guys (nick-named Mack) were trying to out-do each other on the leg press machine. The leg press is one exercise where you can load up an insane amount of weight and not worry about blowing out your back or a knee. There's no technique you need to concentrate on - just go all out with your leg muscles and have some fun and friendly competition. Well it was Mack's turn and he put on some more weight to the stack. He was pushing with everything he had and the stack was just starting to move when the gay dude says (in a loud voice but extremely feminine gushing manner) "it's okay Mack! Just think about ice cream and puppy dogs!" Yeah, you could have heard a pin drop. Wow....hands down the fruitiest thing ever uttered in that gym no doubt! But Mack's reaction was the best. He slowly lowers the weight down without blinking an eye. Then he takes a deep breath and stares out into space for a few seconds, trying to process what he said. Then he just slowly gets up, still dazed, and walks off with a blank expression on his face. Awkward doesn't begin to describe that whole scene! Yeah, the next time we got the go-ahead to do PT with our squads I just took them to do some outdoor stuff away from a gym environment.
most people did get along with him - he was a nice guy but his skill set was......inadequate for an army career. He couldn't shoot, he couldn't drive, he couldn't salute right, he couldn't operate basic tools, etc. But he could do PT quite well so the commander liked him, because it made the company statistics look good. When he left Fort Rucker he went to Fort Drum and they had a "wear what you want to" unit run every now & again. One time we wore Daisy Dukes with a half shirt and a rainbow hat that lit up when he pressed a button. I never got to see that, a guy in my unit in Iraq who also knew him told me about it. Man that would have been a "Kodak moment" for sure!