Anyone Tired of the whole "Thanksgiving" Food Traditions?

I didn't eat much. I had forgotten that I've pretty much gotten away from a midday meal and every time I have surgery for weeks thereafter I develop a considerable aversion to breads. So all I had was two small slices of turkey and some mashed potatoes. Just enough to stop Amy's family from whining about how much weight I've lost.

Her family sounds wicked and vile.

Anyone who hates turkey can burn in the heart of the sun. Especially air fried with creole seasoning. Crispy, juicy and spicy, it’s like there’s a party in my mouth and the drugs just kicked in.

Whining about a middle aged man losing weight? What is this nation coming to? Most middle aged men look nine months pregnant these days.
Bread does pack on the pounds though if you don't limit it - skip the bread at Subway and eat the ingredients chopped up as a salad (instead of on the bread as a sandwich) and you get the same nutrition with half the calories - and it tastes awesome.

Turkey's good. Causes gout flare-ups, though.

You have to insist on trying something new to switch it up for you. for instance, if wifey insist on the traditionals, you insist on 1 or 2 new dishes to add something to it. She might like it.

You're kidding right? I can't even get deviled eggs or homemade ice cream generally because "those are summer foods".

I tell her, winter is the perfect time to make homemade ice cream. It freezes faster when the temps are 50 instead of over 90.

You're just going to have to deny her the Vienna Sausage until she gets in line.

That's insane. My wife made deviled eggs on Thursday and my dad makes them for just about every family get-together (in fact his grandchildren demand it because his recipe is so tasty).

You should make them yourself.

Making your food yourself is about as enjoyable as having sex with yourself.

Surely you of all people understand that...

I only eat it on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Other than the odd turkey sandwich every now and then.

Buh? I love to cook. Cooking is therapeutic, and it's nice to cook for the people I love.
Also, I don't mind having sex with myself. Turns out I know all the things I like.

When I found out masturbation was a sin, that was it between me and the Lord. You can't give me a penis and then bitch and moan when I'm jerkin' the gherkin.

A man who won't cook for himself ain't much of a man.

Which is apparently a solo act.

You could find a girlfriend. While it was difficult for me to do from what I've observed for most men it isn't difficult. Especially as you get older. After mom died daddy practically had to get an unlisted phone number.

I'm married. Doesn't mean I don't masturbate.

indeed! It keeps your testosterone level up, relieves stress, exercises your forearm muscles, etc.etc.

A few Thanksgivings ago, instead of roasting the turkey like it's done traditionally, I bought a $50 wood smoker and smoked it with hickory wood chunks for a few hours before finishing it off in the oven. That was the tastiest, most juicy turkey I'd ever had to be honest... particularly the thigh and leg meat. The breast meat didn't absorb as much flavor but it was still juicier than normal roasting. The whole process satiated my desire for grilling in the late fall of the Northeast. I think I'll dig that thing out before it gets too cold here. If you do that, it'll probably free your wife up to do a few more things while preserving her sense of tradition.

I don't like juicy turkey (or chicken). I like my white meat dry. I like beef juicy though. Pork can go either way. Fish doesn't matter much.

You don't know how funny this line is to us old timers!