Being friends with a married woman: Can it be done?

So business as usual, then?

As someone who isn't qualified to make a comment, I want to comment anyway.

Personally, I would think it would depend on how the husband felt about it, so the wife needs to talk to him about it. If she says he has a big problem, then it's more hassle then its worth. If he says "yes, but.." then be friends, but be keep within the boundaries he's said. If he says "sure whatever" then follow that.

So lets just say she was uglier than a hammerhead shark, would you be as willing to be her friend?

Or even circle around the notion she is 'interesting' because she cums at the thought of AdmiralAckbar?

Or.. even start this thread?

I have ugly friends, though usually I'm the ugly one in the friendship. Nerd girls and gamer girls are hard to find, let alone ones that go to my church, so I'd be her friend even if she had a mustache.

Indeed, good advice. I'd never do anything to come between a husband and wife. If he says back off, I'm gone like the wind.

Ah, the mature response of a young man who is clearly adult enough to know about these things. Please Nick, tell us more!

Thanks for illustrating my point so beautifully, kid.

What was your point? That I don't like being called a kid? Cause that's why I called you a cockgobbler.

I really don't have anything more to say about Chewie's predicament.

I thought my point was clear, you have no idea what you're talking about when speaking about marriage and relationships on that level and how to deal with the male friends of a wife. If you'll notice I even through myself into the category with you of being unqualified to give a good answer.

Irony. Delicious irony.

That only applies if the two married people don't trust each other. Why should there be a problem with you being a friend if she has a healthy marriage?
I think you just need to be careful. Be friendly, and get to know both of 'em. Just so you don't risk giving the wrong impression, don't ask her to go alone anywhere with you and you'll be fine.
There really shouldn't be a problem.

You really don't know much about the complexities of marriage, do you?

What's the point of a friend if you can't spend time with him/her?

Nope.

I'm sure Evenflow and Sean trust their wife.

I trust my fiance.

Regardless, if it were MY girl Chewie was getting so chummy with, I'd shut him down fast.

Most men trust their wives, they just know better than to trust other men.

Oh dude! Can I ever relate. I've got a friend who recently married. She's the cutest thing imaginable, and for some reason, we just seem naturally drawn to each other whenever there are large ( or small :flow2: ) social gatherings. We always smile at each other, and there always seems to be one of those 'our eyes meet from across the room' moments, regularly.

We used to always talk a lot, but I've had to cut back real quick recently, because I was finding I was feeling a little too anxious to see her whenever the church had a social gathering. It's bad when there are tons of single women there, and you start wondering if you'll get to see her tonight. Add that she's always complaining that her husband is working and doesn't spend enough time with her, and I know I'm starting to play with the fire.

I'd say if you are always meeting in a public place, you're fine, as long as you're also talking to other people. But I'd draw the line at taking her out to coffee or hanging out alone with just the two of you. There are just certain boundaries that should not be crossed, or even approached, especially if it's a church-related setting.

Speaking of which, guess who's husband just called to invite me out to the church Christmas Eve party? :flow2:

Break that marriage up and conquer that booty, Chewie.

Put yourself in this scenario, and be honest with yourself.

Now, if you take #1, you're gay. If you take #2, you've helped commit adultery against her husband and most likely destroyed a family.

Since you don't want to ever put yourself in such a situation (you don't want to be gay, do you?), I would advise you to reduce the amount of contact you have with this lady. Otherwise, keep asking her if she needs a lift to the airport.

When I was in ROTC my two best friends were male and female cadets. They ended up married. I still spend time with them when I can, together, or seperately. There's no tension, sexual or jealousy. My wife doesn't get it, but the three of us are like the Three Musketeers.

Thoughts?


It's a trap!

IMO you might as well just juggle hand grenades while you're at it.
As long as the pins stay in, everything will be just fine.

No matter how it starts off, things will escalate. Don't get involved!

To quote the great Chris Rock, men don't have platonic friends, they have women they haven't ...fucked ...yet.

I'd been vaguely seeing some guy, but nothing came of it. He sent a flirty text a few weeks ago, asking if I wanted to meet up properly (we'd only been meeting up after going out drinking), and I told him I wasn't sure I had the time, because I was very busy with my new boyfriend. He sent another message a few days later, when I was with the boyfriend, and I wasn't sure if I should reply or not. I talked to the bf, and explained that although this guy was interested in me, I hadn't met many people my age, and if he tried it on, I would shoot him down. I explained that if I actually wanted to be with the guy, then I would have been, and asked him if he had a problem with me keeping contact, because as it was someone new, I would allow him some input (i.e. if he tried to "tell" me not to talk to a friend of a few years, he has no right to say that.) After I explained, he said he trusted me to look after myself, and that I could see the guy as much as I wanted.

Never actually became an issue because I realised a week later I hadn't replied, but the point stands. Some men trust their girlfriends to be able to make their own judgements about what's appropriate and what isn't.

It's different when you're just dating someone.

Why, because when a woman gets married she becomes incapable of looking after herself? Or because no-one gives a toss about one another until the cake's been cut? Or because once you get married, you can't trust each other anymore? (oh no! WE got married? We MUST have bad judgement! Quick, we must dictate friendships to each other! OH NOES! IT'S THE OPPOSITE SEX!!)

Please, expand on your point.

For some yes, for others no.

If you want dating to turn into something more, than you have to treat it that way.

I like how Mini handled it. Flow and I never talked about the new friend I made 5 years ago, we had a good amount of our interests in common and so forth. We didn't get together alone but we did see each other in public, and talked on the phone every now and again. And I never said anything negative about Flow to him. He was a new friend and I went with the above mentioned "guys don't have platonic friends......" line. Better safe than sorry. Flow and I even went to see the second matrix movie with him and a couple others.

As soon as he started to make unwanted comments I started to distance myself from him and as soon as I could I cut all contact.

So, if she starts to talk to you about problems with her marriage she is starting to wander into the emotional cheating side of things. The problems she is haveing should be between her and her husband or old friends, NOT new, male, interesting, and possible "mates" friends. (This includes complaining.)

But it all comes down to trust. If you trust someone than you trust them and don't have to worry.

Well that is a rambling post. Hope you all can figure your way through it.

Yeah, you've obviously never been married!

Well I dunno. A lot of my female friends are getting married soon. Should I get married to, just so they will remain my friend? Or do I have to cut ties?

They are already friends.

It's just the new friendships that need to be weary, at least for awhile.

I think you should marry a prostitute so you can remain friends with your female friends.

Expensive.

Though, possibly cheaper than a wife.

I didn't say you had to get one of those high class escorts as a wife, I was thinking of something more along the lines of a Katrina Refugee.