Can someone explain soap to me???

Yup. You read it right. Soap. The stuff we rub on ourselves to get clean and nice smelling when we're in the shower.

Specifically this whole "body wash" trend.

See, I thought soap was pretty straightforward. You take stuff that makes you clean and somehow make it into a bar that sits on a shelf in your bath. Oh, sure, the technology has changed a bit--perfumes, skin conditioners, etc--but it's still basically the same stuff we've had for hundreds of years.

It's really hard to come up with a more elegant solution. Oh, sure there was a brief phase in the '70s, where they experimented with putting it on a "rope" so you were less likely to drop it, should you be showering in a place where bending over in the shower is an issue. But other than that soap has pretty much been the same for hundreds of years.

Until a couple years ago. Now, increasingly, soap doesn't come as a solid bar, it comes as a liquid, in a plastic bottle. And to use it you need a little mesh scrunchy. And this is where I get confused.

What, pray tell, is the benefit gained from putting it in a bottle? Now you've got a new petroleum-based container to throw out when you use up your soap. And you've got a fucking petroleum-based scrunchy thing that you now need to find a place in your shower to hang. What is gained by this?

I ask because I recently gave in and bought my last soap in a bottle. It's Axe, so it is supposed to make women throw their panties at me or something. And it came with a cool neon-green suction cup thingie, so I can stick the bottle to the wall in my shower.

But the last few nights the novelty has been wearing off. I don't want to fuck around with a bottle and a scrunchy and squeezing soap onto the scrunchy, squeezing the scrunchy to get lather, and then applying more soap to the scrunchy as I use it up. I just want to pick up a bar of soap and rub it on my body. One step--simple, easy, effective.

Unless someone can explain the benefit I gain from the scrunchy and the liquid soap.

I think it's more about exfoliating than just getting soapy clean. You see, for those of us who have that kind of skin that likes to create dandruff, exfoliating makes it possible for us to walk around without looking like we've stepped in from the blizzard raging outside. That's all.

Plus, I use Axe Snake Peel. I don't care if it brings teh womens or not, I use it because it exfoliates better than any other body wash I've used so far.


J.

The scrunchy is supposed to be more effective at removing dead skin cells. A rough towel will do just as well, of course, but the scrunchy is as good as a sponge at getting lots of lather going.

And, naturally, I reuse or recycle the plastic bottles...

...you know you're gonna get at least five gay jokes out of this, right?

Christ man, you use the mesh scrunchy?

Just get a rough washcloth. Squeeze a couple quarter size dollops onto it when it is folded into quarters, rub them together, dash briefly under the water, and start scrubbing yourself down!

Now, you can also eliminate the application apparatus altogether. Squeeze some into your hands, and start rubbing like those male models in the commercials. They ain't getting the panties thrown at them for using Axe, that's for damn sure. Unfortunately, you'll go through the body wash faster, which is, I would imagine, exactly what these companies would like.

You know what I don't get? This new "hair and body wash" stuff. Nonono. The hair on my head and the hair under my arms are not the same, why on earth would you use the same soap for it?

Shampoo and conditioner, all the way. Not that two-in-one bullshit either.

Wait, wait. So I shouldn't use the hair and body wash? Because I have in the past.


J.

Well, it ain't gonna kill you or anything.

Just that shampoos and conditioners have less of the "killing bad things" stuff that goes into body washes and more vitamins and such - less damaging to your hair and, I'd imagine, your scalp.

I also use a separate face wash as well simply because the skin on my face is so much more sensitive than, well, my skin everywhere else.

I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.

OK, ok, that last one wasn't true, but it is a quote from a movie . Anyway, I think it's probably pretty great for trips or whatever where space is tight, but when you're at home, you've got room to break out the good stuff.

For me, my hair, wavy and unruly as it can be, probably ranks right up with my voice in terms of my best physical assets, so I'm going to treat it well .

So are you and Volpone now competeing to see who gets a gay joke thrown at him first in this thread?

All I know about the scrunchy is it's a LOT more fun to "help" Mary get clean with.

I use a scrunchy and body wash now, because it's a very quick was to get a good foamy wash that really feels like it scrubbing off the dirt.

And you can but organic loofa's...I use an oatmeal body wash in a recycled plastic bottle. (I *LOVE* oatmeal soap.)

I can't remember where I saw it exactly, but I saw a science show recently that said that you meed a different kind of soap in your hair than on you skin, because the skin soap you use would mess up your hair (hell, even run out of shampoo and just try bar soap? Don't work...) but hair soap doesn't really clean skin without irritating it. One's detergent, the other isn't - so I forget which is which.

I know, like I have said from experience, that standard bar soap will fuck up my hair, and sometimes I have run out of body wash and just used shampoo and it makes my skin itchy.

So I don't know WHAT they use in those "Hair & Body" wash things that works on both...what kind of soap or detergent they use....??? I tried that Old Spice 2-in-one hair & body, but it made my hair smell really weird after a few hours. I hated the smell. It was nasty stufff and I'll NEVER buy it again. I do now use a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner, because my air needs conditioner (I have shitty hair) and it just saves time to do both at once, especially when I am in a hurry and may feel like just skipping the conditioner. Just takes too link to condition, especially since unlike shampoo, the conditioner doesn't foam up and spread easily. But the 2-in-1 has soap, so it's gets foamy.

Lately I use this kid's brand 2-in-1 shampoo+conditioner...some stuff by Suave...it laves my hair feeling very soft, and I like the "flavors". Pl;us I usually have it around for the kids anyway. And I stretch it out with just some cheap $0.99 shampoo, which probably isn't the best thing for my hair.

But today in the drugstore I saw some Suave Kids 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash, so I picked up a bottle and figure I'll try it, what they hell...

You know most straight men try to spend less time on complicated grooming procedures in the bathroom...

It's simple:

"This is a story about two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell. These are the Tates. And these are the Campbells, together they make SOAP"

Cheapest soap on the shelf and Pert Plus, stat.

I gotta get to work!

If you're not using a steel wool pad and industrial strength degreaser in the shower, then you're a gay.

Uncle Albert would be great in a thread like this

For bar soap, I like Lever, it's nice and lathery. For shower gel, I usually get some Bath & Body men's shower gel for my birthday or Christmas. And use a good thick washrag with it, like someone else suggested.

The best soap out there is Irish Springs. It's magically delicious.

Wait a minute...

You bathe with it. It lathers up and cleans the dirt, BO, and dead skin cells from your body.

If you'd wash your scaly ass with it every now and then, you might finally get that long sought after reach around.

It's more likely I'm confused because my mom was washing out my potty mouth with a bar of Irish Springs....

Camay. Just the soap. No loofa, scrunchy, or even cloth. Just the soap. Like a man.

I use plain, old Dial soap. It's as good a soap as you'll find. You don't need Triclosan and all those antibacterial additives. The alkalinity of plain soap is sufficient to kill bacteria.

Soap? I bathe in the blood of my enemies for that fresh "right out of the battle" smell.

It's what he's gunning for. Confirmation and comfort from his peers

I didn't start using liquid soap until I moved into a new apartment, and the water was too hard to get the soap to lather properly.


Also use shampoo as body wash occasionally. Is that bad?

Dial yellow bar soap.

Outside of the goatee, I have no hair on my head to "shampoo."

Aw, he's just trying to figure out if those trips to Bath & Body Works are worth the effort.

I thought this was going to be about a soap opera. LOL.

Bar soap is good enough for me. Easier to use (and less messy) than bottled soap.

So, Volpone, how much does a bottle of Irish Sperm go for?

Old Spice Body Wash. Or actually the Exchange Select knockoff.

Here, here, I'll try.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Listen, you fucking piece of shit, no man uses any fucking liquid soap on his body. You SHOULD BE FUCKING SHOT FOR THAT.





There's only two kinds of goddamn soap you use on your fucking body. For your face and head, it's fucking Borax, and then, for the rest, it's fucking Lava Soap. Anything else and you're a dickless fucking shit fuck piece of shit and if you disagree with me YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.





Man, it just isn't the same .