A bit of housekeeping here. A lot of you don't read the Blue Room threads, but the board policy is that one cannot take what one learns in the Blue Room and share it elsewhere. However, I just posted something there that I intend for everyone to be comfortable with and treat as if I had said "I'm gonna get married" or some other bit of news. If you want all the gory details click here: http://wordforge.net/showthread.php?p=1815722#post1815722 So, in order to keep anyone from getting in trouble by releasing that Blue Room content elsewhere, I'll post the basics here. I am not doing this for further attention, or any self-serving purpose - and I'm not doing it in the Red Room because I don't want it to turn into a troll-fest. I do so only to make a distinction between what is "protected Blue Room content" and what is information you are free to reference anywhere on the board. The big story is that I am a transsexual. I am in the very very early stages of embracing this and, within the confines of being exceedingly broke, doing what I can to transition my appearance and adjust my relationships. My ideal outcome would be to be accepted as a woman both here and in real life, though I recognize that will be very difficult for everyone. Feel free to ask any (Green Room appropriate) questions and don't worry about giving offense if you ask respectfully. BTW, I will ask that my username be changed soon - I'm thinking about "Crysalis" as a possibility but I invite any suggestions. Got to run out for a bit, not sure how long I'll be off line but I'll catch up on everything as soon as I can.
To be honest I think most people are going to either be too shocked to know how to respond, or think this is a troll, or a bit of both.
Wow. Let me just say that you're the last person in the world that I thought would go that route. But, who am I to judge? So, good luck. I've always liked you, and I don't give a fuck who you are. Oh, can I start a RR thread? PLEASE??? Nothing personally against you, honestly.....but we could have so much fun with this. Yes, I probably am an ass for wanting that. Sorry.
Okay...I can't stand it anymore... You can always change your name to Shepherdess. Someone had to say it.
I don't think I will. That would require me to actually have an opinion on it, as opposed to simply being indifferent to it for the most part. In other words, I'm not going to be the guy saying 'yes do this' or 'no don't do that.' Your life, your choice.....and I'm sure you've looked at all the possible consequences/benefits that you get from choosing a path like this. So I support YOU, and not the decisions you make.
All I can say is good luck! And Flashlight's going to be in a for a BIG surprise when he decides to check in again!
The BR and GR don't get much traffic. If I were doing something like this, I'd kinda want to just get it over with. I know you said you don't to post this there b/c of the trolling, but want me to make a thread directing people here. That way the word would get out, but if all it said were: HEY EVERYONE READ THIS THREAD then most discussion would take place here, and you wouldn't have to deal with the RR trolling.
Well, I'm not opposed to that. i just don't want to start three separate narcissistic threads, nor did I want to force a Red Room or Blue Room choice. This is kind of neutral ground. To be clear though, I'm not under any ilusion trolling won't happen and that's fine - comes with the territory. i just wanted a vehicle that wasn't ONLY trolling.
I'm not at all surprised. In fact, I had called it for years. Remember my poll that got pruned from 2006: Is Shep a Girl-Boy? Yea or Nay? IIRC, the yeas had it.
Hey, it's your deal... uh... was gonna say man... this is going to be weird. Anyway, I only offered b/c I (accurately) figured you might not want to have three threads started by you on it. If you don't want it, I won't do it.
No, it's ok by me. Go ahead. It's probably best it not start out with a hard troll from the OP like some might do anyway. and don't sweat the "man" - besides not being anal about that, you got to remember that girls get referred to by "man" or "dude" in off the cuff remarks a lot anyway - it's pretty generic.
Shep. This is not going to solve your problems. This is going to make your life a lot more difficult. Take a look at Michael Jackson. Your friend -Kevan
Of this, I am not unaware. the twisted irony of all this is that doing the"more difficult" thing is the only way to get peace. and I'm not just talking about me but the thousands of others who have gone before me. It doesn't make sense, but it is nonetheless true.
Frankly, I doubt it is something anyone can truly understand unless they are living it. All the rest of us can do is listen, try to get it and be as supportive as we can. Of course, this is WF and you know the teasing will be eternal...but that is more a reflection of the WF way than anything malicious I think. Kind of like squabbling siblings IRL...no matter how much they care they will try and kill each other at every opportunity for the fun of it.
Are you attracted to men? Would you have any reservations about being in a relationship with someone who also changed their sex to the one of your preference? Just curious.
I went into this a bit in the blue room thread but the short answer is: Presently, I am not. I am told that once you start HRT that sometimes shifts and I'm not afraid of that possibility. In fact, on some weird level, I'm somewhat curious about what that process might feel like. There's also a part of me that feels like being at least romantic, if not sexual, with a man is the "crown jewel" of becoming female BUT all that said, no, I never feel any lust for males at this point. As for your second question - would I be open to a relationship with another trans person? Well, with the caveat that all of this depends on how my relationship with my wife evolves, I would not have any hesitation about being involved with such a person.
Shep, I acknowledge your courage in coming forth with an admission like this. You probably understand full well that a lot of people in the world simply won't accept you on this basis. I'm afraid I'm one of them. I don't pretend to understand the feeling of having been born the wrong gender but it's irrelevent: you are the gender you are. Any action you take to deny this is pretense. Illusion. You are NOT a woman and no matter how you dress, how you act, or how you surgically or hormonally mutilate yourself you never will be. Your actions along these lines will have profound consequences, not just for you, but for your family. You've already placed your wife--a person who committed to you as a man and gave you a family--in what must surely be an unbearable dilemma. With the children only a few years from being out of the house, does she now look forward to a few happy years with her husband? No. She now has to choose between assuming an intimate relationship with this new person she would never have chosen, or starting over again. Sucks to be her, I guess. You've already noted the ridiculousness of being a 45-year-old man assuming a feminine appearance. I hope your kids are strong enough to endure the ridicule that will come their way. I hope they're proud enough of you that they can introduce their transexual father to their friends, dates, co-workers, etc. without profound humiliation. That's truly my hope for them, but I sense it will be very, very difficult. Your economic situation--already quite fragile from the sounds of things--is headed for greater dissolution, I'm afraid. I doubt very seriously you will succeed in Mississippi, especially with the limited skills you bring to the market. I don't see many employers willing to put a transexual--particularly an obvious one--in a position that meets the public. Should she stay with you, your wife will be the sole breadwinner for the foreseeable future, a heavy burden on her, to be sure. I could be wrong--indeed, if you proceed, I hope I am. But I don't think I am. You'd be better off leaving your family--your wife is still young enough that she may find someone else--and move to a city with a large gay community. You will find more (but not universal) acceptance there and may be able to find work. Or you can get help and stop this senseless self-destruction before you lose everything. I'm not happy about this (I'm sure you can tell) and I'm gonna have to think about how I relate to you in the future. But I wish you luck no matter which way you go.
I have to say I don't get this. Particularly when your relationship is relating on a BBS...what major difference could his change of lifestyle really have here? A change of pronouns? So..he is and will always be genetically male...he even conceeds this fact. Why is how someone else chooses to present themselves to the world so disturbing to you? Are you angry because I dye my hair a brighter red than I was born with? Was my earlier life as a blonde a shocking debacle since my natural shade is a honey-red? Sure, this is more extreme, but essentially not that different.
I disagree. I have no doubt that a person could be born with the anatomy of one gender and the brain chemistry of another. Do you remember Megatrons thread about gay mens brains being similar to womens brains? I can see transsexuals having something like that going on, only far more advanced. Life is anything but binary. Good luck, Shep.
It might surprise you to know that I consider each of the people I interact with here to be just as real as people I interact with IRL. Hell, I get more conversation--and more deep conversation--with many people on this board than I ever could in real life. You and Shep and everyone else here (well, almost everyone else here) are as real to me as anyone. So superficial. What if you decided you wanted to grow a penis and 5 o'clock shadow and Zel wasn't real sure he wanted to sleep with you anymore? Would you be angry at Zel for not accepting you, even though you've undergone an extreme change from the person he committed to? The difference between the hurdle you can jump over and one you can't is only a fraction of an inch.
No, I won't. Genetically. But there are thousands out there who go through life living as a gender other than there genetic gender and no one but their doctor knows a thing. for every practical purpose, they ARE women (or men, as it were) With the right chain of events I can live in the social role of one, and with enough fortune, do so convincingly - and that's a place of more inner peace than I have had so far. You see, the thing you are missing here is that we don't do this because of some biological or genetic test - it's a matter of finding the place where you fit into the world, even if it is just an illusion in your own mind. Worst case scenario - I'm swapping the illusion I put on for all of you for the illusion I put on for myself - either would be a falsehood in one sense or another. Nothing here I am unaware of. There is no good solution here. If I continue to repress it and do nothing then she gets to live with a person who's depressed and miserable for reasons she cannot discern and will eventually blame herself for. That's not peachy either. In my communications with others who have been through similar experiences, the kids handle it far better than the adults do. Generally if there is a negative it's anger though. If they don't get angry then they usually seem to handle it well. However, it must also be said that just because society has an unfortunate obsession with cultural customs regarding gender behavior doesn't mean that we ought to just resign ourselves to submission to it (either as the trans or as the loved ones). By what natural law is it written that a man must never wear a skirt? It's nothing but a cultural custom and I really have never raised my kids to be slaves to such tradition anyway. Agreed, but then the situation can hardly be worse. Barring something highly unexpected it all falls apart within a couple of months anyway. that said, I've looked over the edge of that cliff before. And the reality is that the sort of jobs I'll lose a chance at by being unorthodox in appearance are not jobs I was going to get anyway. (With the exception of teaching if we allow the possibility I'd luck into a teaching job) Discussing all the way my employment situation is fucked up involves a lot more data than a recent change in apperance. Well, laying aside her prospects, replacing the income level we have been surviving off of for the last almost 10 years (save one) wouldn't be a "heavy burden" for anyone. I think this is probably right but it's not what she wants. We'll cross that bridge when the time comes. I've spent over two decades trying to put an end to it. Words cannot express how much ever rational part of my brain says this is a bad thing. not because it's necessarily bad on it's own but because of the real-world implications in a society which considers you a "freak" One shouldn't assume there is anything cavalier, casual, or not well thought out about this. As I've said, I respect everyone's right to the reaction that they have. And on that note I decline to get into an exchange of views back and forth and back again on this tangent. As to the future I can only say this - if you can't interact, it's no sweat, I respect that. BUT if you interact here regularly with those who's behavior you wouldn't condone if your opinion were ask, then you can file me in the same category. If you avoid interacting with such folks, then avoid me. Either way, you are entitled.
Well, I would stay away from surgery if I were you. I generally don't agree with people undergoing surgical procedures for non-medical or cosmetic reasons. There is too much of chance of something going wrong with the procedure. Hell, look at MJ. Dude had a heart attack at 50. His parents and all his siblings are still alive. I'm almost sure it is a result of all the crazy surgeries he has had in his life. To me, surgery is not worth it. Wear a skirt or makeup or whatever but I'd stay away from irreversible procedures. Once you go down that road, you can't come back from it. Of course I am no medical doctor... but I am close enough to the field to know a thing or two about it. My two cents.
