More reasons I love my wife: when it's time for the dog's dinner, Mary says to her (in whatever Arnold voice she can manage), "Come with me if you want to eat."
"It's good to be the king." There are numerous classics from "Blazin' Saddles", but they may be warning-worthy.
As long as you don't direct the dialog AT any member here, I don't think there would be a problem with you reciting the entire screenplay.
"Oh boys, looka what I got he-ah!" "Hey, where da white women at?" "Good morning, Mrs. Johnson. And ain't it a lovely morning?" "Up yours, nigger!" "Excuse me while I whip this out!" "Is it twue what they say about your kind? Oh it's twue....it's twue it's twue!" "On behalf of the Welcoming Committee, I'd like to offer a laurel and hardy handshake to our new........nigger." "One move and the nigger gets it! Oh Laudy, do what he say....do what he say." "Alright, we'll take the niggers and the chinks, but we don't want the Irish!" General roar of outrage. "Awe prairie shit...everybody!"
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. Gol durnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue purtier'n a twenty dollar whore. (way, way too many)
Jim: I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. Bart: Are we awake? Jim: We're not sure. Are we... black? Bart: Yes, we are. Jim: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled. Taggart: Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks. Dark Helmet: I bet she gives great helmet. Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids. Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess. Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?
Son, stocks may rise and fall, utilities and transportation systems may collapse. People are no damn good, but they will always need land. And they'll pay through the nose to get it.
Alonzo Mosely: Let me tell you something, asshole. I've been working on this Jimmy Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I'm gonna bring him into federal court, and I don't want any third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn't cut it as a cop in Chicago bringing him to LA on some bullshit local charge. Do I make myself understood? Jack Walsh: Can I ask you something? These sunglasses, they're really nice: are they government-issued, or all you guys go to the same store to get them? Dr. Vicktor Lillolman: Working? Hmm, working. Working is a big word. I'm a consultant. It's a fancy title for a part-time job. Nurse Diesel: Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup. Anna Bronski: [as the Nazis are searching for Sasha] First you invade Poland, then you invade Warsaw, then you invade my dressing room... you people are compulsive invaders! Colonel Earhardt: Vat do you mean you haven't got proof? Dat is no excuse! Arrezt zem! Vat? Vere? Vy? VEN? From now on, ven in doubt, arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Zen shoot zem and interrogate zem! Oh, you are right, just shoot zem!
Why do you wear pajamas all day? The soldiers. They took all our clothes away. My dad's a soldier, but not the sort that takes people's clothes away.
"They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!!!" "Thank you sir, may I have another." "You're going to pork Marlene Desmond?" "Pork?" "You're going to hump her brains out?" "Boone, I anticipate a deeply religious experience."
"You are a P - I - G, pig!" "See if you can guess what I am now..." {puts red jello in his mouth, then hits cheeks with fists, spewing jello all over} "I'm a zit, Z - I - T, zit!"
"Oh that's right, Pvt. Pyle. Don't make any fucking effort to get up to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God wanted you up there, He would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't He?"
In olden days of crappy, bootlegged VHS tapes, we rewound that about 8 times before deciding it was cafeteria-style rice--you know, super-sticky and served with an ice cream scoop.
Col. Max Radl: A wink from a pretty girl at a party results rarely in climax, Karl. But a man is a fool not to push a suggestion as far as it will go. Liam Devlin: Give me another one of those Bolshevik firecrackers. I think I fell asleep in the snow! Ben Yussuf: The Prophet has commanded us to rule the world. Where in all your land of Spain is the glory of Allah? When men speak of you they speak of poets, musicmakers, doctors, scientists. Where are your warriors? You dare to call youselves sons of the Prophet? You have become women! Burn your books! Make warriors of your poets! Let you doctors invent new poisons for our arrows. Let you scientists invent new war machines! And then, kill! Burn! Infidels live on your frontiers. Encourage them to kill each other. And when they are weak and torn, I will sweep up from Africa, and the empire of the One God, the true God, Allah, will spread, first across Spain, then across Europe, then the whole world! Ford Fairlane: Conversation with Zuzu Petals was like masturbating with a cheese grater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful. Ford Fairlane: So many assholes... So few bullets... Prince John: Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we're gonna have a lot of fun, huh? Mel Funn: [seen as an insert title] Mr. Marceau, how would you like to appear in the first silent movie made in nearly fifty years? Marcel Marceau: [the only line actually heard in the film] No! Spoon: Know what this reminds me of? Rourke's Drift. 100 men of Harlech, making a desperate stand against 10,000 Zulu warriors. Outnumbered, surrounded, staring death in the face and not flinching for a moment. Balls of British steel. Joe: You're bloody loving this, aren't you? Spoon: All right, you bastards... [ignites flare] Spoon: Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough! Spoon: [pause] Well, come on, you beauties! Spoon: I hope I give you the shits, you fucking wimp.
We deal in lead. Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true? Yeah, sure. Everything. After awhile you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out? Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none.
Do. Or do not. There is no "try". Luminous beings are we, not this...crude matter. I find your lack of faith disturbing. I'm altering the deal. Pray that I do not alter it any further.
