how will the poster above you die, group edition

rather than spam up the place with the latest one liner gone wild featuring vanity options jsut come up with one or two of your own for whomever...

like, Federal Farmer will probably wind up on a milk carton after the crossing guard leaves town.

Stabbed by an underage prostitute on PCP.

Spaceturkey died in a catastrophic event involving an 8 foot Lego tower. He was found with copious amounts of THC still in his system.

Rabies.

Faceman realizes that being a lawyer is no way for any human being to live and kills himself.

Rimming someone with rabies.

Eating a poisoned donut.

Unlikely. Poisoned eclair, possibly. But I rarely bother with desserts.

Poisoned bottle of Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio, better.

Poisoned Scotch, superb - the taste would mask even the strongest toxin.

Plus, I die drinking Scotch and I'll assume it's my own choice. It's why I guzzle the stuff.

If I think you've poisoned me, I'll claw myself out of the grave.

And raid a store for Scotch.

@Diacanu will die of loneliness

Buried alive in a pile of frozen anchovies.

Only if you die first, or you'll be there pointing and laughing in lieu of anything more productive.

If you DO die first, D will die eating the anchovies.

^^^ Mauled to death by a polar bear.

I own a mini-polar bear (West Highland White Terrier) so it's possible.

Falling out of the Ivory Tower.

Goes postal, murder/suicide.

Stabbed in the kidney by Critical Race Theory.

Accidentally killed by the monkeys throwing a bone at the Megillah, but misses.

Is already dead.

Fakes death because he’s a soldier of fortune on the run from the government over a crime he didn’t commit.

Makes three posts in the thread in an attempt to make the thread about himself, thereby turning the board software into a super AI that turns against him and changes his high school grades to Fs, and so he dies in a gutter somewhere with a Joe Rogan podcast playing on his Zune over his dollar store earbuds.

^AIDS paper cut

In a Zune research rabbit hole.

Killed by scissors, used by The Question.

Klystron overload.

Chokes on dick.

In a stunning reversal no one saw coming, chokes on Tuttle's balls

not sure how, but it'll have something to do with Saskatchewan.

Gets kidnapped, then shot as being smuggled to the south.

Gets gassed by the mayor of Portland.

I will have done me civic duty