Flay the baby and spread the skin out as a chute. Easy. Next. Of course, you could just take the baby's parachute off it and open it yourself. It's a fucking baby. But why not enjoy yourself?
Christian Baby, you know suicide is a mortal sin, right? I'll be fine in Limbo, you will burn in hell. Hahhahahaha. Stupid baby.
There's some nutjob on Quora that keeps asking absurd Christian Baby themed questions. Atheists, imagine you and a Christian baby are being mugged. The criminal is mad at the Christian baby and decides to shoot it. Suddenly, it cuts to slow motion and you’re able to jump in the way of the bullet. Would you save the Christian baby? - Quora Atheists, imagine you are babysitting a Christian baby who suddenly starts doing a handstand and says he won't stop until you convert to Christianity. Are you willing to go to jail for letting his arms break to protect your faith? - Quora Atheists, imagine there’s 300 Christian babies in front of you but next to them there’s 300 scientific papers on evolution, and there’s a fire. Are you still an atheist if you choose to save the Christian babies? - Quora Atheists, imagine you’re a famous baseball player and are about to bat the winning hit. Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby at you. Would you still hit the baby out of the stadium and win millions, or spare the Christian baby? - Quora
Okay… now I’m hearing those questions raised in the voice of a narrator in a racist Jello commercial…
according to the wording of the statement the baby has their own parachute. So it depends on my mood. If I have taken my happy pills then I pull the baby's parachute and then mine because it has little baby arms and it is not like it is going to stop me. If I have not taken my demon be gone pills I wait until I am close enough that the zoom function on my camara works, pull my chute while saying thank you lucifer for this glorious picture, and then zoom in on the baby while recording the impending splat. Who am I kidding, I do not pull the baby's chute even if I have taken my happy pills. If the baby is talking and already trying to blackmail me into joining the jesus cult, good riddance. That is a bad baby. I do not want to fuck with any talking baby demanding me to do things for their make believe god.
The question does not say you do not have your own chute, just that the baby won't open their chute which is pretty much threatening me with a good time. Talking babies are creepy.
That last question is ridiculous. It is, I mean, would be physically impossible to hit a home run with a baseball bat plus a thrown baby. Regardless of its religious affiliation.
what if instead of a baseball bat you had a tennis racket type of thing with a trampoline type center so you didn't resident evil the baby? Then you could maybe hit a home run, or at least try without destroying the baby's weak flesh.
Yeah this. A baby that suddenly has the ability to talk and be understood through the wind of skydiving, but doesn’t implicitly realize this, is maybe proof of something supernatural (or at least something heretofore considered science-fiction), but it’s clearly NOT Christianity. Whatever it is, you can’t trust it, and whatever it wants falling Christians for, it seems unwise to let it have it.
How old is this baby that is able to pick up a gun, take it off the safety, aim, and shoot; but can’t get his/her dumb ass to safety? I’d pick up the baby, strap it into the car seat, baby swing, or whatever other baby stuff. No more risk of broken appendages. If there are scientific papers, they are on some sort of digital media anyway. Who would consider a person’s religion then leave them to die in a fire? Oh, right. Christians. What?
No, you would do what you always do, like the stank off of UA's taint in the back of a brokedick jeep. You have made this abundantly clear, and my mind is forever scarred by your bragging about it. Yes, it has traumatized me, and I am probably never going to get over that vision. This is your thanks for bragging so much about it I have to know about it.
