I Am Not a Dual - AMA

Would Dayton ever post when he's really high?

You must not have seen the above.

I see exactly what you mean. If you’re not a dual, explain why you’re so uninteresting.

Also:
2. What’s your favorite novel? Genre(s)?
3. Is it okay to be white?
4. True or False: the 80’s was a great decade for Trek.
5. You said you’re weak at math — which is code for ‘I’m a Democrat.’ So, Donald Trump... disagree with or hate?
6. If only [blank], the country would be a better place.
7. In the form of a haiku, why do you think you’ll be a good fit for WordForge?

I will give you some advice since you are probably me anyway.

Never ever tell everyone here you are a master troll. Two reasons. First they will accuse you of being me, and you do not want that. Second it really seems to piss them off. No, I mean they have fucking meltdowns over it. It is like I personally pissed in their cornflakes or something.

Oh, and don't get too hot on me. That is the boy's job and he will cut a bitch to be my number one fanboy.

Oh my, I get to answer these before @oldfella1962 .

2. The glass bead game. Philosophical or psychological exploration
3. Not in bowling
4. They were the best decade.
5. True
6. Japan was more like it was in anime
7. I don't do poetry.

If the answer is that he wouldn't post high, I would send seven grams of white widow shatter to support the cause.

1. Why am I uninteresting? I am uninteresting because my personality is dull, my posts are drivel, and I'm dumb to boot. I have nothing new to say.

2. My favorite novel? That's too hard to answer even if you narrow it down to gender. Catch-22 will be my pick for today.

3. Is it okay to be white? Is it okay for a white person in the US to whine that their whiteness puts them at some sort of disadvantage? Is it okay for people to miss the point of Black Lives Matter by smugly saying "All Lives Matter"? I don't think so, but whatever.

4. True or False: the 80’s was a great decade for Trek. True, obviously.

5. You said you’re weak at math — which is code for ‘I’m a Democrat.’ So, Donald Trump... disagree with or hate? Are you saying Republicans tend to be better at math? Are these the same Republicans that think the earth is 10000 years old? I disagree with Donald Trump but I don't know the guy, so saying I hate him would be a little extreme.

6. If only health care and a quality education were considered inalienable human rights, the country would be a better place. OHF THIS IS WHY YER BAD AT MATH LOL

7. In the form of a haiku, why do you think you’ll be a good fit for WordForge?

My life means nothing

I get boners from posting

I’m not a dual

I wanna play! I wanna play!

Kids? Pets?
No kids, two cats.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
No. Ick.

Do you sing in the shower? Dance with the vacuum?
Yes, I sometimes sing in the shower. No, I don't dance with the vacuum in the pale moonlight.

Any irrational fears?
That reincarnation is real.

What's your knowledge gap? (Mine is technology - I fail at computers)
Sports trivia.

Brand loyal to anything?
Bounty paper towels.

Shittiest car you've ever owned?
Chevy Astrovan. Bleh.

Pepsi or Coke products?
Pepsi.

What’s your favorite novel? Genre(s)?
Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers, by Harry Harrison. In general, science fiction.

Is it okay to be white?
Yes, but it's not easy being green.

True or False: the 80’s was a great decade for Trek.
Trek novels, yes. Anything else, no.

You said you’re weak at math — which is code for ‘I’m a Democrat.’ So, Donald Trump... disagree with or hate?
He's an orange buffoon, but I don't hate him.

If only [blank], the country would be a better place.
If only people would think more about the long term, the country would be a better place.

In the form of a haiku, why do you think you’ll be a good fit for WordForge?
I used to own it
Then could not take it anymore
Freedom with the sale

• I glanced at the ring on my finger. The Snake That Eats Its Own Tail, Forever and Ever … I know where I came from — but where did all you zombies come from?

I can recognize Heinlein anywhere.

Considering your history of stalking Lt Mewa, this is not a good look for you

Correct

Judges accept this answer.

Trick question. No response would be acceptable.

Correct

Incorrect.

Incorrect. The correct answer is “the Jews were rounded up.” So close.

Line 3 assumes the word ‘dual’ is 2 syllables, which it technically is — but it doesn’t sound euphonic and makes for an ambiguous meter. So the the haiku was incorrect.

Here at WF, the standards for acceptance are astonishingly low. Rarely does one manage to find a way to fall short of the minimum requirements for entry. You need a score of 10% or higher to prove you’re not a dual. We’ll take anybody who’s not in the lower tenth percentile. Unfortunately you scored 9/100. This means you’re either severely mentally retarded or... a dual. Which is it?

I'd like a re-evaluation by someone more likely to be biased in my favor.

Good work, me. We fooled them. For it is I, M. Bison, who opened a new account as Mars Defense Perimeter. I am he.

(It’s my dual.)

I feel like I'm on Rura Penthe.

I wanna do this too!

Kids? Two sons, 22 and 19. Not really "kids" anymore... Pets? Freddie, my domestic shorthair grey cat.
the smell of gasoline? Awesome. One of my faves!
Sing in the shower? Nope. Dance with the vaccum? Nope.
Irrational fears? Not really
Knowledge gap? Umm...Poetry and Literature, I guess?
Brand loyalty? Nissan cars. McDonald's coffee. Samsung electronics.
Shittiest car? Probably the 70 Chevy Impala that I drove as a teenager/young adult. What a boat! Could fit all my friends in it.
Coke/Pepsi products? It depends. Pepsi if I must drink Cola, unless its fountain Coke. Sprite preferred over Sierra Mist, but either is fine. A&W for Root Beer. Dr. Pepper >> most other drinks.

This test was carefully designed to detect duals. Good news. You both passed with flying colors — not duals.

Kids? Nope. Pets? Dog (10 month old Westie pup) and cat (7 year old black warlock's familiar)

Smell of gasoline? Firstly, it's called petrol. And only after it's been poured over my enemies and set alight.

Sing in the shower? Sometimes. Dance with the vacuum? You should never attempt this, was the end of Total Recall not warning enough?

Irrational fears? Zombie rabbits.

Knowledge gap? The Ritual of Talak'thar. But only for the moment.

Brand loyalty? I quite like Kia cars, good level of onboard gadgets for the price and a comfy drive. Wish the engines had more grunt though.

Shittiest car? My second, 10 year old Ford Fiesta. Small, underpowered and developed a hole in one piston one time, causing me to need to limp home at a top speed of 40mph - on the motorway (usual speed 60-80mph).

Pepsi or Coke? Not a fan of cola either way, except as something to occasionally put vodka or whiskey in. Coke probably just edges it in those situations.

Dual, I sense dual!

Only my secondary penis.