I Hate Macs: Charlie Brooker pwns away!

linky

this might need relocating the red room at some point

'tis superb, read it yesterday.

LOTS of comments on Guardian Unlimited.

While the signature line quote Ecky took is great, I like this one too:

"If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality."

I've used Macs and PCs, and I still hold to something I said years ago: PCs are like cars in the 20s - you want to use one properly, you need to be something of a mechanic. If that floats your boat, fine. Macs are more like cars today - you're probably better off not trying to do to much yourself, but frankly, given how reliable they are, you probably won't need to.
Note: the above analogy in no way refers to their respective performance - that would be silly. Just their reliability.

Boy, this sure wouldn't have flown under the Kyle regime!

Mitchell and Webb? You've got to be kidding me.

They should have gone for John Bird and Neil Pearson, or something like that.

Meh. Heard the same rubbish from WinDoze victims for years. My tale remains simple:

Since 1994 I have had a WinDoze and an Apple box on my desk at work. Different flavors as technology marched forward. The WinDoze boxes average one or two trouble calls per month, the Apple boxes one or two trouble calls per year.

Made the choice pretty simple as far as I was concerned.

There's a Fawlty Towers map for Counterstrike?

You might have 12 times as many trouble calls, but you can run way more than 12 times as many apps. Not mention the flexibility of hardware.

Sure, you won't get a mysterious sound stuttering on half-life 2 when it was released on a mac, but thats because mac just doesn't run it. (this turned out to be an issue in the source engine).

And by the way I haven't had a "trouble call" with my pc since windows 95. The only problem I've had since then was due to a turtle beach santa cruz sound card that finally died on me after I had been using for 4+ years on 3 machines.

I use Windows because it's compatible with everything (cos everyone makes their stuff for it), and you have to go out of your way to buy a decent computer that doesn't have Windows pre-installed.

In an ideal world, however, everything would be written for Debian.

Exactly... that is the most true point in the entire article.

It's a joke... seems like most people my age have to get the "in" phone. They even have phones with names like "envy" now, they are getting pretty up-front with the concept. Some people spend 400 bucks on the "coolest" phone which is a marginal upgrade over what they have. Wait 4 months and you can get it for 100 - or less.

It's this kind of mentality that means I probably won't buy another iPod ever. I got the original firewire, 5GB ipod with the ACTUAL turning wheel and got the hacked windows firmware for it (back before itunes on windows... had to use musicmatch for it). I got it because at the time, it was HANDS DOWN the most asskicking mp3 player out there. In those days, most people didn't know what you meant when you said "mp3 player".

After the class action lawsuit for crappy battery on original ipod closed up, I took my share and put it towards an ipod video which I admit is pretty nice. However, the new device is inferior in terms of ergonomics (screen visibility excluded) to the original. It seems like they get worse every revision.

Apple has realized that you just have to make a decent product (their products are generally not bad, but they aren't great either), and then create a cool image for it. That sells much better than actually having a good product.

Unless Apple makes some great improvements to ipod in the future I'm definitely done with the brand. iTunes sucks, their music download service sucks (pay for a low quality encoding on an extremely restrictive format? why is there no way to download lossless versions?). It even sucks as a player... no global hotkeys, its interface lags considerably compared to other players, and the sound quality is not up to snuff. Sounds okay on machines with integrated sound... but on my primary system you can definitely tell the difference, especially on complex tracks. I hate to say it because I don't like WMP, but WMP11 spanks the shit out all the other players I've tried recently in terms of pure sound quality (the thing that matters over all else).

Anyway... this post has wandered far enough.

My last comment is that the way applications on mac tend to "take over" the desktop and the menu bar really really REALLY reminds me of AOL. And I fucking hate AOL (although I must admit recent versions aren't really that TERRIBLE, they still bug the crap out of me). Having all your shit contained together rather than in distinct parts really bugs me personally.

Fry and Laurie.

I doubt they could afford Hugh Laurie these days.

Strange the way things work out, isn't it!

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Wait, these days?! The goddamned hell!!!

Okay, wait... wait... 1986. What year is it, now? I think I'm catching up.

I can't believe not a one of you realized the whole thing was a satire:

Nah. Just cuz he can make fun of both sides doesn't mean he isn't serious (about both).

Just like a Mac owner to grab the last 10% of anything.

(Open Apple+kidding)

-J.