" I Own This Town"...Literally!

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110926/NEWS/109260329/Cheswold-owes-ex-chief-more-than-has?

I drive through Cheswold every day. In my opinion, Vann ain't getting much.

I hear dueling banjos in my head.

Those guys need a better grant writer, eh?

That motherfucker gave out tickets like it was Christmas.

Fuck him and fuck Cheswold. If that town didn't have railroad tracks going through it, it wouldn't even have its only traffic light.

Not getting much?

Dude! He's gettin' a double wide trailer!

He'll be settin' purty!!

He'll be shittin' in tall cotton!

The Monkees (fake band from TV) owned Bumblebee Arizona north of Phoenix for a while back in the day. I think the only residents are quail, jackrabbits, deer and so forth.

What can ya say about a town where you cal steal the police station with a semi?

I own a town, too. I heard the mayor announce it himself to the town council.

I'm afraid I can't tell you the name of the town, but my last name is fairly uncommon. There is a small town in the states by that name, though. I visited there once and checked out the history of the town, to see if my ancestors had given their name to the town. (They didn't, but I can't tell the real story without giving away my name.) Among other things I talked with the mayor. He invited me to meet the town council and when we entrered he told them with a big grin: "This is Mr. ___________. He owns the town!" So I know it's mine. I heard the official announcement myself.

I will say this for them, though: It's the only place in the world I have ever known where people could spell my name right, on the first try...

How about the police station is a semi?

I know! Normally you need five guys with full autos to take a police station!

There's a village in the SouthWest part of England that shares my last name, with a slightly different spelling, and some of my ancestors do come from there.

I would imagine I still have kin there.

They're probably unarmed. Have you considered a hostile takeover?

Errrr you might want to read up on The Monkees. Sure, they were put together by a TV executive, but it's hard to argue that they were "fake".

Interesting. Never knew they owned it.

It's just right off I-17 about 40 minutes outside of Phoenix.

EDIT: How did you find that out? I can't find anything online that backs that up.

Read it somewhere before the internet was around. Very well might be a rumor...I'll check it out.

Oh, there is one in Cheswold. 20 trailers and about 20 teeth among the residents.

So, how many times did you get pulled over?

They got me once.

There is a new super Wal-Mart set to open on October 26 just south of town. I'm not sure if it is in town limits. Vann can maybe own his own Wal-Mart!

No word on if Cheswold will be gettin' The Boar's Nest.

Fucking crooked hick towns. Thanks so much for the reminder of why I left. I may hate the festering commie problem with Portland, but it still beats the fuck out of the backwards crooked hicks you find in Small Town America.