Texas worker charged with tampering with pizza A Georgetown teenager is facing a felony charge after police say he rubbed his private parts on a customer's pizza. Austin Michael Symonds 18, is charged with one count of tampering with a consumer product. According to the felony complaint, a customer called in an order to Papa Murphy's on September 2nd. When he walked in that's when he saw Symonds rubbing his testicles on the family sized pizza he ordered. The customer told police he asked Symonds how old he was. "18," Symonds said. "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza," the customer said. Symonds apologized to the customer. He told his manager that he did it because the customer called in the order right before closing. The national take and bake pizza chain says Symonds was immediately fired. The company issued the following statement to FOX 7: "On Sept. 2, 2014 one of our employees was found in violation of food safety practices and was immediately terminated. It's our policy to maintain stringent food safety practices to maintain high quality products and ensure the safety of our customers. We are reviewing this policy with all employees to uphold the high standards our customers expect." The Williamson County and Cities Health Department says it has not received any complaints about the location and the store recently passed an inspection. The teen told detectives he would have probably given the pizza to the customer if he hadn't been caught. Symonds was released from the Williamson County Jail after posting bond. If convicted of the felony he faces between two and 20 years and a fine not to exceed $10,000.
If it was the 1800's, it would be said "He has the face of a boy born to be hung". In other words, he looks pretty fucking stupid. Not when you factor in the Bieber haircut.
Geez, I always used to joke about either that I'd do that, or that some restaurant I didn't like did that, but this guy actually went and did it. I'm sure he had a good reason... Oh, you fuckin' little turd. Fuck you and your first world problems, you little pussy. Balls on pizza is for special occasions, like the guy who's fucking your wife, or something like that. This generation of little dipshits is devaluing everything.
Meh, the kid's a fucking dummy by owning up to it in the first place or doing it in the eyeline of others. I mean, how otherwise would it provable? Would the customer have taken a bite and say "ah yes, I can distinctly taste teenage ball sweat amongst my peppers and mushrooms!"? Stupid is as stupid does.
I need a schematic. I can't imagine how this would work. If it was cooked, 2nd and 3rd degree burns are possible. If it was raw (take and bake) all the toppings would have fallen off (assuming he was standing). I suppose he could have straddled it, but my imagination balks. I smell a PR ploy by the pizza chain: Now with teenage scrotum scent!
And he may very well end up being teabagged himself. And since Dayton will invariably ask if he looks at this thread, this is what tea bagging is.
Well, the chances of him getting 20 are vanishingly small. It's just that breathlessly reporting the theoretical maximum sentence makes for better copy.
This is the part of sentencing I don't get: n years and/or some fine (that I consider to be worth way, way less than a few years of my life). Has the monetary part of the charges not kept up with inflation?
Give him two years, have him pay $10,000, and have a note for every potential employer to read that says "yes, this adult put his genitalia on a customer's pizza." Sometimes I believe in leniency, but this guy is 18, and purposely did something so damned stupid, as to question his capacity to walk and breathe at the same time. Two years lets him know, and others know, that this isn't some kind of acceptable prank. Don't put your dick in someone's pizza, or you'll get to play the part of the pizza for the next two years.
What if his dick had been cheesey, and his balls all vinegary? What if he had genital warts? Chlamydia? Herpes? What if he just poured a vial of botulism on the pizza? Where's our cutoff point for a sense of endangerment to public health?
