If you were Paris' jailer.

How would you treat her?

With penicillin.

If I were Paris Hilton's jailer, I would treat her
like a creamsicle on the Ice Cream truck of love.

-J.

I'd rape her.

You'ed have to.

I'd treat her like a common whore.

And she'd like it!

Silly markb; there's an awful lot out there that's resistant to penicillin.

I'd treat Paris with a ten foot pole. By proxy. And my proxy would have a proxy. And my proxy's proxy would be encased in latex.

I'd treat her exactly as the law requires me to treat her, with no special treatment in any form, and I'd treat her exactly like I would treat any other inmate.

Oh, me too, me too. But then I'd do her.

-J.

I'd treat her with rabid hyenas.

They may be immune to whatever disease she has.

You know she's on Valtrex, right?

Probably much like I already do, I'd try to ignore her.

And she hasn't had an outbreak, and we plan to keep it that way.

-J.

With a biohazard suit on.

With fire.

I'd treat her with complete indifference, no better or worse than any of the other inmates, without the slightest hint of acknowledgement for her extra-specialness.

Ditto on the UA strategery.

Now this i know you could do. But then every night your wife would bug you about her.

My wife knows I couldn't give a pinch of shit for Paris fucking Hilton. I bet even in a women's prison I could find someone we both found more attractive. Maybe a nice little latin honey with a big butt.

If she were a good inmate, I'd leave her alone, but if she started making demands and acting like the princess she is, I'd beat her like a redheaded stepchild.

Every single one of you would fuck her if you had the chance.

I'd tell her she's about to share a cell with the meanest bull dyke in the compound, and tell the horrible story of the last inmate that refused sex with her.

Then I'd tell Paris that the cost of a ticket out would be a new Mercedes.

Post needs editing. See above.

Is Sodium Pentathol an option?

Not even with your dick.

After "if I ran the zoo", and "if I ran the circus", the worst threequel ever.

Would mrs a hit paris?

i wouldnt. the lazy eye just hits me the wrong way