Man Law Question: New Nudie Bar...

OK.

So.

I had a date tonight. It went OK. But it ended with an awkward peck on the cheek.

And a few weeks ago I found out there's a nudie bar a couple blocks from my place. Just yesterday I figured out the location.

Sooo.... I decided to check it out.

Going to a new nudie bar is like going to a new barber. Or going to a new Chinese restaurant. You never know how it's going to turn out.

So this one turned out not so good. Pretty empty place, with four 155# dancers that I wouldn't fuck with El Chup's dick.

But I'd ordered a beer and, being a good Wisconsin boy, I can't leave an unfinished beer behind, so I found an unobtrusive corner and got to work on the beer.

It was slow and painful--like killing a hobo with a claw hammer. Because it was only MGD, I was tempted to surrender my morals and just leave. But I bravely soldiered on.

And it turned out my corner wasn't nearly unobtrusive enough. It was really dead, so in the time it took me to finish my beer, two of the girls who weren't on stage came over to talk to me.

I decided to talk to the first--consider it no-pressure flirting practice--but God Damn, she was hard to look at! And the other one was even worse.

I dunno. Maybe I haven't worked out the whole Hawaii thing, because there were girls in the bar far hotter than the dancers. I'm not sure it they were there for business or pleasure. Odd.

But I digress. The reason for this thread is to pose two questions: Is a bar ever so terrible that it merits leaving before you finish your beer? And is it ever appropriate to tell a stripper to just go away and leave you alone?

I mean really. None of the girls turned me on. And it would actually be doing them a service to tell them they should get into a different line of work. Besides, it isn't like I'll ever be back there.

I dunno. Shit.

Finishing the beer is the right move unless you fear for your life or sexual health.

It's best not to tell the stripper to leave you alone since you essentially gave them permission to bug you by stepping through the door. It's an implied contract.

You're supposed to chug as much as you can and then bail.
As for telling the stripper she ain't the one, surely you're bright enough to figure out a way to tell her she's not your type.

Oh, and don't expect the quality to improve. If they've got dogs working at the start, it's an indication that the manager doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and is probably the nephew of some organized crime lord who owed his brother a favor.

Use the noggin and scope out the parking lot...if it is bereft of cars or much activity it's probably a lousy bar.

If that wouldn't work for one reason or another..call the place up and ask how long a wait it would be for them to accomadate a party of 20, like right now.

If there is no wait time, the place is probably dead and lousy....if they can't conceal their excitement it's worse than you think.

No problem, whaddya got?

It happens, no Man Law violation here.

More an infraction than a flat out violation, if you found out it was within a couple blocks of home how could you not find out the exact location for weeks?

A little clarification is needed here, did you order the beer before checking the place out or did you check the place out and then order a beer?

Practice hitting on ugly women? No point in acquiring that skill. Never waste your time engaging someone you aren't interested in, better to be alone and looking than appear occupied by a couple of dead ends.

You clearly broke Man Law.

These are the girls you should've been talking to while enjoying your beer.

No. Any man should be able to drop a beer in a matter of seconds, even while walking out the door.

Hell yeah. Especially when there are far hotter women present. What, were you worried about hurting an ugly strippers feelings?

This bit alone is a Man Foul, unless you're dropping hints to your fellow fellows.

You're having a beer in a nudie bar and you're contemplating offering career advice?



Not saying you should be required to turn in your Man card but probation isn't out of the question.

And they say Clyde is nice.

I say, no one is really paying attention!

Hey, he's the one who asked for Man Law help, that requires all men to respond honestly or not at all. I chose to help.

Reminds me of one time in Korea:

To get to the Itaewon "club" disctrict we all had to pass by "The Honey Bee" a reputed Korean gay bar. Once two of my buds got "double dog" dared into going in...they couldn't refuse that. And to sweeten the deal, they had to stay long enough to drink a beer, and not cause a ruckus.

They said the minute they stepped in, all eyes were on these two young relatively handsome American soldiers.

They said it was so hard to stay in character as the gay Koreans started hitting on them, but they maintained long enough to drink their beers and leave quietly.

And it's funny Tamar is jumping all over the request to give manly advice.

Since when did Marines care about Man Law?

My ruling:

You probably paid too much for the beer anyway, which means high-schooling it just increases your net losses. So you chug the beer, select zone 5, extend, and escape with your dignity intact.

Man law?

So, when are you going to introduce us to your new fella?

tell them you're broke...they will go away on their own.

I disagree. There have been times where I've left more than 50% of my last beer. I'd say there are plenty of possible exceptions. 1) You see your driver doing shots at the bar... probably time to put down the beer if you're still sober, if not, enjoy the ride! 2) A friend gets into a fight. 3) You get that wonderful call after midnight and you're no longer concerned about wasted beer.

Parole Officer on his way over for a surprise visit?

or that...

You never leave your beer. Ever.

Beer is your friend. If you must, you just kick it back and drink it down. But, you never leave it.

The answer is obvious, Volpone wanted to be there, hence the time taken to consume said friendly beer. He was hoping one of them was a shemale.

Your first violation of Man Law was calling it a "nudie bar" and not a titty bar.

If the bar is that bad, then the beer is almost certainly perfectly appropriate for chugging, and there's therefore no excuse for not finishing it before sprinting out the door. Absent genuine emergency conditions or projectile vomiting, real men don't abuse drinkable alcohol by failing to finish a drink.

Not really, but mostly that's just because if the strippers are that skanky you shouldn't be wasting any time not heading for the door to search for a bar with better strippers after you've chugged your beer.

Well, I am from Flint, which has the largest # of adult entertainment establishments per capita of any city in the nation. (recently had anyway, dunno if it has maintained the status).

Around here, "titty bar" applies to either one. I really never hear anyone say "nudie bar" except for people in the presence of others who they think might not prefer to hear "titty". Also, you couldn't get alcoholic drinks at a fully-nude bar (Volpone had a beer). Maybe you can wherever he is though.

My sweet country mouse. This is Hawaii. In Hawaii you can drink tequila while three nude Asian girls grind their pussies inches from your face.

You can, to a degree, do that in Vegas, Wisconsin, and Portland Oregon as well, although it isn't as likely that there'll be three on the same stage. Or that there'll be that many Asians working that night.

I dare anyone, outside of the lower 48, to put the number of nudie bars per capita, up against Tampa. Forget Vegas, Sin City is Tampa, FL.

Oh, coming back to Tamar's thing about "how could you take weeks to find a place a couple blocks from you?" Again, a Hawaii thing. It is perfectly normal for a bar to be on the second floor of a building with no exterior signs. And the street signage can be...challenging...to say the least.

In this case, said bar was in a commercial building. It was sort of a weird hybrid of a building and a parking ramp, where the "street level" shops were about 5 feet above the road--up a fairly steep ramp. These were, like, a half-dozen shops that were a mix of Asian restaurants, a beauty salon, and Korean-style karaoke bars (which is a whole post in and of itself).

Floors above that are possibly professional offices--oh and a sewing machine repair shop and a scrapbooking place.

Then the lower level (which you can sort of see through a 3' gap between the parking lot and the sidewalk) was a half dozen more karaoke bars and restaurants, with the nudie bar on the side away from the street, having a 1'x2' sign over its door.

THAT'S why it took awhile to check it out. Oh, and because it just wasn't that big a priority. I'm largely out of my nudie bar phase.

I'm not sure if there's a statistical resource for comparison, but Portland Oregon would definitely give Tampa a run for its money.

[edit: Google up "per capita strip clubs" and tell me what the first hit is. And the second. And the tenth. Tell me how many pages you need to dig to get to this...Tampa you speak of. ]

[edit-edit: 26, by my count. ]

Finish it and then leave. Its impossible for a woman less than 200# to scare a man from his beer unless she is bleeding from multiple wounds.

Anecdotal evidence: a pub which had once been good, but had gone downhill, was covered in signs proclaiming its new management. So we decided to give it another chance.
The first beers came in lipstick-smeared glasses, so we complained.
The replacement beers came in lipstick-smeared glasses, so we walked out.
No way was I taking a sip.
I wasn't surprised, next time I drove past, to see it shut up...

Yes, but you're a woman. Clearly you fail to grasp Man Law.

If, for some unexplained reason, you had to leave your beer unattended (that's a whole other topic) and you came back to find someone had used it for an ashtray--there was a cigarette butt floating in it--you'd still be technically obligated to finish it off.*









*If you didn't know who left the cigarette butt, it would be acceptable to leave maybe 1/4" of beer and the butt in the bottle.