Ugh, I'm going to see New Moon at midnight on Thursday with my girlfriend. She is making me watch Twilight first. Kill me now! Hopefully it pays off and I get laid!
Based on your Green Room thread, classichummus, you should probably refrain from anything that requires you to use your mouth...
Lol, she's actually 21. I don't know why she likes the series so much. We tried making out last night since I can somewhat open my mouth now. It didn't really work. I guess I won't be going down on her for quite a while!!! :cunni: Yep. She also just likes fantasy stuff. She claims it's just a sweet love story. Then I quote Faceman.
I can't be bothered to track down the corresponding inane Green Room thread, so just tell everyone here what they are already asking in their minds: Does classichummus have the herp? And if so, is it the Derek Jeter herp? Nope, not at all. Unless you are are a positive gay-queer, then it might be a little wrong.
Maybe it's just the gay vampires that sparkle until they effervesce into water vapor which may or may not look like a rainbow...
My younger sister is 31 and likes that shit. She and some of her friends have already bought tickets for the new movie.
You gotta be kidding me? I don't think that one boy's even legal! Frankly, I don't get the whole fascination with vampirism. I mean you can't go outside when it's sunny, or you'll burn or sparkle, you have to rely solely on the rarest part of rare meat for survival and you can never die. Jesus, who would HONESTLY wanna live like that? Or be fascinated by it for that matter? IIRC, even Bram Stoker thought "Dracula" (genesis of the 20th-21st century vampire) was a stupid book after he finished it.
May I say, this is a fantastic time to purchase a vibratory appliance and introduce her clitoris to it, if you haven't already. Your penis will thank you for it.
She already has a vibrator. I was thinking of getting her that Trojan Vibrating Touch. Maybe I'll buy it tomorrow.
You should try dressing and acting like a huge fag. That ought to do it. Then, after you've left her satisfied and dehydrated, she'll probably start cutting herself or something to deal with the loss.
Sadly, this book seems to bring out the stupid in people of all ages. God, everyone at my job fucking loves this book. Putting aside all the nonsense about sparkling vampires and exploding werewoves, the lead in a little self-righteous entitled thundercunt who uses everyone for her own means. I read book two, and I was happy when her friend Jessica finally gave her the finger...but that supposed to show how everyone is all OMG ANGSTY and how everyone is jus jellus of Mary Sue.
New Moon wasn't too bad. There were too many instances of sparkley vampires, but it wasn't too bad. I laughed a lot. For guys, it's funny. For girls, they will be in love with it. I wish there was more fighting than there was. One vampire hella looked like Dani Filth from Cradle of Filth. Dani Filth:
That's par the course for the entire series. The author spends the better part of the last book building up to this grand stand against the Voturi, only to cop out at the last minute and have Bella save the day. No even moves in all of that, save the one vampire that goes bite the dust. Lame. Oh yeah, and in the first book, we get to see the epic battle between Edward and James in flashbacks. And then we hear about Edward sucking the venom out of Bell. Even moar lame.
Man, old women are going for this. The chicks dig the romance end of it, it's a fucking Harlequin Romance novel in HD already! ( On a side note, I had to see this smiley Tamar used in a comment up there. olanski: )
Going to see Twilight: $30. Spending 50 minutes in line listening to preteens argue over Edward or Jacob: Dignity and Respect Watching a 40yo soccer mom flip her shit to the point that the cop had to come over b/c the line at the concession stand was taking too long and she was missing the beginning of the movie: FUCKING PRICELESS!!!
Is it me, or does the plot look a lot like the first movie, only with werewolves? (And yes, I expect "What plot?" to be the first thing to come to your mind.) If they turn werewolves teh-ghey I will have to find this Meyer woman and have words with her.
Isn't the douchebag vampire 100 years old, while chick is ~17? If so, doesn't this make Roman Polanski a bit of a piker by comparison?
^ Yeah, and not once in ninety years had he ever found anyone to be as "interesting" as Bella. Really? Not one gusty working girl in WWII? No free- spirit hippie chick in the sixties? No girl power type in the eighties? And people wonder why Bella's called a Mary Sue.
She turns 18 in New Moon, but he became a vampire at 17, but that was over 100 years ago. He is still in a 17 year old's body though.
