Perhaps wordforge should air itself out.

Here's the proofread and edited version:

Here's the unedited version.

No, here's the unedited version:

The Seattle translation:

Pickled lo-fi migas trust fund slow-carb vinyl. Disrupt Wes Anderson artisan tattooed dreamcatcher American Apparel twee flexitarian, selvage health goth hella pork belly cliche mlkshk Shoreditch. Artisan crucifix heirloom wolf 90's, squid ennui. Crucifix single-origin coffee Blue Bottle flannel High Life aesthetic. Jean shorts synth viral, fashion axe drinking vinegar McSweeney's artisan cray kale chips. Wes Anderson Godard scenester, tilde paleo squid whatever Austin banjo letterpress four loko flexitarian tofu before they sold out Echo Park. Cronut retro Schlitz American Apparel photo booth hoodie.

Etsy post-ironic +1 Thundercats, ugh paleo biodiesel VHS cred. Tousled heirloom messenger bag literally. Ennui Etsy Odd Future, PBR&B sustainable Intelligentsia selvage. Narwhal butcher Bushwick lomo. Typewriter beard heirloom, Vice YOLO banh mi banjo raw denim dreamcatcher scenester small batch sustainable. Typewriter Vice High Life drinking vinegar cornhole. Normcore squid fingerstache trust fund Odd Future.

Narwhal Helvetica beard, pickled chillwave Kickstarter post-ironic letterpress four loko asymmetrical pork belly. Authentic artisan vegan sriracha, wayfarers photo booth cardigan flannel food truck letterpress crucifix. Artisan dreamcatcher yr wolf lomo whatever. Swag Williamsburg synth pop-up, ugh distillery cliche Marfa. Street art polaroid cred seitan before they sold out, artisan cray asymmetrical umami. Wayfarers leggings try-hard, selfies occupy VHS cronut. Blue Bottle messenger bag kogi meditation.

Ennui whatever Marfa direct trade, taxidermy mixtape vinyl American Apparel skateboard selfies messenger bag. Flannel keytar readymade Williamsburg vegan, kogi Austin occupy Tumblr American Apparel selvage. High Life blog squid salvia, Brooklyn fashion axe readymade 3 wolf moon XOXO yr small batch mustache. Cray deep v authentic tilde health goth, cardigan brunch art party craft beer Wes Anderson banh mi. Schlitz seitan vegan, organic PBR&B cliche occupy DIY. Synth raw denim narwhal PBR&B, pork belly Vice Banksy heirloom post-ironic twee Helvetica listicle letterpress crucifix. Pitchfork fingerstache Shoreditch four loko polaroid, forage Banksy pork belly tattooed.

http://hipsum.co/

No here's the real version.

Derp, da Derp Derp da Derp,
TL;DR, Derp da Derp Derp.

But it will be worth the wait, trust me - I know a guy who knows a guy who got me an advanced copy of the upcoming thread reply. Here's a sample, edited for brevity and clarity:
"..........fucking racist turbo-charged tractor driving.................dancing porch monkey...............shake up your little white bread world............pony power!.............kick all your asses.........."

You realise that all you lot are doing is downgrading this thread from Burger King to McDonalds?

We're this close to having it closed for hygiene violations.

Thanks, but I never really left. This whole thread was about a want for something more, unfortunately a certain indian river florida hospital with shit infection containment procedures decided to give my grandfather a few week death sentence right around a bunch of trip plans. I am normally thick skinned but I was not in the mood to make much effort to play in the middle of the very strange emotional rollercoaster. While my grandfather is being killed me and my father were doing some fun bonding things to get through the pain of his dad passing. And my sister actually stopped being bitchy to me. Then there was the last few days while visiting friends who moved to TN to see they are in the middle of the drama I told them they would be when cramming 3 2-3 year olds, 4 spoiled dogs, an elderly couple with COPD, the yuppy parents of two of the kids, the 22 year old fetus they decided would make a great threesome with them, and the mixed race couple who are parents to the third child who has all sorts of developmental problems like beating her head into the wall until she bleeds because she wants attention. They are all family of course. Well, except for the fetus who cannot marry into this clusterfuck.

And now I am starting my medicinal preparations for a extended 4 day drug fueled anime con. I am trying to get it just right so I can crash for just long enough so I can be ready for the summer bowling league on thursday, and it is birthday party time also for me and two of the grandparents I am tired just typing that shit out, which means I need more uppers.