Permissive parents: Curb your brats

Bullshit, and fuck you. That's some assbag parent refusing to accept that they can't live like a free, child-less adult.

Ah, so if I turn around and yell at you both for being a contemptible dick who inflicts your children on others, that's life and you have to deal with it, right?

Yell at you both as in the 18 month old and the parent?

Both parents. What's the difference? The kid is gonna hear, anyway.

The difference is where the anger is directed. Being shouted at is very different to being in the presence of shouting, especially for kids.

I just wanted to clarify, because a stranger shouting at an 18 month old for squawking when they can't possibly know any better is just a bit weird.

I agree with most of original post. Only problem is airplanes. It's near impossible to keep a infant quiet on a plane because of cabin pressure, and even the most well behaved toddlers are gonna have some type of fit if the flight is to long (Hell even I've thought about causing some mischief on a couple hour flight at least give those parents a lil break based upon circumstances

I don't. I can't get any kid to take me seriously no matter how hard I try. I don't understand it. It's as if when any kid under the age of 7 looks at me, they see SpongeBob.

ETA. For instance, I was at a farmer's market picking up some veggies, and this little girl takes one look at me, lets out a squeel of delight, runs over, and starts beating me with a bag of produce...laughing her little butt off. It took me a while to find the mom in order to get her to call her off.

Another time one Memphis summer when we lived in an apartment. The Warden came home from work and there were a half dozen or so kids having a super-soaker war in the parking lot. When she approached, then dutifully called a truce and allowed her to walk to the apartment unmolested. When I got home ten minutes later, I was soaked to the bone by the time I got to the front door.

Here is MAoHS in all his glory...


Yeah, I don't know what those kids are thinking...

I wouldn't go so far as to yell at parents with the misbehaving banshee in tow, but I've asked to be seated at another table, far from the offending party.

When we took my stepkids out, and they acted up, we'd leave wherever we were. We were embarrassed, and as UA pointed out, we had no business being some place in which others would have to tolerate our kids when they were acting like monsters.

It's nothing to get an award for, of course, but it is the kind of basic consideration that parents should have for others in public.

The one nearest to me is Texas. You do realize that I live in South Florida?

But yeah I'd pay for something like that.

They've also got to kick people out who use cell phones and no gang bangers allowed.

So don't take infants on planes.

Sometimes, it's necessary.

PGT,

I don't think Uncle Albert is talking about a "bit of yelling/crying" since a bit seems a tiny amount of time as much as he's talking about kids that are yelling/crying/being fuck ups for the entire time they are at the table.

Just got back from a brunch at IHOP with the better half where a four year old was absolutely willy-nilly throwing his matchbox cars all over the place, then proceeded to instead of coloring his placemat decided to break his crayons and throw them all over the fucking restraunt. I was somewhat disappointed in the end when they didn't manage to hit the top of our table.

His mother, I assume it was his mother, was a hispanic gal of girth who couldn't be bothered to even attempt any disipinary action until forty minutes into the tyrade when she got up and acted like she was going to snatch him up whereas he then immediately sat down and shut up. Little late there lady.

The guy with them was a skinny gringo who apparently was having some financial difficulties. I took it as he was there to try to get some cash out of the gal, but I could be wrong. His Wal Mart cap was prominent.

I amazed myself at the level of tolerance I displayed, but that was more for the wife than anything. Had I been alone I likely would have handled things differently.

Benadryl

Asbolutely fucking right. You are the ADULT, the other one is the CHILD. You think you have the exact same equivalences. BULLSHIT. That would only be true if you have the emotional maturity of the five year old. Most people do learn emotional maturity.

Putting the Santa in public display is the same thing, and exactly what that thread was about that you just creamed your panties in glee over.

So if it makes some toddler cry, great, that's how UA rolls. If UA has to hear a kid yell, it's a major problem.

Selfishness. Try less of it. You might find people you like actually want to be around you then.

Public view is a public setting, even if its private property. The fact you don't like that makes no fucking difference at all. Light a santa on fire all you want - in your house. You do it by the tree on your street, you are doing it so others will see it, and you are being an asshat.

Kids get more leeway, because they lack development and are still learning. Every society treats them the same way.

The fact that so many of our best people decided it's more fun not to have kids than it is to raise them is one of the reasons our society is fucked. We've inverted the pyramid - the uneducated are having the most children, by a far degree. That puts more of the burden on the government - and makes government more intrusive. You know it's true.

Yes, I expect people to make allowances for kids. They aren't mini-adults, you can't expect them to behave like them, even if the parents on are on the kid all the time. Even good kids have bad behavior - because the don't have the emotional resources adults do. Parents should understand when their kids are being disruptive to others and take steps.

No, I don't take my kid to places that are primarily for adults. He won't be in a club or a bar or a adult restaurant. He will be in 90% of the businesses in my town, because I have a legal obligation to see that he's attended to and don't always have a sitter available. So he'll be at Target, and Kohls, and if he's good Cold Stone.

Yes, it's important to me that my kid is well behaved. No, I don't give a fuck if you don't like to be around kids. Stay in your house then - kids are ubiquitous. Its YOUR problem.

Show the parents the picture of you in the shower with the rifle and the cookie.

I'm sure they will make sure their children never go within 100 feet of you again.

This is what I hate because then, my son looks at me like "why can't I act like that? You told me that's not acceptable behavior!"

Then I have to explain to him that I'm not that child's parent and I have no control over his actions. Which, doesn't really answer his questions and then I feel like I need to leave so my child doesn't think that is acceptable behavior.

I once saw a woman in Target walking along, pushing her cart and pretending to ignore her 7 or 8 or 10 year old screaming kid holding her feet and being dragged along, as if nothing in the world was wrong.

I really wanted to tell her that ignoring bad behavior is not the way to change bad behavior, but ... I don't have to live with that kid so ...

Clearly, the only solution to this conundrum is . . .



















































More cowbell!!

Or common sense.

For starters, you can't give Benadryl to an infant. And do you want to have to deal with a groggy, cranky toddler once the plane lands?

The pressure in an infant's ears will equalize if its sucking on something. Breast, bottle, pacifier doesn't matter. A lollipop will work for a toddler, bubblegum for an older kid. Flight attendants know this; parents should.

And keep the kid amused. It seems self-evident that you wouldn't expect a kid to sit still in the house for 4-6 hours at a stretch. Why do so many parents think it's going to work on a plane?

A preschool-age kid really doesn't care that "Look, Madison, we're flying thousands of feet up in the air. See all those tiny little houses down there? Isn't that just amazing???" Kid thinks Mom's insane; kid is bored and will be kicking the seat in front of her for the entire flight.

Give the kid a Gameboy or a Leapster or let 'em play Angry Birds on your phone (which you've put in airplane mode before takeoff), let 'em watch the kid-friendly movie on the ever-increasing number of individual screens that are replacing the overhead ones.

Do not - NOT take this opportunity to play Yuppie Mom Spending Quality Time with the Kid She Usually Leaves with the Nanny and Trying to Impress a Plane Full of Strangers by reading and/or singing aloud to the kid for the entire flight.

The best inflight parenting I ever witnessed was a mother with two girls aged about six and eight. Mom had one laptop, one Disney movie, and one headset. Sat the girls on either side of her, gave each one a single earbud before she started the movie. There was the expected whining ("I want the headset!" "She always gets the headset - it's my turn!").

Mom waited for a count of 10, then said very quietly "Either you share the headset, or nobody gets the headset. You can both sit there and suck your thumbs for the next four hours for all I care. You decide."

Kids simmered down, each took an earbud, Mom started the movie. Silence punctuated by the occasional giggle at the movie reigned supreme.

Common sense.

Wow, she was brave.

The ignore/indifference tactic does seem to work though, but only if you follow it up with teaching the kid afterwards what you didn't approve of and let them know when they're being really good. It's all about demanding attention, and they're self serving little creatures, so they soon learn the easiest way to get what they want is by being saintly (well, kinda. They're unpredictable).

But sometimes you can't avoid your child's tantrums in public. Fairly recently, my 3 year old threw a major strop as I was shopping in the supermarket. It was so embarrassing, I had to dump the trolley and take him back to the car until he'd exhausted himself. I don't think I dare brazen it out down the aisles to the tuts of everyone

The difference there, though, is that you let him know, at a level he can understand, that his behavior was not acceptable. He'll remember that going forward, particularly if you praise him when he's good in the store.

The other mother's message to her kid was much more ambiguous. Was she telling him "Nothing you do matters. You'll be ignored no matter what"? Reinforce that over the next few years, and she'll end up a kid who sets fires and tortures animals just to get attention.

This I don't get. How do you teach your child to behave and be comfortable in a place like this (order food, place the napkin in your lap, keep your elbows off the table), if you don't take them there in the first place?

You teach your child to listen when you say something, then it doesn't matter where you take them, they will listen to you.

Yes, there are exceptions and times when the child misbehaves, but overall, this is a proven concept.

You start out with kid-friendly restaurants like iHop. If they start misbehaving, you lean over very quietly and whisper "If you don't knock it off RIGHT NOW, I am never - EVER - taking you to a restaurant again."

And stick to it. Get a go-box, pay the tab, and leave if you have to. And don't go again until they learn.

Reinforce it at home. "Mommmm, can we go to iHop?" "Not until I can trust you not to act up like last time." Wait another month or so and try again.

Once they've mastered the kid-friendly place, graduate to a diner. If they master that, try a fancy restaurant. Dress them up a little more than you would to go to the diner, so they get that this is a more adult venue.

They'll learn.

At 3 years old, a tantrum is normal - and I've handled similar situations the same way.

But, at 7 or 8 or 10? She obviously hasn't been "raising" him properly (IMHO).

I don't even have to say "If my 7 year old did this ..." because, I think my 7 year old would be too embarrassed/ashamed to behave that way in public.

He's thrown a few tantrums at home, but I put him in his room without any electronics and within 10 minutes he's apologizing and behaving.

You teach them that at home.

Then, if you want to see how well that worked out, you take them to Applebees or Fridays or Olive Garden.

There are restaurants and dinner clubs that aren't appropriate for families who cannot guarantee the sterling behavior of their kids. If your kids can't demonstrate that they can behave the way everyone is expected to at an "adult" restaurant beforehand, you shouldn't be taking them there.

Exactly. But, you have to take them.

My youngest is 7 and I would take him to "fancier" restaurants than I'd take some adults.

You sound just like those parents that think their child is the greatest person ever, it's ok to take a child where they can throw a tantrum, because they have to learn they can't do so in that restaurant. Instead of teaching them not to throw tantrums, then taking them somewhere. Most of you've said so far is saying that children need to be taught they can't act or do things in certain places while they are at the place. Instead of teaching them before they get taken to certain places. By this logic, you're saying let a child learn a stove is hot by letting them burn themselves first, instead of telling them it's hot.

That's pretty fucking simple, teach them MANNERS and HOW TO FUCKING BEHAVE AT HOME... it's a pretty simple concept. God, there's not much worse than the parent who thinks their child is the fucking golden child that can do no wrong. As Garamet said, that only creates a kid that acts worse and worse as they get older.