Alright, spell 'em out folks. What gets under your skin during your normal day-to-day operation? Mine is phone bombers. It's the 21st fucking century, yet I have several people that call me and when I don't answer, they call me again, when I don't answer, they call again, and..... Text. Voicemail. Email all delivered to your phone. So many ways to reach someone when they're busy, but instead they figure pissing you off with constant calls will make everything work out of them.
Gotta agree with that one. If I didn't answer the phone, why expect me to answer 5 seconds later. Here's one that bugs me -- women who bitch that society doesn't treat them equally and then in the next sentence claim a superiority over men.
People that stand in fucking busy office doorways carrying on their bullshit personal conversations. Gee, what are the odds someone will actually have to come thru that doorway? Oh, and don't move until they actually say "excuse me" - that makes it even better! Drivers that don't turn on their headlights when it's DARK AS FUCK. Rush hour/heavy commute time is the icing on the cake. Drivers that camp out in the turn lane (blocking it from both directions) hoping against hope that somebody feels sorry for them and lets them finish making their left turn against heavy traffic. I generally pull up as close as I can get to them, stare at them, and lay on my horn to enforce the fact that they suck balls and should DIAF.
Parking Lot Snipers, these assholes that sit in the middle of a parking lot lane with their turn signal on because someone with a cart full of groceries in a space in the first quarter or so length of parking lot closest to the store is loading up their car, because they are too fucking lazy to walk the extra 20 fucking yards to the door.
People that abuse words. I don't just mean the to/too/two or their/there/they're thing, but people who use 'defiantly' in place of 'definitely' or 'dominate' instead of dominant.' There are other examples, but those are the two that come immediately to mind. El Chup's neologism 'premedicated' in place of 'premeditated' is another one, I guess, although I know El Chup to be that stupid, so that one, coming from him, isn't terribly jarring. Ah, right -- thinking about it yet, I realized that people who fuck up common figures of speech are irritating as hell, too. "Point and time" instead of "point in time." "Intensive purposes" instead of "intents and purposes." That kind of shit.
Oh, it's even better when you live with these people year-round for all [-]intensive purposes[/-] intents and purposes ( ) and you get to see the little junior high couples that are always in one another's work centers or outside the living spaces talking at two in the morning...and then have the audacity to be pissed that their business is all over the ship. But that's enough about the khakis....
Ur. It's a typical Viennese prefix to just about any word they can think of. Can't be translated, means something like 'very much'. Urgut -> very good. Urz'sammgessen -> I ate all of it. Urlustig -> very funny. Ursonne -> it's very sunny. Urmonitor -> large screen. It's completely unacceptable for anybody who has learned the German language outside the city's 15th district slums. Yet everybody uses it, it's the Austrian equivalent to very white upper class teenagers using gangsta rap lingo. Drives me urbonkers and I have ursworn to ureradicate this linguistic urdecadence.
Gas pumps that make you eat a line of shit before they dispense (when using your debit card): 1. Credit or debit 2. Zip code 3. Do you have any Kroger coupons? 4. Would you like a car wash? Then you think you pressed your selected type (reg, premium, super premium or whatever) and all three are blinking green again so you have to slam the fuck out of your choice yet again. All this is dependent upon the pump working in the first place - so you go in to the store and tell them and they say "yeah, it's been doin' that lately". Great - thanks for not going that extra mile and putting up a DO NOT USE sign. But you can't just go to another pump because if your pump starts working the person behind you might fill up their tank on your dime!
People that expect the government to provide everything for them without having to do any work for it.
Oh that drives me up the wall too. My husband will do that to me....I'll be busy and he'll call me over and over and over and over again until I pick up. And then the house phone, then the cell phone, then the house phone. Called my cell 18 times in 10 minutes once when I was going pee. Having three kids with sensory processing disorder I've learned to tune out a lot of repetitive twitchy behaviour and noises but the one thing I absolute hate is people who chew with their mouth open (smack, smack smack) GAH!! Oh and expecting that people are going to answer your texts immediately. Like I have nothing better to do than sit and text or game all day. And when you are 21 yrs old and living in a house with 5 other people and you don't pay (much) rent..a couple hundred a month...ooooooo - and your meals are all made and provided and everything is cleaned around here. Its ok to pick up a broom once in awhile or wash a dish. Just saying. But I have never ever in my entire lifetime been able to sleep in until 10 in the morning and then just get up and get ready for work at 3 pm. Never. So I may be bitter.
cell phone etiquette.. if you are in a crowd please go to a more appropriate place to take your call, as opposed to bellowing into it as I try to have a conversation or a quiet beer after work If I am talking to you and your phone rings.. answering it and holding one finger up as if to hold me isn't going to work. If you need to take the call a simple "I gotta take this" will do and we can catch up later. If you want me to wait while you discuss where you are going to meet after the game.. well sorry I'm gone... asshole! we are speaking and you texting under the table as if you are fooling me.. your an ass. then my own personal .. yet banal.. and probably prejudiced view of people who; when you graciously hold the door for them.. they parade through with no acknowledgement of your courtesy .. then stop yet in the doorway and imperiously scope out the room while you are still holding the door and obviously were intending to use the doorway yourself.. yet this exalted canadian could give a flying fuck.. because after all.. they are WHO they are oops did I say canadian... I did mention I might be prejudiced..
Reminds me of a clip of two dudes shooting the shit at the bottom of an escalator, these two oblivious lard sacks decided that their conversation merited forcing normal sized humans to squeeze through their flab to exit. I imagine it a close second to escaping the womb.
Cell Phones at the Gym. It used to be people talking on their cell phones. Then texting. Now, people just sit on the equipment, listening to music; and scrolling thru their apps.
People who say, "Everything happens for a reason." Make the most out of what life gives you, stay optimistic, by all means! But no, things don't always happen for a reason. Sometimes life is random. Don't try to force your "grand design" concept on me. People with no indoor voice, whether on a cell phone or not. Imbeciles who throw their trash out their car window.
Mandatory lunchtime meetings. Fuck you, lunch is MY time. Similarly, people around here seem to keep scheduling meetings for 9:30 AM and 2:00 PM. Those are the times the cafeteria opens for break, and I usually go either for a snack or to check out the hot chicks.
Self-entitled assholes who are so important that they run up the shoulder of the road to get past the traffic jam, then expect you to let them back in when they encounter some obstacle. People in supermarkets who push their cart from the side, apparently so that they can take up as much of the aisle as possible. Buildings with double doors where one side is always locked. What the fuck is the point of a double door if one side is always locked?!?
This raises another pet peeve of mine, people who aren't at the gym to work out. I recognize there are different fitness levels, and I applaud anybody who is there to try to improve himself through exercise. But I can't stand the people who sit on a piece of equipment, not using it, but chatting with their buddy sitting next to them. When I hit the gym, I work out hard with little rest between activities. That might not be the best style for all, but if you are taking a rest, go sit on one of the benches, or stand away from the equipment. This is especially crucial during the New Years resolution phase of new membership crowding.
Thank goodness my gym(s) have a "no cell phone, no music" rule. But good point on folks who tie up a piece of equipment then go at a snail's pace for eternity. When it comes to cardio, if you can talk in a normal conversational tone and cadence, you're slacking. Kick it up a notch, work your body to an actual training effect, then get the fuck off.
