So, you're all-powerful.

This.

That's actually something I had considered. I figured I would share the power with one or two trusted friends I could rely on to keep me in check and not abuse it themselves. Distributing it among everyone leads to assbags like Chest getting to inflict themselves on the world.

Spent some time thinking of this, too. I decided I would build a fleet of interstellar craft. If not one for every nation, one for every country of enough size to yield an intelligent, educated crew of my selection. They would be chosen by their aptitude, devotion to the science, and neutrality on petty international dick-waving. The idea would be for every big country to have their own ship, keeping each other in check and learning to work together as an "Earth Fleet." Nations attempting to infiltrate the ranks with combative, militaristic spies sent to steal the tech for some kind of arms race would be frustrated at every turn.

You can get there eventually. No reason to be hasty about it. I figure I'd wait until humanity outgrew me.

"Yeah, we appreciate you dragging us out of the monkey cages and all, but we'd like to work without a net now, even if it means we go back to massacring each other for fun and profit."

So, power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely?

Hmm, yeah, I guess I could push things up to Tony Stark/Reed Richards levels, if not Trek level.

See how that goes just for the show.

I'll create a 'Sliders' type device that allows travel between alternate universes. It'll be highly tuned to allow user-searches for specific scenarios. For example, if you have the hots for your neighbor or coworker, find the alt-reality where they think you're hot too & slip away. Or go to a place where the South won the civil war. Or where JFK was never shot. Or the Beatles never broke up. Or where religion never took hold.

The only 2 caveats are that you can't take anything with you and can't bring anything back (except your clothes), and time keep running while you're away. So you can't go to a place where guns were outlawed and enslave humanity with your board & nail, and you can't go live an entire lifetime & make it back by supper (like Picard in The Inner Light).

Then, I'd give this device away to everyone for free.

Maybe I would just "create" the Robert Downey Jr version of Tony Stark - but not in love with ... Popper or Pepper or whatever her name is.

I was wondering how long it would take for this to head down the path of creating living sex toys who look like everyone's objects of lust.

Wordforge alone would be responsible for dozens of Christina Hendricks clones.

I'd totally create a white-suited midget sidekick.

First thing I'd do is to make the entire earth be able to grow food anywhere. In other words, populate it with super plants. Oranges would be able to grow out in the middle of the desert with minimal water. Cabbages would need a few days to grow, not an entire season.

I'd also make huge trees like the California Redwoods that grow with hollowed out trunks. And make it so they'd be able to grow anywhere as well. People without shelter could just use one of these trees until they get enough money to build themselves a proper house.

I think that if you have enough food and shelter, it would take away a lot of the problems with people fighting for resources. People who join marauding gangs and terrorist groups because they're poor and need to eat wouldn't need to do that anymore if food and shelter are already taken care of.

I'd let the world adjust to everyone being able to feed and shelter themselves, and see how much things changed before I deal with the predatory and violent fucktards.

First thing I'd do is introduce you all to my new wife:




More later.

In a Galaxy-class? C'mon, travel in style.
[spoilers]

[/spoilers]

#1 - I want to carry more than a few people with me.
#2 - Holodecks.

I can't think of a thousand people I want to haul around with me. I can't even think of 50. Come to think of it, maybe I should re-think my choices.

[?=Maybe this]

[/?]
[?=Or this]

[/?]

You guys are missing the obvious.

Why does god need a spaceship?

The first thing I would do is make take myself outside the timestream.

Then I'd learn. I'd find out first what's actually happened to this point, then why it happened. I'd learn what is possible - and what can only happen because I'm omnipotent. I'd find out if we are alone, and if they are paying any attention to us.

And by then I'd hopefully know just a fraction of the stuff necessary to not completely and utterly fuck up being god.

After that, I have no clue what I'd do, because it would depend on what the answers were.

And the answer to being the perfect God is to be staunchly communist, and screamingly effeminate, so you flame out from mind-implosion like Cate Blanchett in Indy 4.

I'd ban Packard ONCE AND FOR ALL.

This made me think of a quote one of my friends referred to today when we were talking.
I've been looking for it but I can't find it.

Basically it says that the greatest improvement that can be made within yourself and the world is to stop wanting.
I wish I could find that quote...it's bugging me..

Yes, but this wouldn't be the two girls from enlistedperson's recent avatar.

... but not before I made you get a job.

Go back in time to 1982 with the knowledge I have right now.

There'd be a whole lot less assholes in this world, by my definition

First thing I'd do, certain parents of wordforgers would be introduced to the concept of contraception before those select wordforgers were conceived. If necessary, cover Depo Provera shots at the appropriate time.

If *I* were all powerful, none of y'all would ever know about it. I'd leave Earth pretty much to its own devices and I'd have my own private universe full of fun stuff to retreat into.

Occasionally, I might bring guests. But no one would believe the stories of infinite joys and pleasures they bring back...

In my universe, Greedo would have shot first.

I would retroactively abort the fetal Prophet Mohammad back in dark ages, resulting in Islam having never existed and hopefully a flourishing, rich civilization in the Middle East to complement the west.

I'd also erase the scourge of liberalism from the hearts of Men.

Maybe also 'reset' history so that this actually once was Middle Earth, with the Fourth Age lasting however many thousands of years, followed by the Fifth Age (known to the Historian Robert E. Howard as the Hyborean Age), following by the Sixth Age which we are living in now.

All this I would do with Monica Bellucci ruling the cosmos at my side.

I would forbid bald, French starship captains.

Id be duin ur wemenz.