Star Trek: TNG Reviews - From Start to Finish!

It was some kind of coolant. Their original target when they went on the offensive to re-take engineering.

I agree!

Well...

Because that was plan B, in case the armada was able to defeat them. Plan A was to go to Earth, blow up everything in the way, and assimilate.

Nope. The Borg came back to stop first contact, not to assimilate Earth in 2063. No first contact, and who knows what could have gone differently? Perhaps Earth meets the Tellarites first, out in space. Or worse, the Andorians, who help them improve their technology at a more rapid pace, leading to the defeat of Vulcan. Needless to say, this would prevent the Federation from ever existing, but it might lead to an Earth-Andoria empire which may or may not go on to conquer the Klingon and Romulan Empires. With no one left to fight, the empire grows complacent, and eventually the Borg just waltz in. Or even not. All that has to happen is the Borg reaching the Alpha Quadrant before Starfleet meets Q. Perhaps this isn't even the first time they've tried time travel, but it hasn't worked out in the past, and each time they resort to more drastic measures. Obviously, the plan worked though, because from within the temporal wake, the Enterprise could see that Earth had been assimilated. It was only once the Enterprise went back that the damage to the timeline was reversed. Perhaps even the utter failure of the Borg stopping first contact convinces them to stop trying; they could be afraid that to go back any further might prevent the rise of the technology they want, with humanity dying off with a whimper in the post-atomic horror.

I guess it's a testament to First Contact's greatness that in the 13 years since it's release and what has to be dozens of subsequent viewings if not hundreds, I'd never thought about that. When a movie grabs you and doesn't let go like First Contact did, plot holes become inconsequential. I think the last sentence of your paragraph here is the most important.

Good Question. Maybe since the Borg never heard from their time traveling commandos they assumed the device didn't work ? Or perhaps they did and Picard and Company are trapped in an endless time loop re-fighting the borg. I don't know, there is no good answer to that question.

Hmmm..... It's been my belief that Borg ships aren't the super speed demons they're made out to be. Voyager seemed to show that they need constructed transwarp conduits to go long distances. I personally don't believe that the Borg had any conduits built to the alpha quadrant until late into TNG's run. I think the next 'big Borg plan' was to build a conduit right on Earth's doorstep and take them with overwhelming force. This is the conduit that Voyager uses to return home (and also blows up).

Could have been more of a 'get Earth out of the way' plan so they could take the rest of the quadrant with no resistance, and they get a nice staging-area-base out of the whole deal too.

Time travel is a delicate thing. Maybe they wanted more than just removing the Federation as a threat. Maybe the time of First Contact was the best time to pluck humanity from the vine. Too far forward from there, and they offer too much resistance. Too far back and the effect on the time line grows unpredictable. Could be more than projection and extrapolation, too. Could be the result of endless trial-and-error. Maybe the Borg single-handedly multiplied the number of alternate timelines with other failed attempts.

Say what you want about JJ's E, there exist no uglier Enterprise that the D, IMNSHO.

The D was impressive in the amount of detail involved with it. The was no tech manual for the E. By comparison to this day noone can even agree where the hell Engineering was in the 1701.

It was in the passenger side nacelle.

We must agree to disagree on that point.

I'll take the E over the D any day.

Of the people I trust on such matters, AFAIK, only one has said anything about it.

Scotty said it, I believe it. That settles it.

(Yeah, I know, I mangled the quote, but the essence is correct.)

The D's problem was it looked so damned 80's.

It was the space going version of Don Johnsons rolled up white jacket sleeves and pastel shirts.

I remember how jarring the bridge looked to me in the pilot episode. It looked like a lounge, not the bridge of a starship. Way too big and not busy enough.

Actually, if I recall correctly, in terms of set dimensions, TNG's bridge was almost exactly the same size as TOS' bridge. TNG's was a couple feet deeper or something, but that's it. The fact that the entire thing was actually built made it seem much, much larger than the TOS bridge because they could do effective wide shots. And, of course, crisper lighting and lighter colors throughout helped with the illusion of size.

If you want a better idea of the dimensions of the set, the modifications made for Generations really make its size more evident.

We must agree to disagree on this point.

I like the E just fine, btw. But it's a hack fanboi design.

Really the Borg were in general stupid.

You're hell bent on wiping out Earth and the Federation?

Send 75% of your empires ships after them. We know from Voyager that the Borg Empire is huge.

No one in the Delta Quadrant has even a small chance of taking on the 25% left behind and winning.

I'd also create nano-probes that can just be injected in the atmosphere and infect anything they come into contact with. No wasting time with Borg drones running around grabbing people.

And don't even bother trying to assimilate ships. Waste of time. Just blow them up and hit the planets.

yeah yeah yeah..... I know it's just a TV show... but still I would've conquered the universe as the Borg.

We...may have to settle this outside....

The Borg don't create. They assimilate.

Oh they are capable of creating.

They assimilate and adapt.

And as with all adaptations, sometimes something new appears.

Having been on the replica in Las Vegas, it seems a lot smaller in person than it seems on TV.

Actually 7of9 directly states that the Borg do research and study science. They were performing experiments in creating Omega particles after all.

And it has the wrong font.

Actually, I think the font is okay on that one.

I love the Enterprise D, because it's one of the better attempts around at properly designing something around the universe it is intended for.

All the criticisms people level against the Enterprise D are general symptoms of the Federation culture at the time TNG started.

Star Trek: Insurrection

Okay, I've been putting this review off for too long. Let's just get into it. I haven't seen this movie in about ten years. I didn't like it very much back then but I was hoping time would have been kinder to this movie. Well... it hasn't been.

The movie still has the same flaws in it which I recognized way back when and, overall, I just did not enjoy this movie very much. The biggest problem it faces is that it is a follow-up to Star Trek: First Contact. But that's a heck of a hard movie to follow. How do you create a story as epic as the return of the Borg to Trek? You can't. So, instead, we got a pedestrian comedy movie in the vein of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

There were some potentially good ideas here. The very title conjures up images of betrayal and treachery, Starfleet ships duking it out (think DS9's Homefront/Paradise Lost), Picard and crew on the run and defying orders (think Star Trek III), corruption at the highest levels, and just some darker stuff. But the title is kind of misleading. It's no insurrection by any means. It's just one crooked Starfleet admiral who sees the error of his ways after a stern lecture from Picard.

There was nothing dark about this movie. It was just a light-hearted romp through a sunny, grassy world... with some action scenes thrown in here and there. There was nothing badass about it. Let's stop and play with some kids! Let's stop and look at some flowers and hummingbirds! Let's make off-the-wall jokes about how firm our breasts are! Let's have Riker and Troi hookup for absolutely no reason! Hey... Data is a fuckin' floatation device! Oh, shit, you can control the Enterprise E with a joystick! Let's throw in Worf, even though he has no reason for being there! And let's make fun of his pimple! Let's sing Gilbert and Sullivan!

And all of this in the middle of the fuckin' Dominion War...

Oh, sure there were some half-hearted references to DS9 and the stuff going on at the time (DS9 was about halfway through the seventh season when this came out). Picard mentions putting out some brushfires from the Dominion War. Huh? And he makes some comment like, 'remember when we were explorers?' with a smug grin on his face... which I took as a shot at DS9. Oh and the Sona villains in this movie apparently manufacture the narcotic known as Ketracel White. Again... huh? Are they Dominion allies or Federation allies? Why even pretend any of this had anything to do with the Dominion War?

There were other problems with this movie. For one thing, Rufao, the primary villain was just not as interesting as some of the other past movie villains like Khan, Kruge, Chang, Soran, or the Borg Queen. All the stuff about the Sona and Baku being part of the same race and fighting a blood feud was pretty much the same sort of story we'd already seen in a dozen TNG episodes. There was nothing particularly interesting about either of them. The Sona did some wierd face stretchy thing which I guess was supposed to be horrific and creepy, but just looked kind of silly. And the Baku got tiresome with all their 'we don't trust offworlders' shit. Why would you distrust offworlders if you had no idea, prior to this movie, that offworlders were even visiting your world? The Baku are some colony of Luddites who have given up all technology, yet they somehow know exactly how to repair Data's positronic brain! There is also some sort of fountain-of-youth story here, but some of this doesn't make much sense. The Baku claim that they settled this planet so that they could avoid contact with all outside societies... well, if you settle on a rare, valuable fountain-of-youth planet aren't you pretty much asking for trouble from anyone who comes by?

Admiral Dougherty, Rufao's partner in crime, is the high ranking Starfleet officer that Picard wages his insurrection against. But he just looks like a confused, bumbling fool. Compare him to Admiral Leyton, whom Sisko rebelled against in DS9. The main characters also took a step backwards in this movie, except Picard who got the only real character development at the expense of making all the other characters look like fools. Hey, another similarity to Star Trek V. Speaking of that, this movie and STV are the only Trek movies to not have the effects work done by ILM. Hmm...

Worf is basically used for comic relief. Hey, Worf, nice to see ya! Sorry about your dead wife. Bummer. What the heck is he even doing on the Enterprise? Isn't there a war going on, you'd think DS9 would need its tactical officer around about now. And they don't even have a good explanation for his presence. Riker and Troi get horny and start fucking for no reason at all. Seriously... this just comes out of nowhere. There was no hint of anything happening between them in the last movie and it barely has anything to do with this one. Data probably gets hit the worst though.

He doesn't even have the emotion chip in this movie... because he didn't take it with him. What? Didn't it get fused to his neural net in Generations? And if he wanted to go on this mission to the Baku planet unhindered by emotions, couldn't he have just turned it off like he did in First Contact? Wouldn't it have been so much more interesting if Data actually began this rebellion against Starfleet as a consequence of his having emotions about the Baku plight? This could have been another step towards his goal of becoming human. But we learn that he is just malfunctioning. He is just a toy that has some screws loose. But singing some show tunes apparently snaps him out of it. That's okay, he gets cool move trailer catchphrases like "lock and load!" Data again befriends some primitive young child he'll never see again.

This was just a very pedestrian movie. The stakes didn't seem very high. There were... what... 600 Baku? And its not like they were gonna be killed or something... they were just gonna be moved to another planet. Picard and crew lead the villagers through some caves and then the Captain has a showdown with Rufao and gets to pretend he is a big action hero. Meanwhile Riker takes the Enterprise back to Federation space and battles a few Sona ships. The space battle was a snoozer. That was at least one thing that Nemesis got right. And he gets another of those movie trailer catchphrases and gets to say, "we're through running from these bastards!!" Yeah, you're a bad muthafucka, Will.

Hmm. What else to say about this movie? It was just so inconsequential. And disappointing. It could have been so much more. There was one scene I really liked though... the one where Geordi sees a sunset for the first time. That was actually kind of nice. But I think that is also the only time we see Geordi in the movie. Beverly gets the bitchslap yet again when Picard becomes enamored with another woman. But they don't even get to kiss (I think).

I'll say one thing about the movie though... Donna Murphy was smokin' hot. I'd have hit it with phasers on full! For shame, Jean-Luc. For shame! Kirk is probably rolling around in that grave you made for him on Veridian III.

Rating:

I liked that part.

You know I hated it when I saw it in the theater. But now when it comes on tv, it's not so bad.

I think it would have been an awesome Trek two parter in the middle of TNG's run.

It just lacked an epic kind of feel, which is what every fan boy wanted to see in a Trek movie AND also a major reason why the whole franchise needed a break.

The only thing I have to say about Insurrection is: The Enterprise has an Atari Joystick.

Actually, I believe it was a Gravis Thrustmaster. I remember this, because I had the exact same joystick.

That's right. This movie cost millions upon millions of dollars to make, and they bought a $40 joystick from Best Buy for a key (albiet nonsensical) action sequence in the film.