Star Trek: VOY Reviews - From Start to Suicide!

I have a little trouble believing that a human could possibly wield a weapon capable of killing a Q, no matter how you make them perceive it.

Fair Trade
Neelix is attempting to whore himself out to any department on the ship that will take him, trying to ingratiate himself to Tuvok and Torres with his rudimentary knowledge of their respective professions. Janeway soon calls him up to the bridge, and presents him with a rather foreboding looking area of space. Neelix knows that it's the Nekrit Expanse, and that there's a trading post on the edge of it, but beyond that...his usefulness as a guide to the Delta Quadrant has come to an end.

Janeway contacts the station, and the rather gruff stationkeeper says that he'll take a look at her requests and see what he can arrange. While on the station, Chakotay and Tom are harassed by a vendor who tries to sell them drugs. Tom looks like the guy shot his puppy, and Chakotay has that holier-than-thou look on his face. So much for the Maquis, I figured they'd at least toke up every once and a while.

Neelix, on the other hand, encounters an old friend of his, Wixiban, and regales him with stories of his life aboard Voyager. However, not all is sunshine and roses - Wixiban is barely scraping by, and Neelix feels like he needs a map to the Expanse in order to still be of some value to Janeway, as he thinks she'll kick him right off the ship once his Delta Quadrant knowledge runs dry. Apparently he really doesn't get how Starfleet operates.

Wix comes up with a plan. Neelix just needs to get him a shuttle so that he can beam directly to an out-of-the-way spot on the station and conduct some business, and he'll be able to track down a map to the Expanse.

Neelix ends up going with him, and Wix insists on arming himself with a phaser. Of course, the deal goes south, and Wix ends up shooting the drug dealer who had hassled Tom and Chuckles earlier. Neelix is infuriated, calling Wix out on his bullshit, and telling him that he really hasn't changed. Of course, Wix threatens Neelix with telling Janeway just what sorts of activities Neelix used to engage in, so Neelix goes off and smolders.

The stationkeeper comes aboard Voyager, and he's figured out that the weapons signature matched that of a phaser. Janeway agrees to help with the investigation. Neelix ends up getting interrogated by Tuvok, and even helps Tuvok interrogate Wix, but nothing comes of it. After Tuvok leaves, Wix tells Neelix that his supplier is threatening their lives if he doesn't come up with some of Voyager's warp plasma, which Neelix refuses to give him. Frustrated with the lack of progress, the stationkeeper takes Tom and Chakotay into custody, intending to cryogenically freeze them for decades as a form of punishment.

This leads Neelix to force Wix to go with him to the stationkeeper. He tells him that to make up for their crimes, they'll catch Wix's supplier, and all they'll need is some warp plasma - any kind will do.

They go to confront the dealer, and he basically laughs them off as they try to arrest him. They go to kill Neelix and Wix, but Neelix tells them that they've unsealed the warp plasma container, so any weapons discharge will basically ignite the room. The stationkeeper soon arrives to complete the arrest, but this spooks one of the supplier's goons, and he fires.

The Doctor treats everyone for their wounds, and the bad guys have been brought into custody. Janeway gives Neelix a tongue-lashing over basically tossing aside all the Starfleet ideals that he never signed up for just to get a fucking map. He promises not to lie or deceive her again, and they head into the Expanse, because on Voyager, getting people killed and getting your shipmates falsely accused just gets you a stern talking to.

Oh yeah, and somewhere in there, Neelix went to Tom and Tom told him to just tell the truth, otherwise you end up in lush tropical paradise prison camps.

It was a pretty average episode, but it was the sort of episode we should have seen more of on Voyager. Space stations with varied aliens, moral quandaries, begging for supplies, etc., etc. Oh, and in a rare instance of planning ahead, they introduce Ensign Vorick so that he doesn't just pop in for his episode later on this season.

Rating: **
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 3
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

Alter Ego
Voyager's come across an inversion nebula - these are pretty rare because apparently they just burn themselves out, but this one seems to have strands of plasma that ignite and self-extinguish. They don't learn this thanks to Harry Kim, though, because his mind is elsewhere.

He soon goes to Tuvok and asks him for his help in purging all emotions. Tuvok, naturally, calls him out on this BS and asks him why he would feel the need to do so, and Harry reveals to Tuvok that he's fallen for a holodeck character. Someone should let Harry know that, no, falling for a Holodeck character won't make you as cool as Barclay, but it will make you as lame as Geordi.

He takes Tuvok to meet the holographic character, and she's pretty hot. After an awkward introduction via Kes, it becomes pretty obvious that Harry's head-over-heels for this collection of photons and forcefields. Tuvok has Harry go back to his quarters to meditate.

Neelix is throwing a luau at his holoresort, and the crew is invited (presenting the uncomfortable question of just how holodecks work yet again, but again failing to answer it). Tom, Torres, and Vorick are heading to the holodeck, but the folks from Engineering express surprise that Harry's not with Tom. Rather than just telling them that he's planning on a threesome with the Delaney sisters or something, he goes off to find Harry, who is meditating, just as Tuvok ordered. He quickly picks up on Harry's crush, and tells him that he'll just have to deal with it, replicating him a Hawaiian shirt.

Meanwhile, on the Holodeck, Tuvok arrives and resists all the efforts of the hologirls to lei him. No surprise there. Janeway implied that it was an order he attend, though later on, she tells him that it was mere suggestion. He runs into Harry's crush playing the Vulcan game of Kal-toh, and they strike up a game.

Tom and Harry arrive, and Tom goes to find some booze, and Vorick suggests that Torres and he go check out the lake - again, establishing an interest in Torres that will play nicely into his future episode. Harry is left to stew, and soon stomps off after seeing his hologirl playing Kal-toh with Tuvok.

Oh, and Robert Picardo, the director of this episode, makes a single appearance in this episode getting hit on by some of the hologirls. The entire time, he has this look of "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta" on his face.

Tuvok and the hologirl chat to the wee hours of the morning, but he leaves, shutting down the program. The day continues normally, until he goes back to play Kal-toh some more with her (yeah, that's what all the kids are calling it, now), and Harry storms in to confront him, accusing him of stealing the photons and forcefields that he wanted to jizz all over. Tuvok assures him that it was not his intention and leaves, after deleting the hologirl to prove a point.

However, when he gets to his quarters, there she is, in Starfleet gold with the Doctor's holoemitter on her shoulder. She tries to kiss him, but he just calls security. She dematerializes in a huff, and kills the ship's engines. And then the plasma strands start igniting.

The crew guesses that somehow, an alien being must have been talking through the hologram, and Tom, Tuvok, and Torres go to the holodeck to investigate. Of course, the holonatives aren't happy with that, and try to kill them, but they manage to get information on a subspace signal and escape.

Tuvok beams to the signal's origin point, and meets a quiet woman. She was used to poking around the computers of the ships that passed through the nebula, but found their holodeck distracting, and found Tuvok fascinating - she just wanted him to stay there with her. He informs her that even if he were to, it would not be by his choice, and she begrudgingly lets Voyager go. He tells her that her reaching out was likely indicative of a desire to experience the world at large, and suggests she end her self-imposed exile to the station that was used to control the plasma strands in the nebula.

Tuvok goes and apologizes to Harry, and even suggests that Harry learn how to play Kal-toh with him (something they'll do reasonably frequently in years to come).

Overall, it wasn't the best episode you could hope for, but it was alright. It had a rare Tuvok-Harry pairing that I think worked pretty well, it put Tim Russ in the spotlight, which is usually a safe bet, and it had the most biting social commentary about Trek nerds I think you'd ever get out of Star Trek, bested only by Shatner asking a fan if he had ever even kissed a girl. Garrett Wang even managed to turn the cold he had at the time into a performance approximating stress about such a bizarre relationship.

Rating: ***
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 3
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

Eventually the Neelix resort gets forgotten right?

Coda
This episode is a fucking mess, so excuse the confusion.

Janeway's on the way to the shuttlebay, and Neelix intercepts her, asking if they can have another event like they had last night. Janeway grins an almost orgasmic smile and agrees, but Neelix begs her to not let Tuvok come next time. She agrees, and hops in the shuttle.

What the fuck, did Neelix host an orgy in the mess hall or something? Fuck, do the holodeck jizz moppers have to clean up after that, or do typical ship's cleaning staff, whom we never, ever see on any incarnation of Star Trek, get the job?

In the shuttle, Chakotay reveals that, no, it was a talent show. Tuvok read some shitty Vulcan poetry, and Janeway did some ballet. Yeah. Ballet. I'm glad we missed out on that one. Upon trying to land on the planet, though, Chakotay manages to ground yet another shuttle, though it at least looks repairable.

Janeway, on the other hand, does not. He tries to perform CPR, and it seems to work. They pick up Vidiian lifesigns, though, and try to escape, but Chakotay is organ harvested and Janeway is choked to death.

Ah, if only that were the end of the episode. But no, Janeway and Chakotay are back in the shuttle, and they quickly realize they are sharing a sense of deja-vu. Boy, Picard and company should take hints from Janeway the next time they get stuck in a time loop with the Bozeman. Anyway, a Vidiian ship attacks and destroys the shuttle. They are put back in the shuttle again, though, and two Vidiian ships attack, but they are rescued by Voyager.

On Voyager, though, nobody remembers Janeway mentioning the temporal anomaly in her distress message - not even Chuckles. Here's a hint, Chuck - forgetting what your crush says is a terrible way to get in her pants. Janeway goes to Sickbay to get her head checked, but the Doctor has terrible news - she has somehow managed to contract the Phage, and he gives her a sedative to get some rest. When she wakes up, he tells her that there's nothing he can do, and fills the medical bay with a neural toxin, killing her.

Next, she's standing over her body as Chakotay tries to revive her, but he fails. Voyager picks them up, and the Doctor attempts last-second resuscitation, but he fails - she is dead. Janeway follows Kes around, hoping that she'll pick up on the sensation, and she does, briefly, but she is unable to again, despite Janeway watching her every waking moment like some creepy ghost voyeur.

Soon, however, Janeway encounters her father (played by the same guy who was the anchor in the hilarious Onion Movie), and he tells her that he is there to help her pass on.

They watch her funeral, but Janeway still isn't ready. She thinks that her presence will help the crew, but her father tells her that it won't, and she needs to just come with him. Janeway soon has a flash of the Doctor on the planet with Tuvok and Chakotay, trying to revive her, and tells her father about it, but he starts becoming rather insistent on her joining him in stepping into this orange glowing orb behind him. She experiences another flash, and he admits that he's actually a member of an alien race that aims to make death more pleasant for those who experience it. Janeway still doesn't buy it though, and has a longer flash, this time with the Doctor mentioning the alien presence inside her head. She refuses to go with him, and he tells her that she will be going with him eventually, and that he'll feed on her energy for a very long time.

Janeway comes around, and everything is all better. I guess. Whatever. There are a few 'archetypal' episodes I hate in television shows. The episode where the character experiences their own death, like the actor needs the validation of seeing their castmates act sad over their character's death. Boxing episodes (Leverage was recently guilty of this, and Voyager will be too in S...5? 6? BSG is definitely an illustrious member of that club as well). Etc., etc. This was just one that was all rolled up in nonsensicality and bullshit that couldn't be unraveled. Why would the alien pull that temporal anomaly bullshit? I mean, fuck, it was just in there to draw out time. Fuck you, Coda.

Oh yeah, and the shuttlecraft's name was Sacajawea, but Tuvok and, the most damning of all, Chakotay, mispronounces it.

Rating: *
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 3
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

Yes, like Chez Shitdrines, Fair Haven, Captain Proton, etc., etc. (though Captain Proton came back in Shattered).

I don't think the alien intentionally made it seem like there was a temporal anomaly, but rather kept bombarding Janeway with different visions of her death hoping to find one she'd accept. It was just Janeways mind that interpreted it as a temporal anomaly, with the Chakotay in her visions playing along for a bit.

Quite.


They later used the aliens from that episode as a framing device for a Voyager anthology, but I think the alien takes the form of Seska instead of Janeways father.

Terrible episode.

I didn't like 'Alter Ego' much either.

I have a hard time believing that Harry Kim could actually be a Starfleet officer with all the whining he did in that episode.

I did like 'Fair Trade' though. I agree, there should have been more episodes like that.

Well, it was his first assignment right out of the Academy, and Voyager couldn't replace him very easily once they were trapped in the DQ....

If he'd ended up on the Enterprise, he might well have been tossed out of Starfleet fairly quickly. But then he'd have his parents and fiancee around for support, so he might not have been such a whiny bitch....

Episodes that have Neelix as the main man aren't actually that bad. Ethan Phillips is a decent actor IMO and when he was given a good script to work with as the lead character, he did pretty well. It's just when he's playing his usual background 'jester' role is when he became fucking annoying - which was almost every ep!

He was fine, but the writing for him was terrible. Any time the writers tried to either make him seem important to the functioning of the ship or used him as comic relief ended in abject failure. He shouldn't have been a main character; rather he should have been a color character who had minor appearances a half dozen times a season and got a beefy role every other season or so.

I remember a TV Guide article that predicted Neelix would be the "breakout character" of the series.

Blood Fever
So, we've been introduced to Ensign Vorik, and now, it's time for him to shine. Sort of.

The episode opens with Voyager finding a huge deposit of gallacite ore on a planet that appears to have once hosted a civilization, but is now vacant. As they can use the mineral to rebuild the warp coils, Janeway assigns Torres to the away team, with Paris joining her to help with the rock climbing that will be necessary to enter the caverns in which the gallacite resides.

Vorik volunteers as well, stating that he is also well-qualified in rock climbing, and Torres readily agrees. However, Vorik makes another request - that he and Torres be joined in marriage.

If I had to pick one thing that Roxanne Dawson was especially good at, it was "What the fuck" looks. And she is in top form here. Vorik explains that they get along well and share many common interests, that their abilities would compliment each other's, and that the ratio of men to women aboard the ship would suggest few other mating alternatives, especially mates who could withstand the rigors of Klingon mating. Torres agrees that it is quite logical, but asks about his betrothed lady-friend on Vulcan. He informs her that they had been gone long enough that she would have logically moved on to a different mate.

In short, the guy's the average basement-dwelling Trek nerd who thinks that he should get the girl simply because he believes he deserves to get what he wants, and has rationalized away any objections normal human beings would have.

Torres, of course, turns him down. He gets pretty insistent, though, and grabs her face, telling her that she must mate with him. She basically slams the palm of her hand into his chin and gets him to back off.

In Sickbay, the Doctor realizes that all the symptoms are indicative of the Pon Farr. Apparently, the medical texts are still woefully inadequate a century after McCoy had to deal with Spock throwing soup at blondes in miniskirts, so he doesn't have much to go on in terms of solutions. And, per usual, the Vulcans on the ship are tight-lipped about it. Vorik tersely requests being confined to his quarters to try to meditate away his blue balls, and the Doctor agrees.

Meanwhile, Torres, Tom, and Neelix are prepared for their mission to the caves. Neelix was selected because he had some mining experience in the past (which will tie in with the upcoming episode Rise). Torres seems oddly exuberant about the entire affair, and hurries them along. However, as Neelix is rappelling down the side of the cavern wall, his anchor comes loose, and he grabs Torres on his way down.

They reach the bottom, and Neelix has broken his leg, but Torres is fine. She flips shit, accusing him of trying to kill her, and Tom has little success getting her to calm down. As he tries to restrain her from kicking the shit out of Neelix (why Tom? Why?), she bites him and dashes off deeper into the caves.

Tom reports back on this bizarre situation, and Tuvok goes to see Vorik. After talking with him, he realizes that Vorik somehow telepathically copied his pon farr onto Torres, and reports on this fact to the Doctor. He is, of course, eager to point out that if she doesn't fuck, she'll die. The Doctor, however, has come up with a cure, and he insists Vorik try it.

Chakotay and Tuvok beam down to the cave and hoist Neelix up before going in with Tom to look for Torres. They catch up to her, but they are soon separated when a group of aliens attacks them. Torres, of course, tries to murder all of them, but Tom pulls her away. As they're exploring the cave system, a tunnel collapses, trapping Tom and Torres together.

I bet you were wondering about the Doctor's cure, eh? Well, good news - we have conclusive proof that Starfleet must have anticipated people fucking in the Holodeck, because the Doctor has set Vorik up with a holographic Vulcan sex doll. Vorik scoffs at it, claiming that a hologram is no substitute for a living being, insulting the Doctor. However, eventually, he agrees to bang the shit out of the photons and forcefields.

Speaking of banging the shit out of, Torres is busy trying to get in Tom's pants, insisting that she's always had a thing for him, and wondering why, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't simply put out. While Tom might be the ship's slut, he's a nice guy, and doesn't want to take advantage of her in her condition, even though he too has a thing for her. After he refuses, she tells him to fuck off and not touch her, and then Chuckles saves the day, clearing the cave. Go Chuckles!

Back on the holodeck, the Doctor checks in. Vorik seems calm and collected, and tells the Doctor that his cure seems to have worked. They leave the holodeck, and the Doctor presumably calls the jizz mopper in to clean up.

Planetside, the away team is ready to beam back up, but Voyager seems to be out of contact, and they can't initiate transport. So, Tuvok does the logical thing and orders Tom to fuck Torres so she won't die. Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, in the enlightened Starfleet, you can be ordered to fuck someone if it will save their life. YOU CAN BE ORDERED TO FUCK SOMEONE.

So Tom and Torres go off in the bushes and start getting to business - Tom apparently not bothered by the order to bone - but soon Vorik pops out from the bushes and tells Tom to get the fuck away from her, claiming her as his mate. He initiates the one thing where Kirk and Spock fought with Q-tips with razor blades on one end, and Tuvok says that it would be the best course of action to let one of them fight to the death. WHAT THE FUCK TUVOK. Then Torres insists that she fight Vorik, and Tuvok acknowledges that the mate being fought over gets to choose her representative, even if it's herself.

So they get in a rather pathetic fistfight, and eventually just seem to get tired. Their pon farr has been abated by beating the shit out of each other for a few minutes. That was fucking anticlimactic.

As they leave the planet, the aliens generously exchanging the gallacite in exchange for some technology to mask the gallacite readings, Chakotay finds something disturbing in the bushes and points it out to Janeway. The aliens had mentioned that they had been killed by an invading alien race, and the dessicated corpse of said race was right there - a Borg drone.

So, I remember reading an interview with Leonard Nimoy, and he was careful to state that he recognized the importance of maintaining his own character from those who would make a mockery of it. This is why I went into the new Trek film with no reservations - if Nimoy thought it was pretty good, then chances are, it probably will be. Anyway, he mentioned how a circus manager wanted to hire him to fly around a wire wearing pointed ears, and how episodes occasionally became outlandish with Vulcan's special mental abilities. He even named The Devil in the Dark as one of these episodes, as he performed a mind meld through a wall.

And that is what was profoundly wrong with this episode of Voyager. They made up an outlandish Vulcan ability solely to advance an exceptionally bad plot. And even in the end, you got the sense that Tim Russ was pretty embarrassed to be a part of it, and I'm amazed Andrew Robinson (yes, that Andrew Robinson who played a simple tailor on a different Trek series) agreed to direct it.

Rating: *
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 3
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

THAT EPISODE RAPES GARAK

HOW COULD HE DIRECT IT?!

Unity
Chakotay and a random ensign have managed to get themselves lost in the Nekrit Expanse. Let me say that again. The Nekrit Expanse. Apparently, the last couple of episodes have been set in the Nekrit Expanse, but has it been mentioned? Nope. Has it even come into play? Nope. But boy howdy, good thing there was a generic jungle planet for Torres and Vorik to have a catfight on.

Anyway, Chakotay and the ensign pick up a distress call asking for their help, naming the shuttlecraft as a Federation vessel - their curiosity piqued, and their insatiable lust to do whatever possible to prolong their trip engaged, they land on the planet originating the signal.

They encounter a desolate landscape. Soon, a group of aliens bursts forth and starts shooting. The ensign takes one in the chest, dropping the number of crew members that Tom could still have sex with by one (unless he did her already). Chakotay gets hit by a gun that seems to emit a mist all over him, but another group of aliens shows up and drags Chakotay away, fighting off the other aliens.

When he comes to, his first sight is of a pretty hot human woman. She explains that her group was the one that sent out the distress call, and that Chakotay's shuttle was surely stripped like a disabled vehicle in South Central LA by now. She is going to try to get the communications equipment up and running so that he can contact Voyager, and hopefully get them some needed supplies. She explains that everyone on the planet was kidnapped by an unknown race. A healthy portion of the Alpha Quadrant was represented, including Klingons, Cardassians, Romulans, and assorted Federation worlds. He tries to insist on helping her, but she convinces him to take a nap to recover.

Meanwhile, Voyager has picked up a ship on long-range sensors. They can't identify it, so naturally, they blast off to shove their nose up its ass. They'll wish they hadn't, though - it's a Borg Cube. Yes, this is the Borg's first real appearance on Voyager. However, the ship is disabled, and no life signs are aboard. Janeway sends over an away team to hopefully gather some tactical information they could use in case they meet up with future cubes.

Torres can't figure out why the ship was disabled, though. She speculates that an alien race even more powerful than the Borg had managed to disable the ship in such a way that it wouldn't even self-destruct like most Borg technology does when it ceases operation. She and the Doctor set about to perform an autopsy on the Borg to hopefully determine a cause of death.

Meanwhile, Chakotay wakes up and starts poking around. He manages to make it though a security gate, and encounters a rather ragtag group improving upon a settlement. He rounds a corner and sees some distinctly Borg-esque activity going on. The person being operated on turns around - it's the woman who saved Chakotay.

She explains that she was on a Federation ship assimilated and destroyed at Wolf 359, and her Romulan doctor suffered a similar fate. After being sent to the Delta Quadrant (more on that later), they ended up on a Cube that was disabled by some activity in the Expanse. They made it to the planet's surface, but were no longer connected to the hive mind. Maintaining their own localized collective, they established a settlement, and even started to regain their personalities and memories. However, this created a dissonance, and the collective dissolved, as old rivalries cropped up once more, apparently flaring with the Klingons attacking the Cardassians.

Chuckles, though, is getting worse, and the Romulan doctor and the woman help him back to his quarters.

On Voyager, the Doctor, Kes, and Torres are busy examining their new Borg friend. The Doctor determines that he died from decompression and exposure to space, but somehow trips a switch that temporarily activates the Borg. This greatly concerns Torres, as it could have sent a signal to the Collective. Voyager then finds a beacon that Chakotay left before going down to the planet, and heads that way.

The Borg 'cooperative' as they prefer to be called tries to figure out a solution for Chakotay to repair the neurological damage he suffered in the initial fight. They come up with a solution - temporarily joining him to the cooperative, and using some new age hippy Borg nonsense to help send neural energy his way to repair the damage. Naturally, Chakotay doesn't want anything to do with this, but eventually relents after being convinced that waiting for Voyager would most certainly mean his death. They slap a Borg device on his neck and start a drum circle or something, chanting in their mechanical hive voice to help repair the damage to his brain.

When he awakens, it's worked, and he and the woman bond, feeling exceptionally close after having experienced each other's thoughts (the cooperative's included images of the Klingons and Romulans being attacked and Wolf 359). A residual telepathic link exists between Chakotay and the woman, and he can feel how she feels when touched. They do this weird making-out-via-thumbs thing that makes no goddamn sense (it's like a stage kiss filmed from absolutely the wrong angle), and then it is implied that Chakotay actually gets some, because in the next scene, he is happily repairing the communications equipment with the woman.

Voyager arrives, and Chakotay and the woman beam aboard with a proposition. The cooperative would like Voyager's help in re-establishing the collective thought on the planet, bringing a new era of peace and harmony. Naturally, Janeway balks at this, but agrees to give it some more thought. Chakotay seems pretty distant, and when she asks him for his opinion after the woman has left, he says that while he wants to help them, he understands the Captain's position - they come to the conclusion that they'd be happy to help the cooperative with supplies, but nothing more.

A couple away teams head down, with Neelix in one shuttle and Chakotay and Torres in another. After dropping off their supplies, Chakotay and the woman have an awkward goodbye, and they leave. However, on the way back to Voyager, Chakotay starts hearing voices. Mechanized voices. He phasers Torres and heads back to the cube. Voyager dispatches a security team, but Chakotay phasers Tuvok and sets about re-establishing the collective - against his will.

This re-activates the Cube, and the Voyager staff manage a hasty escape. Just as the Cube is about to fire upon Voyager, it self-destructs - a final valentine from the cooperative, who is now all happily one voice once more.

Overall, it wasn't a bad episode. It is a very carefully-plotted introduction to Scorpion at the end of the season, but it still manages to allow the Borg some mystique (something that Voyager will, of course, shatter later on).

Rating: ***
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 4
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

Oh, yeah, about Wolf 359. This episode makes the rather startling claim that not only were the Klingons and Romulans attacked by the Borg Cube as it made its way towards Earth, but that they somehow transported drones back to the Delta Quadrant. No matter how you slice it, it requires some fanwanking to make it work. I don't have that big a problem with the ship attacking Klingons and Romulans, especially given that the Borg had scooped up an entire colony near the Neutral Zone, but transporting from Wolf 359 lends some credence to the idea that the Queen seen in FC was there as well. Possibly a secondary vehicle contained in the Cube was launched after Picard's assimilation, taking some newly acquired assets back to the Delta Quadrant for further study?

Darkling
Long story short, Voyager re-imagines Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and doesn't do the world's worst job at it.

Janeway is listening to some space nomad blather on and on about a moon that turned out to be a living creature. Another space nomad comes up and calls BS, and sends him scurrying, even after he threatens him with a weapon. Kes is with this second nomad, and they have been helping with transferring medical supplies to and from the ship. Kes is obviously quite taken by him.

The Doctor, meanwhile, is in the holodeck, interviewing dozens of characters from the historical database, including Lord Byron, Ghandi, Socrates, and T'Pau (a nice and rare nod to TOS, especially rare considering that Brannon Braga co-wrote the episode). Leonardo DaVinci is name-dropped as well, which is a good introduction to the character for S4. The Doctor plans to integrate all their best qualities into his program to improve his diagnostic procedure and bedside manner.

After coming back to the ship after a late-night makeout session, Kes is harassed by Tuvok and the Doctor for failing to complete her duties. She spouts off to the Doctor that she wishes people would stop treating her like a child, and that she can see whomever she wishes (the Doctor brings up her breakup with Neelix from Warlord, apparently, she agreed with the crazy despot, and I can't blame her). In the morning, she talks to Janeway, and discusses going on a trip with the nomad and meeting up with Voyager later. Janeway points out that she doesn't have to decide now, and encourages Kes to take the extra time to think about it.

The Doctor treats Torres for an allergic reaction to her consumption of some of the planet's plant life, and in the process, is exceptionally creepy. He mentions that he's tried integrating the personality traits into his program, and Torres says that she'll have to take a look later, as they tend to interact in odd ways, and someone not trained in holoprogramming might not account for the interactions.

That night, Kes and the nomad meet up, but Kes must actually, y'know, do her job, so no more late-night smooching on the cliffside. The nomad wanders out alone, and is thrown off a cliff by a hooded figure. The same figure then goes back to the bar where the nomads meet, and demands a place to stay and a ship from the barkeep. He refuses, but the man shoves his hand in the fire, burning it. The man then recommends a dermal regenerator, and is revealed to be the Doctor.

The next morning, Kes is told that her boyfriend's had an accident, and he's being cared for - he is not, however, dead. She and the Doctor gear up to go help, but at the last second, Torres says that she's found some problems with the Doctor's program, and he'll need to stay behind. In Sickbay, they start the diagnosis, but soon the Doctor's alter-ego takes over and drugs Torres, simulating an allergic reaction before deactivating himself. When Janeway and Tuvok find Torres collapsed, they reactivate him and he treats her. Janeway and Tuvok exit sickbay, and the alter-ego takes over again. He wakes Torres, but paralyzes her so she can't escape. He demands to know how to fix himself, but she won't tell him. He decides that the answers lie in the holocharacters he swiped his personalities from.

Kes returns to the ship to try to find the Doctor. She does so, discovering him in the holodeck, having dissected and corrupted all of the historical holocharacters. He then takes her hostage and forces her to go with him to the planet, planning to escape with her.

They almost succeed, but Tuvok and Chakotay corner the Doctor. Rather than be captured, the Doctor's alter-ego throws he and Kes over the edge of the cliff, only to be beamed out at the last second.

The alter-ego's pattern fully degraded, the Doctor is able to reassert himself. He apologizes to Kes and Torres, who helps remove the last vestiges of his modifications. Kes decides not to go with the nomad, stating that if she's going through ch-ch-ch-changes, she should be in a familiar environment.

I liked this episode because I think Robert Picardo can play menacing very well. He gets to play the bad guy again in Living Witness (one of Voyager's best episodes) and Equinox (a.k.a. B&B teasing us with what Voyager should have been). It was played a little over the top and a little hokey, but it was a welcome change in the sea of drab that is Voyager. The reason it gets dropped a star is because the romance subplot with Kes was just awful. It was terrible. I couldn't buy it at all, and it was just one giant stereotype.

Rating: ***
Torpedoes remaining: 21/38
Shuttlecraft destroyed: 4
Failed endings to the three-hour tour: 7

Not to defend these hacks, but I know Brannon Braga's gone on the record in saying he (or maybe Rick Berman as well) wanted more grittiness on Voyager. "Year of Hell" was supposed to have been a season-long acr, but the IIC of UPN nixed that idea, and it wasn't until the failing ratings of Enterprise that they'd even consider serializing a Trek series. Voyager and Enterprise's fail falls mostly on B&B's head, but network influences play a bigger than I gave it credit for until after Enterprise went off the air.

Looking at the review for Darkling, I realize I've yet to watch that episode. I missed a few in reruns around seasons 4 and 5 because my local station stopped syndicating the show before I could get those on tape, but that one sounds interesting.

I always thought about that too. And it's not the last time we see Alpha Quadrant species that were assimilated by the Borg at Wolf 359 ending up in the Delta Quadrant (Voyager miracalously bumps into more Wolf 359 victims who have magically ended up in the Delta Quadrant).

Does it actually say that they were taken on the way to Wolf 359? We don't know how far towards the center of the galaxy Klingon territory extends, but we do know Romulans and humans were captured when the Neutral Zone outposts were destroyed. It seems plausible that Klingons could have been captured around the same time. Cardassians are rather more of a stretch.

Also, the Borg may have a way of folding space, or some other über-long range transporters (requiring a pad of some sort at both ends, else they'd just invade the galaxy from the DQ):

Picard: But that ship, and all the Borg on it, were destroyed.
Borg Queen: You think in such three-dimensional terms. How small you've become.

It's easy to think in terms of 'official territory' given Star Trek's love of empire and authority. Why couldn't some Cardassians or Klingons have been picked up which weren't part of their official fleets? Traders, pirates, settlers, miners, tourists, etc.

It's one thing that has always bugged me about Trek, they almost always deal with sanctioned characters. There's no one worth a damn who isn't in official Starfleet capacity, or a member of the Klingon military. Of all series Voyager had the potential to break that glass house apart. Not that this hasn't been pointed out repeatedly...

That's one thing I'll give Enterprise credit for, introducing plenty of non-traditional Klingon characters.

Hmm.

I thought 'Darkling' was just awful.

Riley (the human woman) explicitly stated she was assimilated during the battle of Wolf 359. I had assumed that the Borg ship had assimilated the other races along the way. The route that Voyager was set to take before future Janeway threw away all her ethics and morals and Starfleet platitudes would have taken them through the Beta Quadrant (additonally, Earth is hinted to be closer to the Beta Quadrant border). Cardassians, however, really don't make a lot of sense, as they would have been beyond Earth, but I'd have to guess that they picked up an Obsidian Order ship on some sort of long-range mission.

Certainly a possibility. Unity aired after FC (obviously, given the phaser rifles), so in a strange, fucked up sort of way, Voyager's actually building on continuity created by FC.

Well, it wasn't Shakespeare, and I know I'm already unreliable when it comes to Doctor-centric episodes, but it was far better than a lot of Voyager. I also liked that, for once, the entire conflict of the episode was generated by a senior staff member fucking up. I would question why he didn't get more than a slap on the wrist, but then I remembered that Janeway's let everyone else get away with far worse.

How do you really punish the Doctor, though?

Besides, he was arguably suffering from a form of mental illness at the time, so it's hard to argue he should be held accountable if he's already been cured.

Disagree. In TOS, there was Cyrano Jones, Mudd, etc., plus several scientists on backwater planets.

We saw plenty of non-aligned and non-Starfleet scientists on TNG, as well as a few pirates and the odd saboteur. But it was mostly in the first two seasons, which people didn't like. On the Enterprise, you had Guinan and Keiko.

In DS9 we had Kassidy Yates, Quark, Rom, Morn, Ishka (hmm... I'm seeing a pattern), Garak (sort of), Toral (not a member of the Klingon military), that guy who reignited a star with protomatter, the Albino, and others.

In Voyager, there's Neelix, Kes, the Caretaker, Susperia, all the Kazon... actually, Voyager probably does the worst in this regard.

Voyager runs across traders and such all the time (at least in the earlier seasons). It gives the impression that they're always dealing with ambassadors and leaders, mostly because they are essentially racking up the Starfleet record for first contacts.

Oh, in Darkling how did the Doc get out of Sickbay? Or am I remembering something incorrectly?



EDIT: Nevermind. You already reviewed Future's End...